I am a lost little person

This is sort of like a Vent but also asking for ideas?

In the last 4 years I feel like I didnt achieve anything.
Right now I am looking for Work but I still need to get certain papers done and go to places to get my work permit.
Tomorrow I'm going to go and apply to see if i can get any places to learn German, It has improved alot in the last year, just I need to read and write it a little better and to improve my grammer and stuff..

But i dont want to just go to the German course come home and sit around, i want to do something that would be some sort of achievement, I only know of one cat shelter around here that i could help out at, last time i was there the lady wasnt very nice to me though. (this was when i wanted to get a kitten before i got teufel) I will go again though and tell them i would like to volounteer.
I feel very lost, I have moved back and forth between two cities in the last 3 months, lost very special people who were in my life and i feel like i am stuck in a hole.

I am glad that i still have people at TCS to talk to, because i know most of you will understand how im feeling.
Although most of you wouldnt even know what the heck to reply to this thread

fran i know exactly how you feel.

as you know i'd been feeling the same when i had broken up with my bf, come back from travelling and completed uni. felt like a nice stable period of my life had come to an end and felt kind of adrift.

what i did was everyday just do three things that made me happy. it might be little things like buy myself a magazine, make myself a really nice dinner and use a face mask.

you've been through a lot recently and need to spend some time taking care of yourself.

what i would do is have a think about the sort of hobbies you have and what you like doing and maybe join some clubs or societies? there might even be a group for expats living in germany or you could join a craft group, sewing circle or womens group.


you sound like your getting things back on track so just hang in there and things will start coming together, you'll see.

remember, i'm here whenever you need a chat and we all love you!

I feel like this at the moment. Like I am in limbo. I was going to go to university when I left school and decided last minute I wasnt ready so went to work instead and that was 4 years ago, now I'm really ready for it but don't know what I want to do.
I hate my job but I have to wait until Mark graduates in May as we will probably have to move somewhere else so theres no point in me getting settled. So at the moment I am just 'hangin around' and I hate it.
What Nicky suggested is good, if you have time on your hands just use it wisely and try different things. Before you know it you could find yourself accidentally doing something you truly love.
My mum didnt find her true calling in life until she was about 45... she just tried lots of things and never settled but now she's found the line of work for her.
I think unless you have a passion, you need to just use trial and error.
Good luck
Lauren

Actually Fran, you've doen a good thing because you've actually set yourself a goal - you're not quite as lost as you think - you want to learn German and you want to volunteer at a cat shelter. It might not be a long term plan, but look at it like this, it's a plan and it'll keep you going until you can find something better

Fran...

Fran,

When my mom came over tho the US, she worked at a boutique store owned by a german woman to learn better english. Maybe there's an italian owned coffee house or something where they'll appreciate someone who can speak their own language, and wouldn't mind that your german isn't tip top! Working in a service industry is a great way to get more confident in a second language, and make a little cash to boot. Also, once you get a job, getting a different one later will be easier!

yes, I dont know if anyone remembers but i used to work at the italian restaurant next door under the table, but they kept on putting me down each time i got better that i ended up just leaving.
I wouldnt mind working in another restaurant, but i dont need the boss to put me down and wanting to give me a lower wage than it already is!

I worked over time, and didnt add that on top i sometimes stayed 2 - 3 hours after closing fixing everything and i never got payed for it, so i dont think it was fair for them.

OF COURSE I know that every boss will be a booboo but you know... not to be a stuck up.. i have a higher status than they do and being looked down as if im a piece of poo i do not appriciate. I treat people equally, and i expect the same.

There is an english pub in my street, i will ask them if they need any help since its xmas time!

Originally Posted by fwan

There is an english pub in my street, i will ask them if they need any help since its xmas time!

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That is a great idea! Just apply at a few places, and you will be working before you know it. Sometimes the idea that you can start work right away will be just the ticket to getting the job.

I have to agree with Amy! Ending a destructive relationship is often the hardest thing to do. Now you are going to start job hunting, and learning German even better. Now that you don't have someone at home treating you poorly, it will be easier to make sure people at work will treat you well.

You rock, Fwan. You are a wonderful person, very caring, and always there when someone needs a shoulder. I'm sure you will do well at whatever job you end up at!

