Both kitties gone within 2 1/2 weeks

I am writing this today because as a reader of this site I know I will find the support that I so desperately need. 2 1/2 weeks ago, I put my beloved cat of 17 years to sleep. Old age had finally caught up with her and she was starting to suffer. We spent many days saying goodbye before I brought her to the vet.

Last night, as I was eating dinner, my other baby 12 year old kitty collapsed to the ground. After rushing her to the animal hospital, I was told that it was a stroke and that there was nothing I could do but put her out of her pain.

So now I sit home alone without my girls and I wonder how soon is too soon to get another kitty? Why did this happen so close together? It was too soon.

Most of all, I wonder why people don't understand this kind of loss and why they feel the need to be cruel. I called out of work today and was told by a co-worker to stop wallowing, get over it and deal with it. It was just a cat.

That couldn't be farther from the truth. They were my babies and best friends.

Thanks for reading. Just writing this down was good for me.

~Killian and Shalimar's Mommy~

Kyllyan,


Firstly, Welcome to TCS. You have found a site full of loving compasionate people who feel your love and loss for cats and all animals in general.

most importantly,

Words wont ease your pain but I do know and feel for you and your family. Cats are our furbabies or furchildren and touch our soul like no other animal. I am saddened for your loss and have had a similar experience with 2 dogs 1 cat a turtle and a lizzard all in one horrible christmas break.

You did take the right course of action for your cats, hard as it was on you, you did them a favor by letting them go. I believe that our animals will stay with us out of love far longer than their body will let them.
I believe that your 12 year old baby saw that her buddy for those 12 years was gone, saw the pain in your eyes and felt the sad emotional stress of the house and thought it was her time to go to.

Who knows.
You will find out one day when we all cross that bridge.
I am so happy for you that you had so many wonderful years with these cats. So many cats are taken so quickly in life.

I hope that you take the time to reflect upon the many many many happy memories of your babies and rejoice over the time you had with them.
Once you feel comfortable at their loss, (it will always be a sad spot but there comes a point of acceptance) THEN it will be time to go looking for another cat. But thats just my opinion.

I would beg you to consider looking at your local shelter, rescue agency or SPCA for a cat. The next feline love of your life could be waiting there for you. You will never find a more appreciative animal than one, whose life you saved.

God bless you and please stay a while and let us know how you are doing and share with us your new babies when you are ready.

Ric

and PS

Dont give your coworker the courtacy of even acknowledging their ignorance about your feelings. Maybe even mention that you are sorry for them that they have not found the rewards of being loved by an animal. (or person for that matter )

Oh my goodness i'm so sorry!, to lose one baby is bad enough, but two in such a short space of time is just tragic

Me personally i would be getting another kitty to help you through this sad time but everyones different.

And as for your co workers, ignore them! because only true animal lovers know what your going through

RIP Little ones and play over the bridge together

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. Your house must feel so empty I've been there.

Everyone here does understand the pain you are going through. You preciosu babies were not "just" cats. The were important members of the family and you grieve just like any other loss.

Only you know when you are ready for another cat. Some people adopt a new kitty the same day, some people may wait years. Before we lost Molly, I always said I would not get another (due to allergies). Around 6 weeks later we adopted Abby.

Your heart will let you know when it is time. We are always here if you need us.

What a terrible thing to happen. Fate plays us cruel tricks sometimes. As to getting another cat, I have always found that my cats adopt me,rather than the other way round. One day soon you will hear of a lost soul who needs a home, or you will meet a stray. They get put into our lives at the right time, for them and us. Or, if you miss feline company, go and visit the local shelter and volunteer a bit - the chances are that you will meet a kitty who touches your heart and know it is right. I would not rush it, let it happen.

Hi

Thanks for replying to my thread, and yea, we are doing parellel grief for sure, however, yours is double and I really feel for you.

As for co-workers and others who dont understand, they lack empathy, they have no clue what its like to love something unconditionally and I agree with the last post, they are missing out.

Its your family member and you have a right to grieve, if your boss doesnt like it, go to your doctor and tell him your stressed out and what your going through and you will get a few more days off and there is nothing your employer can do about it, at least thats how it works in Canada, not sure about anywhere else but I would think it would be the same since Western civilization functions pretty similiar.

