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post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Hi, folks.

As you know, I've been going thru' a divorce and I've been talking about it here on the Cat Site. It was probably an error in judgement, since things on the Internet can come back to haunt you years later, which to me is one good reason for using an alias. Only this time it didn't take years.

Yesterday I had quite an argument with Jim. He began by calling me up and telling me that I lied to him. He said I asked for the key back to keep him out not to give it to our daughter, and that I always intended to get a lawyer.

Well, I did lie about the key, but it had to do with the fact that I am uncomfortable with the idea of aomeone coming into my home when I am not here, or even the possibility that he could just walk in while I was here, maybe sleeping or something. That is perhaps my deepest fear about living alone, that someone will come into my home uninvited. I have no concerns about him taking stuff, I just get creeped out by the idea. And it's not just him, I wouldn't like the apartment staff coming in here either. Our daughter does need a key, and I haven't given it to her yet because we need a keychain for it. You can't give a 5 year-old a loose key.

I did not lie about the lawyer. I didn't decide until recently that I really do need one, though I have talked about it for a long time. I have even made statements that seemed pretty definitive, but my thought was that if a lawyer just read over the documents that would probably be the extent of the involvement. I don't know if that's true any more, but it was my expectation.

So he called up and accused me of lying and I thought, he figured it out. He's a smart guy. If his mind isn't occupied with other stuff, I suppose he could easily have reached that conclusion on his own. So I owned up to it and we talked about some other stuff.

This morning he called me to apologize. He came here to the Cat Site and looked around for things I'd posted. I suppose I should have expected that. He used to go trolling thru' my e-mail to see what I was up to. (boundaries, boundaries!) He asked me what the name of the site was and I just told him without thinking about it. And, you know, this IS a public forum. It's kind of like chatting with a friend at the mall. It might be a private conversation but anybody could listen in. He's upset about what I said, but as they say, eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves.

Anyway, just to let you all know, I've really appreciated your support in this, but I won't be posting any more divorce stuff here. I might pm a few of you, since you've offered and I can still use an ear. And it's okay in some ways (though I'm not happy about it) because I do really need to be diverted and this site is certainly good for that!

Thank you all for your kindness and understanding as I am going thru' this stuff!
post #2 of 9
Sunlion - that is horrible that he would invade this space which you rightly think of as yours! Anytime you need an ear just pm me - I'll be here for you as I am sure we all will.
post #3 of 9
I'm sorry, Sunlion. I know how much it helps to vent in a place like this where you're surrounded by 'friends'. I just wanted to throw in my support, with the open invitation to PM me if you would like to.
post #4 of 9
Interesting. I would think that everything he read here would make him realize that you hadn't intended to get a lawyer at first and help him understand your feelings and what you are going through with this divorce. Oh well. Good luck and, of course, I'm always open to listening to you if you need, as I'm sure everyone else is! One idea might be to download MSN messenger or one of the others. It's a great way to converse, and nothing is ever saved, recorded, or retrievable.
post #5 of 9
He may of read your posts, but he only heard what he wanted to hear IMO. I am sorry he did not respect boundaries enough to stay out of here, but as you said, it is a public forum.

You know how to reach me Allison, anytime.
post #6 of 9
Allison, anytime you want to talk, just PM me.
post #7 of 9
Allison - count me in on that private conversation if you need to or want to! I am soooo sorry that your husband read this things. It is a valuable lesson, that I for one will remember. I am sorry!
post #8 of 9
Sounds like he was looking for a reason to get angry with you. sounds like a case of paranoia to me.I don't feel bad for him. it's what he gets for sticking his nose into your business. I am here too. pm me whenever and I'll listen..
post #9 of 9
Just wanted to give you my support too! I'm sorry that he felt he needed to see what you were talking and confiding with us about. I'm sure he has confided with certain people about this too. I have to agree with MA that he only heard what he wanted to. PM me anytime, I have it to where it shows whenever I am on the site.
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