Agent Lucivar, sneaks like shadows: We must gain access to the lair of the sleeping beasts; it is a matter of great urgency. The fate of the world rests upon our shoulders. Do you have the necessary equipment Agent Mog?
Agent Mog, runs like blind camel: Flashlight, Check. Rope ladder, Check. Object of Maximum Propulsion, Check. Great Vocal Magnifier, Check. Jingly bells, Check. Mouthful of food, Crunch.
Agent Luce: You just finished off our rations didnâ€™t you? Those were supposed to last until dawn, ya know.
Agent Mog: Itâ€™s not like it was my fault. I was feeling a bit peckish and the next thing I knew, the rations had jumped right into my mouth. I felt it would be insulting to them if I ignored their great sacrifice.
Agent Luce: Sure, very charitable acts on your part, satisfying your hunger and ending their suffering like that. Alas, there is no time for recriminations, no matter how deserved. We must focus on our goal. Now, may I see the Vocal magnifier please?
Agent Mog: Ooh Oooh, are we going to make catcalls at the unsuspecting neighbors again? That was awesome! Work it Pretty Lady!
Agent Luce: No, dummy. We are attempting to wake the great beasts remember?
Agent Mog: Oh, I have just the thing. Give me the magnifier! *clears throat* â€œSuddenly Seymourrrrrrrr, is standing beside meeeeeeooooowwwwwwwwâ€
Agent Luce: Gahh, we are trying to wake them, not kill them! My ears are bleeding, give me that thing! Ehhh ehhm â€œYOWWWWWWWW YOWWWWWWWâ€
The lair of the sleeping beasts: *Snore*
Agent Luce: What is this? My melodious tenor has failed to provoke a reaction? I am wounded.
Agent Mog: Oh give it up; they probably bought earplugs after the 6 hour medley of show tunes you subjected us all to last week.
Agent Luce: Oh is that how it is?? Get the Object of Maximum Propulsion, right away.
Agent Mog: Okay, now what? How does this work?
Agent Luce: See the little bucket at the end of the catapultâ€¦.I mean object of propulsion? Climb on in.
Agent Mog: Okay, Iâ€™m in position. Now what?
Agent Luce: Now I just pull this lever and send you flying forcefully towards the doorâ€¦.
Agent Mog: Waitâ€¦.What? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Agent Mog: *Stumbling around* Iâ€™m a happy squirrel, Right-O. Where is my basket Mr. Frost? Iâ€™m hunting for the Easter Bunny, he has taken my chocolate cake. He will pay.
Agent Luce: Well, at least the impact didnâ€™t cause a loss of brain function. Itâ€™s down to one last ditch effort, we must make this work. Mog, shine a flashlight onto the knob of opening and come over here.
Agent Mog: Done and Done.
Agent Luce: Now, I need you to jump as high as you can. Try to grab onto the knob.
Agent Mog: *Sproing* Iâ€™m flying!
Agent Luce: Hold on tight and swing yourself back and forth; I will use my brute strength to push on the door. We almost have it Mog, keep swinging!
Agent Mog: Wheeeeeeee, Whoopeeeee, Wow, Wahaaaaa
*The Door slips open and admits our two agents to the Lair*
Agent Luce: Listen closely Mog, this is very important. Once we have scaled the place of beastly resting, you must be very careful not to touch the toes of the sleeping man beast. Man Beast toes are very sensitive and if he awakens we will be forcefully ejected from the Lair.
Agent Mog: Got it, donâ€™t touch the Man Beast toes.
Agent Luce: Iâ€™ve positioned the rope ladder, letâ€™s get to it.
Agent Mog: Yay! We made it!
Agent Luce: Ahh, the taste of sweet success!
Agent Mog: Luce, why does it taste so much like bitter failure?
Agent Luce: Thatâ€™s actually a tangerine altoid. Where did you get that from? Mog, Noooo! Not the toes!
Agent Mog: Nyahhhh, good for biting!
*The Man Beast stirs and Agent Mog is knocked to the far side of the resting place.*
Agent Luce: You have absolutely no short term memory do you?
Agent Mog: Mmmm, toes good. Have what?
Agent Luce: Never mind, we were lucky this time. Do you have the jingly bells tied around yourself? Good, it is time to awaken the She Beast!
The two agents boldly leap upon the sleeping She Beast, howling and jingling all the way.
Mom: Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! What theâ€¦..Babies!
Lucivar: Hi Mom, pet me pet me pet me pet me.
Emmagan: Feed me, Iâ€™m hungry, Iâ€™m starving, I want turkey and cookies and bubblegum and maybe another altoid of bitter failure yummmmmm. Oh and toes!
Lucivar: Under the chin, pet me under the chin. Oooh Oooh, pet my tummy!
Mom: Itâ€™s 4 am on a Saturday and that door was closed! You can stay if you lie down and let me sleep. Crazy kittens.
Man Beast: *Snore*