As sad as I am these kind of people make me angry and I wouldnt want to see any of them right now. My daughter is going through dealing with these kinds of people, I am isolated and everyone here knows what the cat meant to me and have nothing but condolences and would never say anything stupid like "its just a cat, get over it". In fact I have three more up here and when I go away, whoever takes care of them is terrified that something might happen to them while in their care and take extra special note of anything abnormal and know to expend any resources to save them.

I guess that is where my guilt comes from. Letting the old girl live with my daughter when I could have brought her here. She was tired of the other cats... she was close with my daughter so when she wanted to move on her own, I reluctantly agreed.... and well.... was it right.... was it stupid.... my head says no but my heart kicks my ass.

Anyway, I would wait until your grieving for these two is gone before getting another cat. And I agree to get one from the shelter but be prepared for possible illness in those cats as well. I have one from a shelter who brought upper-repiratory illness to the house and although she has no re-occuring problems my persian caught it from her, and has heart disease, gets sick every-time he gets stressed, watering eyes, cough ect..... so take the health into consideration when getting another cat, preferrably a domestic that didnt live on the street but was unwanted by her owners..... those usually make healthier pets... but its up to you.... but please give it a little time.

Again, I am sorry, at least I have the others with me, if your house is empty, I cannot imagine.... grieve then look at getting yourself another companion, or even two.. I find two are better than one, especially if you are away from the home 8 hours a day... and what fun they would be watching them race around chasing one another

Take care and God Bless you

Michelle

If it were me, my house would already be blessed with new arrivals. Your cats lived long lives and you are to be commended for that. I am sure your heart is breaking, but I am also sure that you have enough love in that generous heart to give to two needy cats or kittens.

Thats really rough. Sorry for your loss. RIP Kitties

Oh, how awful. What a terrible thing, to lose them both so close together! At least you know they have each other over the Rainbow Bridge.

Personally, if I called in to work for a pets death, I would just call it a loss in the family and leave it at that. Use your personal days, and to heck with trying to explain your feelings to a heartless person in personnel!

Like Hissy, I see nothing wrong with getting another furkid to love right away. If you wish to wait, that is ok, too. It isn't as if you are trying to replace the kitties, it is simply being aware that as mere humans, we need a little feline companionship. I don't think I have been without a fur family member for almost 22 years! And I plan to keep it that way.

I am so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, Killian and Shalimar.

I am so so sorry for your loss

I had a hard time getting over the death of my cat Lucy (RIP 24.11.04) I had her for 12 years, I was lucky that my boss was an animal lover and understood that I needed time off work and was very supportive.

I do agree with Hissy I think as you obviously cared so much for your cats that your heart is big enough to have another cat(s) be part of your life again, when I lost Lucy I did quite quickly get another cat, I wasn't trying to replace her, that I could never do, but my heart has so much to give to these animals and I knew I could give a very good home to another cat, I still miss Lucy like mad but I have another cat to make me laugh now and it has eased the pain so much.

Good luck and I will be thinking of you

Thank you all for your kind words and condolences. I have spent the day at home and it is truly empty without my girls.

I will absolutely be adopting at least one, if not two, furbabies from a rescue, shelter or the Humane Society. My plan is to visit each one until I find the one (or two) that grab my heart. Knowing me is will be the first ones I meet

I had no idea how hard this would be. All of your compassion has truly touched me today. I don't feel so alone after all.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by kyllyan

So now I sit home alone without my girls and I wonder how soon is too soon to get another kitty?

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Well, I lost my sweet Lola about 2 weeks ago to FeLV. The night she died, a new kitty barrelled headfirst into my life as though she had been sent to comfort me by Lola herself. You'll know when the time is right to bring another special kitty friend into your life. Don't think in terms of "too soon" or "too late"...just whenever it is right for you, even if that is tomorrow. You'll know.

Sometimes, I feel like it hasn't even hit me that she is gone. Sometimes the weight is so heavy that I don't think I can get out of bed.

The people who put you down are doing so because they might have never felt what you did with your two babies. Or they are just plain jealous that you felt the very special love of your kitties. Nothing in the world will ever replace these special friends.

I'm so sorry that you lost both kitties so close together...someone told me when Lola died that God gives us what we can handle..obviously God/The Universe/Whatever you believe in thought you'd be a good enough person to love these girls and then appropriately mourn their passings. The Universe never messes up.

These kitties are now safely across the Rainbow Bridge and are being kept company by my sweet Lola and other sweet kitties we have lost around here.

