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New Kitten= Better Old kitten

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
i have already asked why my kitten scratches at my door at night and how to solve it. the main suggeston was to get another kitten so she has a playmate. So i have talked my boyfriend into another but he says that if they both started the scratching and meowing at all hours of the night then they would both have to find a new home. so what are the chances of the new kitten adopting the old kittens behavior? i dont want to adopt another and then end up having no choice but to find them both new homes! please please plase help me!!!

She is not allowed in the room because she wont go to sleep. she plays for hours before she finally tires out. Plus it is the only room in the house that is cat free and i feel it is important for us to have a room where we can go and have us time. She is not neglected and has a comfy bed with lots of blankets and toys and whatever she could want. She has soiled our bed twice before which is a major part of her not being allowed in the room. We have tried sleeping with the door open but there is no chance of me getting a wink of sleep that way. she crawls under the covers and plays with feet and hair and licks and plays some more. when she tires of being under the covers she gets on top of them and pounces on everything. stomachs and private areas are the most targets places.

as most of you are trying to help my main question is what are the chances of a new kitten adopting Phenom's bad habits?
post #2 of 21
Is there a reason why the kitten isn't allowed inside your bedroom? When I only had one kitten, he would chew on me while I was asleep. Then I got two and they run across me while playing tag while I'm asleep, but I've gotten used to it. kitties, as a general rule, don't like closed doors. If I close my door on my cats, they meow and poke their paws under the door. I don't know if eventually they'd lose interest and go amuse themselves as I've never had the door closed for very long. In your situation, I think your kittens may scratch at the door for a few minutes, but then lose interest and start playing tag and wrestling around the rest of your house. Of course, this won't happen overnight, they will have to become used to each other before they get friendly.
post #3 of 21
I can just about guarantee that they will tear around the house with each other, rather than scratch on your door!!
I am saying this after 20+ years of experience, the first several years having just one cat who pestered me constantly, then going to having 2 at once after we lost the first one.
Two kittens are (almost) always better than one! They USUALLY take out their energy on each other, rather than destroying your stuff!
post #4 of 21
Zakk was a pain in the bum every a.m.- meowing and demanding that he be fed. This started at7 a.m. and got earlier, and earlier. We got him at 6 months old. When we got Rocky when he was almost a year old, this eventually stopped!
post #5 of 21
i cant beleive your boyfriend would make you re-home a pet because it scratched at the door!

if you look in the behavior forum there are people desperate to keep hold of and cure their pets with far worse problems.
post #6 of 21
Thread Starter 
We will probably end up not getting another kitten. we discussed it at length last night and he left it up to me. i just know i couldnt bear to get rid of it after we have taken her into our hearts. and to risk gettting rid of Phenom is not an option. any other suggestions are welcome and much appreciated!!
post #7 of 21
kittens are very social creatures as well as being nocturnal so locking a lone kitten out of the room is like torture for them!

do they have a comfy bed to sleep in?

is there a room you could confine two kittens in over night?
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
i cant beleive your boyfriend would make you re-home a pet because it scratched at the door!

if you look in the behavior forum there are people desperate to keep hold of and cure their pets with far worse problems.
Sorry if this sounds rude but it needs to be said.

i really didnt ask for insults. he is not a cat lover like i am. he was only allowing the cat in our home because he knew it would make me happy. this is a big problem because she doesnt just do it once or twice a night for a few minutes she doest it 7 or 8 times a night for 30 minutes at a time. he works with dangeous machinery at work and cannot afford to be groggy while repairing them and risking himself injury or even death. so before you go and jump to conclusions without knowing the whole story perhaps you should ask for details. we are not going to re-home our first baby. the debate was actually if we got another and they both did it then he would get rid of them both. atleast i am not suggesting putting them down, i am a responsible pet owner. Finding them new homes while they are young is far better than re-homing them when they are adults or putting them down. and i was asking for HELP and ADVICE not sour words.

Now She does have a comfy bed with lots of towels and blankets and if she doesnt want to sleep there she can always go the the living room and sleep on the couch with the blankets aor in the den and lay on the carpet. she has run of the entire house all except our bedroom. she is rarely let into our bedroom.
post #9 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phenomsmom
i have already asked why my kitten scratches at my door at night and how to solve it. the main suggeston was to get another kitten so she has a playmate. So i have takled my boyfriend into another but he says that if they both started the scratching and meowing at all hours of the night then they would both have to find a new home. so what are the chances of the new kitten adopting the old kittens behavior? i dont want to adopt another and then end up having no choice but to find them both new homes! please please plase help me!!!

Why dont you tell your BF that if he doesnt soften his stance on the cat HE can find a new home. What is this the 1950s tell him your getting another cat and if he dont like the scratching then he can march his sexist old fasioned a** right out the door. (note: I am male and his behavior is unacceptable even from my vantage point)
post #10 of 21
this works the other way around, if my GF (if I ever have or WANT one) ever said this to me I would say there is the door, dont let it hit you on the a** on the way out.
post #11 of 21
Thread Starter 
i live in HIS home is why i cant throw him out. everything is in HIS name. And our relationship is not worth throwing out because of a cat that we dont even have yet. and he isnt being rude about it but like i said he has to have his sleep at night. i do too.
post #12 of 21
to put it bluntly your only 20 (I read your profile), and this guy is already asserting control over you, The relationship is going to end or you will be stuck in a miserable situation years from now. Now is the time to figue out whether this guy is an ***hole or not and a good way to do this is to do what you want and see how he reacts.

