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Bratty children in restaurants -- WWYD? - Page 3

post #61 of 84
Oh the number of times this has happened to me!

When we were kids, going out for dinner was a treat and it didn't happen very often - if my parents went for a nice meal they found a sitter - but we had family living close to us. I get people don't trust people with their kids, but, to be honest if you had paid a sitter and went out you wouldn't want kids acting up near you so why let your kids?

I think part of the problem is that eating out is too much of a regular occurance for some kids that the parents ignore the behaviour as if it was happening in their home and not affecting anyone.

Here is one of my faves that I posted in my LJ a few months back:

We went out for dinner tonight after work at a restaurant we love. So this guy comes in with his two little boys and they are seated beside us. These kids are the worst kids I have ever seen!

They started by holding their cutlery and smacking the table with them screaming 'why are we waiting we are suffocating' until the waitress brought their drinks and took their order and then carried on for 20 minutes until their food came and all the dad said was 'come on buddy don't do that'.

Then their mum turns up and gives them chocolate so they get even more hyper. The kid threw his cutlery, the ketchup and other condiments etc on the floor and they told him that it 'wasn't a nice thing to do'. Kid then sticks out leg and trips up waitress carrying hot food - dad laughs and does nothing to help waitress or tell off kid.

In the mean time the younger one did the worst poop I have ever smelt (yeah I know babies will do that!!) BUT they didn't change him because 'the diapers are in the truck and I can't be bothered to get them' according to the dad and the mum just rolled her eyes! So smell creeps around restaurant for next 30 mins or so while people are trying to eat.

So we carry on trying to ignore them and next thing he gets the bottle of ketchup and squirts ketchup across my shirt as well as woman at table behind him and passing waitress and waitress asks parents to control him and the mum says to me 'oh sorry, you know how kids can be'.

Then he threw his toy on my plate, trying to keep my temper I just put it on the table near him and he threw it again I am now covered not only with kitchup but with splashes of my soup and the sauce from my meal from the toy landing right on my plate as I eat. So we asked the waitress to box our food and get us the bill and the kid squirted ketchup on her back as she left our table. Parents say nothing - except tell kid that now his toy is covered in my food he can't play with it kid is screaming as I leave.

In the mean time 4 other tables had left and the parents had done nothing to control their kids.
post #62 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by icklemiss21
Oh the number of times this has happened to me!

When we were kids, going out for dinner was a treat and it didn't happen very often - if my parents went for a nice meal they found a sitter - but we had family living close to us. I get people don't trust people with their kids, but, to be honest if you had paid a sitter and went out you wouldn't want kids acting up near you so why let your kids?

I think part of the problem is that eating out is too much of a regular occurance for some kids that the parents ignore the behaviour as if it was happening in their home and not affecting anyone.

Here is one of my faves that I posted in my LJ a few months back:

We went out for dinner tonight after work at a restaurant we love. So this guy comes in with his two little boys and they are seated beside us. These kids are the worst kids I have ever seen!

They started by holding their cutlery and smacking the table with them screaming 'why are we waiting we are suffocating' until the waitress brought their drinks and took their order and then carried on for 20 minutes until their food came and all the dad said was 'come on buddy don't do that'.

Then their mum turns up and gives them chocolate so they get even more hyper. The kid threw his cutlery, the ketchup and other condiments etc on the floor and they told him that it 'wasn't a nice thing to do'. Kid then sticks out leg and trips up waitress carrying hot food - dad laughs and does nothing to help waitress or tell off kid.

In the mean time the younger one did the worst poop I have ever smelt (yeah I know babies will do that!!) BUT they didn't change him because 'the diapers are in the truck and I can't be bothered to get them' according to the dad and the mum just rolled her eyes! So smell creeps around restaurant for next 30 mins or so while people are trying to eat.

So we carry on trying to ignore them and next thing he gets the bottle of ketchup and squirts ketchup across my shirt as well as woman at table behind him and passing waitress and waitress asks parents to control him and the mum says to me 'oh sorry, you know how kids can be'.

Then he threw his toy on my plate, trying to keep my temper I just put it on the table near him and he threw it again I am now covered not only with kitchup but with splashes of my soup and the sauce from my meal from the toy landing right on my plate as I eat. So we asked the waitress to box our food and get us the bill and the kid squirted ketchup on her back as she left our table. Parents say nothing - except tell kid that now his toy is covered in my food he can't play with it kid is screaming as I leave.

In the mean time 4 other tables had left and the parents had done nothing to control their kids.
Thats incredible. I would have soooooooo told off the entire family AFTER I collected cash from the parents to replace my shirt.
post #63 of 84
Thread Starter 
Rockcat -- if I'd been there, I think the parents might have had to replace their KID. lmao
post #64 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vibiana
Rockcat -- if I'd been there, I think the parents might have had to replace their KID. lmao
Ok, so I was being nice.
post #65 of 84
Wow Rockcat I am speechless.

I wish I would have been there. Oh yeah.
post #66 of 84
After seeing the way the parents behaved towards all the things they had done I knew it was pointless - not worth the argument.

