Would you be ok with a used wedding ring?

Originally Posted by lizch6699

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Here's another question to ponder too... My mom gets a new 'wedding ring' every couple years or so and I think she has at least 2 or 3. Again this is my personal opinion, but I wouldn't want a whole new ring because what's the point of having an original ring?? If anything I would update my current wedding ring rather than to buy a new ring because there's not much sentimental value. This is a long way in my 'future' but if I do upgrade my future wedding ring I would have the birthstones of my 'future' children put into it.

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I personally don't like the idea of a new wedding ring. Seems like the original should last a lifetime, like the marriage! Unless like my sister did, you spill mercury from a broken thermometer on it, and the gold is destroyed. Or it no longer fits, then you could wear a new ring, with the old one as a necklace.

Or dh lost his first wedding ring shoveling manure in the barn! Finally, we got him a new band, and much more attractive and expensive than the original.

As for upgrading to add kids birthstones, I don't like that idea. Although the kids are certainly a part of the family, the relationship between husband and wife is to be cherished, whether you have kids or not. And when you do have kids, you need to be extra careful to nurture that marriage relationship. Getting a separate ring, or necklace (like I have), with kids birthstones is great-but not incorporated into the wedding ring.

What matters most about your ring is how you feel about it. If a pawn shop ring makes you feel bad, it is no bargain to him! Get a used couch and a second hand car to save money, but if you want a new ring, get a new ring.

Part of a sucessful marriage is getting needs met. If you need a new ring to feel valued, then be sure he understands. If you cannot have a new diamond because of human rights issues, he needs to understand that too.

Originally Posted by lizch6699

Me and my boyfriend were having this discusion because he was thinking about buying xmas presents at a pawn shop. Some how this turned into talk about buying a wedding ring from a pawn shop. Now personally I don't want a used ring for my wedding ring. If it's an everyday ring or jewlery I don't care but a wedding ring is something that I feel should be personalized to the person you're buying it for. Plus I don't want a ring that is coming from a broken marriage, it's a bad omen (maybe i'm just superstious though). So he made the arguement that he could get a used ring 2x the size for the same price at a pawn shop. I said that I didn't care, I'd rather have a new ring that's 1/2 the size.

So what does everyone else out there think? Do you men think that us women are asking to much by wanting a new ring? Would you women prefer a smaller ring that's new or a larger ring that's used?

Edit: We're not planning to get married any time soon but it was such a good discusion that I wanted other's opinions too

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I wouldn't mind if my ring was new or used, as long as it was what I wanted. The way I see it, unless you have one custom-made, it's the same thing: the man sees it (or woman as the case may be) and thinks the recipient will love it.

I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't scratched or dirty. The bigger (and closer to colorless and flawless), the better! If he finds one that I'd like in a pawn shop for half the price, I'd consider him very lucky.

Maybe it's because I'm not very superstitious but I'd be fine with a second hand ring from a pawn shop just so long as the ring was nice and fit my style. Now I would be very offended if a man gave me a ring he bought for someone else. That is tacky, he could just sell that ring or keep it for himself. I just can't see spending all that money on a ring when there are so many other things the money could be spent on that would benefit both of us more...like a house or savings for retirement. Nope I'm not very romantic.

That being said I am another in the boat of not wanting a diamond. One they are way too expensive and two the whole where did it come from thing and what did the sale of this diamond finance. And three diamonds are much like roses, they are so standard anymore. I'd rather get tulips and a cititrine which I love and shows that he knows my tastes rather than what everyone else is getting.

I first read this post and didn't respond. I though about it for a while and this is what I came up with.
1. Confession: I'm a show off. I have to be better than everyone and have better things than everyone. I know it sounds horrible but I've been like this ever since I was little. I would like a bigger ring if my hubby could aford it. Unfortunately we are poor and I don't get a lot of flashy things. So I guess it all depends on the person. If having expensive things brings you enjoyment I would probably consider a ring from a pawn shop.

2. You really don't know if you buy the ring from the store that noone has tried it on or had it for a while and then traded it in or just returned it. When you buy jewerly online like eBay or other discount stores you really don't know if the ring is brand new.

The bottom line it all depends on the person. For you obviously it's a big deal to have smth that noone else had. For others it's a diff story.

you know what, recently I decided to get bf a very expensive xmas gift because we are trapped in this expensive gift cycle. Anyhow, it's a piece of musical equipment. i was able to find it for about $100 cheaper in a scratch and dent section and thought that it was great, even though it was still really pricy I was getting a discount. Anyhow I brought it up to him and he flipped! He'd rather not have it then have the scratch and dent, and he'd rather pay me the extra money than have me buy it like that. (and it's not something that is pretty, or is seen, it's like something to enhance the live sound so no one will see it but the band).. (he's not a jerk btw, not at all.)

I, on the other hand, dont care because I'm a cheapskate. I want him to be cheap with me because otherwise I feel like I'm wasting. If he had gotten me a pawn shop ring I wouldnt care in the least. I don't believe in bad luck coming from a ring.