the cat is only scratching at the door because he wants to sleep with you, its not rocket science. Why dont you just open the door and let the kitten in at night?
post #13 of 21
this is a cat welfare site, i would have found it more surprising that i was the first person to say this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phenomsmom
atleast i am not suggesting putting them down, i am a responsible pet owner. Finding them new homes while they are young is far better than re-homing them when they are adults or putting them down.
actually what would be a lot better is only getting pets if you are prepared to look after them their whole lives, not sending them away at the first sign of any percieved problem.

the reason why i asked if you had a comfy bed for them else where is that many people may not have. i havent been to your house and as you had not explained the set up this was merely a question.

if you read any of the other posts where members partners have suggested getting rid of the cat or otherwise mis-treating it you will see that the partner does not fare well in the replies.

this is a public forum, if you do not want to recieve opinions and responses that do not agree with your own views then do not post.
post #14 of 21
I'm sorry, I don't recall the reason as to why you keep your kitty out of your room at night. It might be helpful if you provide a link to explain this as people may be able to help you better!

I think that your cat may be lonely being kept from the room and having previously been allowed in is confused as to what has changed.

I have all three of my cats in my room with me at night and get woken numerous times (too many to count), however, I would not dream of locking them out for this reason (but that's just me!)

Tibby has always scratched at the door, so I placed a piece of scratchable carpet down so that he can use that - and it also slightly (sometimes) dampens the sound. I have just learnt to not hear it as often, as I know that he's not doing any damage and he's not having a problem that he needs me for!
post #15 of 21
I am not going to attack you but i noticed that you didnt answer a question that many members have asked a few times through out this thread...

Why isnt your kitty allowed to sleep with you?
My cats will scratch at the door and howl like crazy if i shut it and they are out of the room.

Cats dont like to be alone, My cat was actually alone before i got my second one, and they are really happy together, they are kittens after all... its just like teaching human babies certain rules, once they get older they grow out of certain things and some new problems will come up.

Believe me once you let your kitty in the bedroom it will just sleep with you and then wake YOU up when its hungry

Try it and you will see that it wont bother you!

If you are scared that its going to peep or poop in the bedroom, get a litter box that is covered, with a flap (im sure you have those there too) and put it in the bedroom, shove your kitty in there so it knows where to go incase he needs to go to the toilet
post #16 of 21
I suggest you read this thread to gain insight on what can happen when one partner loves animals and one doesn't. It is about a forum member who left her BF becuause of his viewpoints on animals.
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72343
post #17 of 21
Please don't get snappish now. We're concerned that there's an ultimatum on your ability to keep a cat, and that is for such a "little" thing. The vast majority of us do NOT shut our cats out of a room simply because we know this is the type of thing that will happen.

Another suggestion for you, whether or not you get a second kitten, would be to set up a room (not a bathroom) for kitty, with toys and a nightlight, a bed, food, water and litterbox.

Play with kitty for a good workout, feed some wet, and then put them in their "room" for the night. This will restrict the noise from the front of your door, and if you do it every night, the kitten will get used to the idea that that is time to be quiet and sleep, or will just be happy to be in their room at night. It will take getting used to for a little while, but that's an option.

If you do not have another room with a closeable door, block off an area with 2 babygates stacked vertically, a bit away from your bedroom, and invest in some nightlights.

I have also heard from Hissy once, that some people have had success with taking a vaccuum and puting it outside the door at the "on" position. When the kitten starts scratching at the door, you plug in the cord for just a couple seconds, and they learn that they're not going to get the response they're looking for. This is not, however, very nice if you have to work in the morning, or if you have a downstairs neighbor.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Okay! thank you everyone!! i have made the decision for sure not to get another baby. not that we wouldnt care for her but i dont think we need another. and i dont want to risk having to find a home for her. i couldnt part with her once she was ours. so thank you again to everyone who helped. sorry if i was a little pissy, there were a lot of misunderstandings with this post!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
post #19 of 21
I feel a little bit for Phenomsmom as a single woamn dealing with dating and have two kittens I am sure my stance has limited my dating pool. I just won't date guys who don't have an interest in me having Finn and Darci - we are a package deal and though they are not even a year they were in my life before them and give me real good love. Oddly enough I seem to be dating a much better quality of man now!

Hopefully Phenom and her kitten will have better luck with her next guy.
post #20 of 21
I know you've made your decision.... but I wanted to make one more suggestion.

I had similar worries about whether my 2 would get a long and if getting a second cat would "cure" my first's behavior problems (or if the 2nd would just adopt the same problems).

I adopted my kitten from a rescue society that has a foster-to-adopt program. They are 100% committed to finding the kitty a good home that matches with the owners - so if there were problems with my existing cat they would take the kitten back and continue trying to find it the "right" home.

My plan was to try for 3-4 weeks and if there was a disaster, I'd give him back.

It turned out beautifully. My old cat LOVES the new cat. They play for hours. They lick each other for hours..... and ***ALL*** of the behavior problems have gone away.

Maybe there's some sort of rescue foundation with a similar fostering policy where you live??

Happy Holidays
post #21 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by touro1979
I suggest you read this thread to gain insight on what can happen when one partner loves animals and one doesn't. It is about a forum member who left her BF becuause of his viewpoints on animals.
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72343
That's funny, I didn't see you posted this until recently! I'm glad I can be a mentor of some sort!
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