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Tango update - Page 2

post #31 of 34
Thread Starter 
It has almost been two weeks, and I still cannot beleive Tango is gone. I have nightmares, and the what if's and maybe's are killing me. I feel so very responsible. If I hadn't relocated with my fiancee, but instead stayed where we were, and made sure the vet saw him everyday, if I hadn't been so stubborn about the blood transfusion. Maybe he would still be here.
I see him everywhere. I feel cheated and I am angry. I don't know what to do. The one friend that I could talk to has just made me feel like garbage, she said she so worried about me that she had to pay to go massage therapist twice and had a panic attack, so now I feel like I have no-one to talk to. My family says he is better off now that he is no longer in pain, as far as we know he wasn't in pain.
Am I a terrible person? I feel like it. I guess this is all rhetorical, I don't expect people I don't know to tell me that I am not responsible, someday maybe I won't feel like I am.
I have found a lot of support here. I don't want to take advantage of this forum, I know there are a lot of people out there who have bigger problems with their loved ones, I think I just need to vent for a while longer. Thank-you for always being there.

Cytnhia, Bruce and Tango
post #32 of 34
Dearest Cynthia,

Oh Cynthia, my heart is so broken for you. I know for a fact that you loved him sooooo much...just look at the past thread...How many people gave you the support you came here to ask for...You took incredible care of him. It was so overwhelming to my heart when learning of all of his health problems. Poor Tango was riddled with health problems...just like many people...and we do not recover either.
My prayers and hopes for recovery were so strong for him. I just know that sometimes things just don't make any sense so we blame ourselves; because there's no one to blame, nothing that anyone could've done anymore than you already had. Please don't let your emotions run wild with the "what if's". He is alive. He is with you always. All of us here too. I for one will never forget him; due to the major fact that YOU & BRUCE were taking such good care of him and more importantly loving him with all your heart!
I wish there was something extremely intelligent I could say...I'm just rambling on because I don't want to see you in pain; you've gone through so much already. Plese email me if you wish to talk anytime....bufbod007@aol.com

There are many special kitties ... all of them! Tango always stuck out in my mind for some reason; and that reason was your love and care for him.

My prayers are with you

Gods Blessings to You & Bruce

post #33 of 34
You vent here all you need. All of us here know just how much a part of our lives they are. When they pass, it seems just as hard as loosing a human family memeber. What matters most is that everything in your power was done to help Tango. If he brought one smile to your face and you his then all of it was for something. You feel free to share any time you need to.
post #34 of 34
Dearest Cynthia,

I also wanted to mention that you're responsible for your best freind's feelings. I'm sure you've heard that time and time again...but, it's always nice to reinforce it. I'm sorry she went through that, but that's what best friends are for! We have to depend on our friends and family. Our families love us so much that they want to see us out of pain so quickly, yet the truth is...they are right Cynthia...this is not your fault...I don't know of many people with a heart that can just move on...do you? In all cases, I think our pain must be reckoned with and it takes time to accept it. We all feel guilty about things in our lives; I had the same thing happen to me, except it was my dog. If I look back; I can relive the horror,..that's if I choose to...I won't only because I know in my heart NOW...that what happened was meant to be. It took some time. Give yourself some more time.
Forgive my rambling once again, I am truly concerned for you.
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