I am so sorry for your loss. May you continue to heal.

oh no! I`m so sorry for the loss of both of your kitties....and in such a short period of time.How tragic.
That really urks me that your coworker could be so cruel as to say something like that. There is no excuse for saying such a horrible thing to you, and I`m sorry that it happened to you.
Please do get a couple new babies....not that they will take the places of the ones you just lost, but surely you have a big enough heart to make room for a couple more.
Let us know if and when you do...and be sure to post pics!
Linda

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. If the kitties were very close, it is entirely possible that your second one passed away from a broken heart. I have had clients that this has happened to, and have heard many similar stories. As for getting a new kitty or two....wait or not, it's your call. As said before, there's no waiting period, you just do what feels right. If it were me too, and they were my only two, I would set out right away to get more, but that's just me, I would hate to live one minute without furbabies, and especially knowing SO many need homes, and every day thousands are put to sleep due to not having homes. Good luck in your decision, and you are in my thoughts.

Oh no. I would be so lost if anything happened to Neko right now, with Indy just gone last week. I would have to go out and get a new one right away. As far as calling in sick to work, there are darn few humans I'd miss so much as an hour of my shift for let alone furry friends, but then that's me. I dropped my Indy off at the vet for 7:30 and went in to a meeting at work at 10 am on my day off. I'm just rather heartless and too essential at my work to call in sick for less than actually being sick.

Originally Posted by menagerie mama

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

If the kitties were very close, it is entirely possible that your second one passed away from a broken heart. I have had clients that this has happened to, and have heard many similar stories. As for getting a new kitty or two....wait or not, it's your call. As said before, there's no waiting period, you just do what feels right. If it were me too, and they were my only two, I would set out right away to get more, but that's just me, I would hate to live one minute without furbabies, and especially knowing SO many need homes, and every day thousands are put to sleep due to not having homes. Good luck in your decision, and you are in my thoughts.

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These were my thoughts exactly! Condolences on your sad loss but know that your girls are together now, playing happily over RB. And I do have sympathy for your co-worker whose callous comment merely served to reveal her utter ignorance - how sad that she does not know the joy & love of a soulmate-kitty, what a bleak life that would be. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I look forward to reading about your next furbabies soon - no, they don't replace the ones you've lost, they aren't meant too, but those sympathetic purrs, headbutts and licks are very, very therapeutic. Hugs, Susan

Originally Posted by kyllyan

I will absolutely be adopting at least one, if not two, furbabies from a rescue, shelter or the Humane Society. My plan is to visit each one until I find the one (or two) that grab my heart. Knowing me is will be the first ones I meet

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Excellent and i'm sure which ever ones you pick will help to heal your broken heart.

You won't ever forget your little girls, but i'm sure they would give their approval if they could speak

I am soo sorry for your losses. They are together now at RB playing peacefully. RIP sweet angels.


I am happy to hear you are going to rescue another kitty, that is great! You will make some deserving kitty very happy

I am so sorry, I can only imagine the pain you're going through. I adopted my first cat about 4 months ago and even in a short time, I know I'd be lost without her. Please know everyone on this site is so wonderful and caring and we're all here for you. That comment by your co-worker really got me worked up but like was said, it is just ignorance. I hope you find one or two more wonderful kitties that will help to make your furbaby life complete again. RIP little ones, we are thinking about you.....

I am so sorry for your loss.

Personally, when we lost our beloved 1 1/2 year old Lillybet just about a month ago, we got another kitty right away, and I have to say it has helped.

Another kitty would be a nice distraction- of course, you will still grieve for your lost ones, but knowing you have helped a homeless cat AND being blessed by having the new cat around might really help. I know it helped me.

I think you will know in your heart when the time is right. We didn't plan to adopt another one so quickly; we decided to start visiting our favorite cat shelter until the right one came along. Well, little Meegan was the first cat (just under a year) to walk up to us, and she stayed with us the entire hour we were there meeting all the cats.
We thought, "No way could the first cat who walked up to us be the right one!" Too good to be true...
But she stayed either in our arms or on our shoulders while we met the many, many cats there.

Funny, even though we had 7 other cats, we had only one other female; this female was really grieving for her sister. Well, she and little Meegan have become fast friends, and I'm sure it has actually helped Lillybet's sister as well as us!

Good luck; sorry for the ramble!