Funny I seen this thread today because we ate there again last night for the first time in the months since this incident.
post #67 of 84
If some kid squirted ketchup on me, oh my!!! I can't even imagine what I would do. Wow. I've had kids try to trip me and I always say something to them, but I've never had parents think tripping is acceptable (although my husband has had that happen to him several times and the parents got really snippy). I would have demanded the money for a new work shirt, since it's pretty impossible to get ketchup out of a white shirt and gotten my manager.
post #68 of 84
Well I was eating not working and my shirt was black so I wasn't *that* bothered - the waitress I could tell was getting very annoyed but hadn't said anything to them either, they wear shirts supplied by the restaurant, she had a clean one on when I paid so I guess they just gave her one to change into.

I guess she realised they were a lost cause too.
post #69 of 84
I believe this is exactly why these types of things keep happening.
Because no one does anything about it.
Whether it helped or not, I would have embarassed the parents of that child, I would have demanded a free meal and let the management know in no uncertain terms that their inability to provide a peaceful dining experience was unacceptable. I would have told them I would never be back and I would tell all my friends not to go there also.
People have to stand up for what is right.
post #70 of 84
I had actually complained to the parents regarding the noise and the ketchup - but they barely acknowledged me - the waitress was quite aware of it (although she wasn't their waitress) and didn't do much.

I did write to head office and complain, more about the staff not doing anything as other tables had left as well without finishing their meals. We got $50 of vouchers which is what we used for dinner the other night. But it had been 2-3 months since we went there because we didn't want a repeat of it.

However they do have a new manager and someone at work said they had put in a special area for families near a play area on the other side of the bar so we tried it and it was as good as it always had been before this visit.

I don't think its up to the management of the restaurant to control children acting that badly - personally I would not let my children out in pubic acting like that - and its obvious that it was not a learning to behave exercise as the parents did nothing.

I honestly believe that many of these problems stem from parents coddling their children too much as well as not being able to discipline their children. With myself and my sister we were punished for bad behaviour, with my little sister she would threaten to call the police if they even looked at her - so parents cannot discipline them. At the same time however, the children are being forced to grow up too quickly but wrapped in cotton wool and so can not react properly to situations.
post #71 of 84
No, it's not up to mgmt to control children acting that badly, but it IS up to mgmt to politely request that the parents control their children's behavior that is disrupting the dining experience of the majority of the patrons or they (the parents and children) will be asked to leave.

Never mind that such things as children attempting to trip up wait staff is dangerous. If they drop a hot tray on a patron it's not the parent of the child who will be sued.
post #72 of 84
Once children are ALLOWED to get the upper hand and have the control the parents might as well just give up and shoot themselves IMO. (just kidding, but barely)

No WAY would a child of mine control my life. If I was arrested for giving him a good spanking, then so be it I would be arrested.
post #73 of 84
Parents are scared of their kids because of possible legal ramifications. Or they are more concerned with being the child's "friend" than they are with actually raising a well-adjusted and productive member of society. That's just stupid. Yes, it is illegal to beat a child, as it should be, but it is NOT illegal to discipline them. Kids are smarter than people give them credit for, and they are also capable of manipulating the heck out of their parents. Parents aren't willing to take control of their children and be the bad guy. That is the responsibility of the parent, without a doubt.

But, as Cindy said, it is the restaurant manager's responsibility to ensure a pleasant atmosphere for the majority of their patrons. If I were a manager, I would rather ask one family to leave and lose them as a patron than to lose 10 other tables as patrons.
post #74 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
If I were a manager, I would rather ask one family to leave and lose them as a patron than to lose 10 other tables as patrons.
It's the good ol' 80/20 rule: 80% of the problems are caused by 20% of the people -- let the 20% go to the competitition -- you don't need them and their problems.
post #75 of 84
Personally, my dad just looked at us and we behaved ourselves even though I never remember him actually hitting us or anything, he left that up to my mum. But we also knew that no matter how much we might *try* an play up at home - don't even try it when you are out.

Also in this case the kids had so little regard for others that it was obviously the norm (if I had kids and they behavd like that I would be so embarassed and would have thrown some $$$ on the table and got them out asap), the loudness etc obviously is coming from somewhere and a parent who will not at least say something to the kid isn't going to care much about a manager.

But after years of watching customers in my parents bars/restaurants I have come to the conclusion that sometimes it is just better for managers to ignore it, make the other customers as happy as poss and not approach people and make it into a bigger scene.

I remember a customer in my dad's bar who was very drunk and had her kids there (just dropped off by her husband who had to go somewhere) who was acting pretty similar - he asked her to leave and she made an even huger scene and started throwing plates & glasses at people - yes an isolated incident - but when the parents don't have the decency to at least semi control the kids - why would they pay attention to a manager politely asking them to leave. And personally, I wouldn't bring the police in to escort a family out for being disruptive.
post #76 of 84
Quite often spanking is really the only effective way to get through to an unruly child. I know I'm going to have PC-ers screaming the place down at me for saying so, but if you had a child like the kind of child I was, you'd agree with me! lol...