Fran, I understand what you're going through too. I often have that lost feeling. I didn't go to college, I always thought I'd just live out my dream and get married and have kids. When my marriage failed, I was stuck in a rut all the time, feeling worthless and going nowhere. I still am occasionally. It usually lasts a few days to a week, but I come out of it and then do stuff for myself to pamper myself, or I just do something extra at work or at home to make myself feel worthwhile. Talking here on TCS makes any problem easier. They give you their honest opinions, and I hope you have found it to be a help! Chin up, you'll come out of the rut soon!

I was in a similar situation a little over a year ago. My life had changed dramatically (after breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years) and I felt lost. I had no idea what to do with my life.

One thing that might help is to write down the list of things that you want in your life. Things like... where you'd like to live (maybe a city in particular, or just in general in a big city or suburb or in the country), whether you want a house or an apartment... what kind of job you'd like... what kind of volunteer work you'd like to do... how many pets you want... what kind of things you'd like to learn... etc.
It doesn't have to be complete or defenitive. It's also ok to include things that are not realistic in the short run. Some of your goals you might not achieve, others you might change... doesn't matter. It should help you be more focused.

Don't see it as a list of things that are missing in your life (that's depressing) but as a way to focus your life on what makes you happy. Actually, include things that you already have if they're important to you and you want to keep them in your life.

What really worked in getting me on the right track when I felt lost was to think about what I really wanted to do with my life and then find a way to achieve it. In the short run it involved making some sacrifices but at least I felt like I was going towards something I wanted.
So instead of moving to a big city right away (which I was eager to do), I stayed where I was and kept my job to save money to go back to school (which was more important to me in the long run than moving right away)

Hope that made sense.

Good luck

You people don't know how to spell. It' Fwan... F-W-A-N... FWAAAAAAN... Seriously Fwan, I wish you the best and that things get better for you. Keep your head up!

Originally Posted by Hydroaxe

You people don't know how to spell. It' Fwan... F-W-A-N... FWAAAAAAN... Seriously Fwan, I wish you the best and that things get better for you. Keep your head up!

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I know her username is Fwan, but I saw everyone else calls her Fran in a lot of other posts...I assumed that was her first name, and I looked at her profile to see if it was but it doesn't say. Or are we calling her Fwan like some people call you Wyan?
Fwan or Fran or whatever your name is....(lol)....what IS your name?

Fwan(Fran)
It will be better in the future - you are a wonderful caring person with a lot to offer to any employer or friend. Just keep your chin up and talk to all of us here at TCS whenever you need to. Have a safe and happy Christmas time anyway. I know we still have a week to go but a bit early never hurt.

Originally Posted by menagerie mama

I know her username is Fwan, but I saw everyone else calls her Fran in a lot of other posts...I assumed that was her first name, and I looked at her profile to see if it was but it doesn't say. Or are we calling her Fwan like some people call you Wyan?

Fwan or Fran or whatever your name is....(lol)....what IS your name?

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Yeah I was just joking. Fwan gave herself that username because she thought it was cute when little kids pronounced the "r" like a "w". I think it's funny and cute too. We have an entirely vaccuous thread dedicated to Fwan. Fwan, we do hope you can cheer up though.

Fran,
When I was in my early 20's I went through the same thing you are. Just be strong, it will get better. I agree with maverick_kitten "you've been through a lot recently and need to spend some time taking care of yourself".

Fran - it sounds like you're not as lost as you think you are. You're thinking of ways to give your life the sense of purpose that you're looking for; you're thinking positively. That's wonderful. Keep your level of determination high and stay focussed and you will achieve your dreams. We're all there with you Fran.

Fran, you are doing really well to explain how you feel so clearly! That's a big step in getting on with things, being able to really understand yourself exactly why you feel the way you do.

I also highly reccommend volunteer work. Especially if you have to take a job that isn't really fulfilling (like that restaurant job). If you just have a job where they don't appreciate you, it can really get you down. But if you are also doing volunteer work in something you love, it gives you a really wonderful feeling of your own self worth. And I have found that I get lots of great feedback on my volunteer work, enough to counter balance the tedium of the paid job sometimes.