I would want my own ring. I don't mind hand-me-downs on most things, but my wedding ring, I'd want to be for me only.

I would be okay with a ring that was from family on either side, but not one that was pawned. Buying one from an estate sale, or an auction though is a bit different (for those not in the know, the really good and expensive pieces get snapped up out of pawn by auction houses and antique jewellers)beyond which, unless you've a degree in gemology or are fairly knowledgable, you can never be sure what you're getting through a Pawn Shop

Also :re changing the ring. I've recently lost 40 lbs and well, my ring is too big. We're planning on getting us both new rings for our anniversary next year ( and mine will be a little different, with a stone in.

and about diamonds. I specifically asked for no diamonds because I don't think it's worth it to pay so much for something that essentially looks like glass, is common (did you know that diamonds are actually a very common stone?) and is a cause for civil unrest for a whole continent. As an advertiser, one of the key examples we learn about in school for creating an image for an everyday item is through the example set by DeBeers, basically the start of the diamond industry. Get a stone with some more personality, like a topaz or garnet in a unique or antique style setting.

My engagement ring is an opal, and I truly love it because it really suits my personality.

Originally Posted by turtlecat

My engagement ring is an opal, and I truly love it because it really suits my personality.

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U ROCK!

I totally agree that Diamonds are played out. I think diamond mania is mainly present in US. Princess Di's engagement ring was a saphfire I believe. I truly believe that engagement ring has to reflect personality!!!

I'm not sure how I would feel if my husband had gotten my ring from a pawn shop.

Anyway... one of the reasons why diamonds are great for engagement rings is because they are the hardest stone available.

That being said, my engagment ring is a sapphire. Sapphires fall right behind diamonds in regards to hardness, and therefore, make for great every-day wearing rings. Additionally, sapphires are my favorite stone. My husband picked out my ring, all on his own, more than a year before he asked me to marry him and before he moved from IL (his homestate) to PA (my homestate) to be with me. (=

Hot topic huh ladies? Lol I had never heard anything about the diamond industry before until I posted this. *yikes* I do like having rings with my birthstone but I'm not sure if I would want it for me wedding ring. I guess it's probably because my parents have always bought me something with my birthstone in it when they buy me jewlery, so it would feel kind of strange for me. I think it was this site (I posted this question on another site too) where someone said that whatever makes that particular person happy is what they should do. My boyfriend knows that if we do get married, I'd like a new ring so I guess as long as both of us are happy it doesn't matter much. He said he'd rather have a big ring so I'll get his at a discount place lol

I would never get a pawned ring.

First, I'm not married. LOL Maybe that's why I might be okay with a pawned ring, IF it was something really unusual and old fashioned.

I wear my late mother's wedding and engagement set on my right hand. People compliment me on it because it's a fairly large diamond, at least compared with the ones you see today (it's over 60 years old).

Plenty of couples who pay good money for brand new rings break up after a few years. If you find something special in a pawn shop, why not?

Actually, my wedding ring is a "used" one. It's not from a pawn shop, though. Someone traded it in for a bigger ring. It doesn't bother me a bit. When we went shopping for wedding rings I didn't want to spend a fortune on jewelry. I had planned to get just a plain band. But, we stopped into a going out of business sale and they had this gorgeous ring at a really, really low price. It looks like it was made to go with my engagement ring (which he bought new from a different jeweler), and I really love it. It even has 12 diamonds, which my husband has decided represent the 12 years we were together before we got married.

One of my friends at work was given an engagement ring from a pawn shop... that's a CZ and she doesn't know it. He was just being a cheap --bleep--, told my hubby about it and several years later she still doesn't know. They're not married yet and just had their first kid. As far as I know there are no immediate plans to get married, he won't commit, and I see that fake ring from the pawn shop as a symbol of that. I'm sure it would cause a huge rift between them if she ever found out, and I'm sure eventually she will.

I went with my DH to pick our rings out new from a jeweler. It is an impressive ring (to me anyway) and although he would've embraced my picking out a more expensive ring even though we couldn't really afford it at the time (he would've made due somehow), I chose this one... a fairly simple three stone diamond with special words inside. My first husband never got me a ring... he cleaned sewer line for a living at the time and found a white topaz ring literally in the c r a p and that's what I got... and that's basically how I was treated in the end. I see the ring, and the extent that your future husband will go to give you what he feels you're worth, very symbolic.

To be honest if my husband bought my wedding ring at a pawn shop it would hurt my feelings because it would make me feel cheap.

So I may be really slow on this one but what does DH mean? Lol I've seen it a few times in this post and at first I thought it meant dead head :-D Woops...

I always use it as "dear hubby"

I would not like it. If money is an issue, I would wear a simple gold band. You can get those under $100 new.

The only time it would bother me that it was used was if he was trying to give me one he had with an ex.

Personally i wouldn't want a wedding ring from a pawn shop but i wouldn't mind having one passed down through the family.