Our wedding was kind of a whole weekend thing. We got married on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. Even though we had it in the area where we live, we had a TON of out-of-town guests. Most of my family and almost all of his family were from out-of-town.
Saturday was our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Our rehearsal dinner was a very casual barbecue at my parents' house and we invited all of the out-of-town guests along with the wedding party.
Sunday was the ceremony and reception. The ceremony was in a park, and the reception was at a banquet hall.
Monday was a post-wedding brunch at my parents' house for all the out-of-towners. Most stopped by before they took off for home.
We did book a block of rooms at a hotel for our out-of-town guests. Fortunately, my mother's in the hotel business so we were able to get a truly fantastic deal at the hotel where she works.
If you're getting reluctance from B&Bs, maybe try a larger hotel. They're probably more equipped to handle a larger group and you'll be able to negotiate a better rate. Or did you intentionally want to hold it someplace small?
I do meeting and event planning as a big part of my job. Where in New Jersey are you going? I can check into venues in some of the resources I have here.