Mum tells this good story about my brother; when he was about 3 he went into the study and pulled all of Dad's books out of the bookcase onto the ground. Mum found him and scolded him, and put them all back. Five minutes later he turned around and did it again. She repeated the scolding and put them back. This happened FIVE TIMES. She was really trying to be patient! Eventually he got a smack on the leg. He stopped. She had tried everything else short of tying the little tyke up. Is he deeply emotionally scarred? I don't think so....
post #77 of 84
I think there is a big difference between a smack for being bad and abusing your child - its just a pity the area in between is so blurred. I know my nephew gets a spank on the ass when he is bad - its the only thing that stops him, my sister can tell him off until she is blue in the face and he doesn't care.

But on the other hand my mum is forced (as a teacher) to report any 'abuse' to child services - and the terms of the 'abuse' outlined in her school handbook are very loose which means every time a child is disciplined its either mental or physical abuse.

As children we were sent to a corner to face a wall while other children played etc - but this emotionally scars children. My mum started using a different coloured chair that the child had to sit on so everyone could she that s/he was naughty - again emotionally scars the child - so what are people to do? I am kind of torn between seeing that some laws make it impossible (or seem impossible) to effectively discipline your children but at the same time - I see what these kids are growing up into and am afraid of the future.
post #78 of 84
rant-

Gaahh! I worked tonight and was making my way to the bar with a tray full of three soups (180 plus degree soups!), plus a salad bowl and two things of breadsticks. What happens? Two little brats run right into me! Thank God I had good control over that tray. I couldn't even find their parents. I believe they were two sections away. I can't believe people let their kids do this stuff. I'm trying to balance a tray full of a lot of food on one hand and little kids are running into me at full speed!

Another server had a kid run into her tonight and she spilled spaghetti all over some lady's shirt, which of course the company has to pay for.

On a more positive note, I had a table today with a little 5 year old boy who was so polite and sweet. That kid was awesome.
post #79 of 84
Ickle, I don't understand how you can say making a child stand in the corner with his nose to the wall is emotionally damaging?

Also, I heartily disagree with ignoring rotten children's behavior.

I WOULD bring the police into it if that is what it takes.

That is why these things happen because they are ALLOWED to happen and good people suck it up and do nothing.

We need to take the world back from obliviot parents.
post #80 of 84
I don't understand it either - but that is the reason my mum has been given to not do it in her classroom, this is coming from the government not me, I should get copies of her teachers handbook for you makes good reading (although in a comedy sort of way).

Thats why she started making them sit on a different colour chair. Their chairs are red to match their uniforms, so she took a spare black coloured chair from the music room for naughty children and she got in trouble because the naughiest kid happens to be black and his mother thought it was racist. So she bought an orange one and the school told her she couldn't use it because it was emotionally scarring
post #81 of 84
Holy Cow Ickle, I feel so sorry for your mother.
The schools are total morons IMO.
What is she supposed to do, just let them run wild?
UN-flipping Believable.
post #82 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv
Holy Cow Ickle, I feel so sorry for your mother.
The schools are total morons IMO.
What is she supposed to do, just let them run wild?
UN-flipping Believable.
Pretty much!

Shes having a hard time this year because she has a really bad class - she has triplets in her class two boys and a girl who feel the need to protect their sister from everything from other kids giving her 'dirty looks' to sitting too close to the window... they are so bad and have hurt 6 children since September - but because of all the restrictions on punishing them - the worst she is allowed to do is write their names on the board and inform the headteacher who calls in their parents and explains why they shouldn't pick up other children by their hair etc

The list of things that she can not do spans 4-5 pages of her handbook. And there isn't many punishments a teacher would use on a 5-6 year old anyway. But the fact that these children act like that at 5 or 6 is a good indicator that the parents do not punish them either.
post #83 of 84
Ok let me just tell you, I could not wait till I reached 100 posts so that I could comment on this. First of all let me pretense all this by saying I have no kids, just a neice and nephew, who by the way, can be brats at times, so I'm not judging, just giving my opinion.

My pet peeve is parents that do not discipline their children. Spare the rod, spoil the child, and i'm not even that religious now, but that's straight from the Bible. I cannot STAND this new age parenting stuff, because this is what it's leading to. All these crazy, no manners kids, disrupting others, and the thing is it's not even their fault... these parents just sit there. My mother would have given me a good slap, all I had to do was see the hand go up and I was good. And my dad was intimidating so I never did anything bad with him.

I as well, have a temper, and get pretty fired up and let that mother come at me like that, and it would have been finished outside. I'm just saying, that's ridiculous. If you can't raise your children to act like people and not animals, then you don't deserve to go out to eat with them.

Woo, I'll get off the soapbox now... always wanted to use this smiley, haha.
post #84 of 84
Welcome Shiraz. I agree with you totally.
Our society has been given over to the juveniles. Isn't that horrendous.

I know what you mean, those first 100 posts seem like they take forever so you can get here to the good stuff. Ha ha.
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