Playing too rough - out of control!!

Originally Posted by Sweets

As much as its frowned on here...I've used the spray bottle successfully.

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Originally Posted by madpiano

It might be a little late, but have you tried blowing air at him when he plays too rough ? My kitten initally left me looking like I had a fight with a rosebush, every time we were playing. But I kept blowing at his face, every time he bit or scratched and he has stopped now, only patting me with his claws well out the way. He still tries biting, but only carefully. Just as if he would want to check, if he still gets a nasty air blast in his face, if he tries. It's quite funny. It will obviously not help with your other cat, but it might safe your arms, hand and feet.

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starcrossd03 said:

When we try to redirect him, he looks right past his toy to us.QUOTE]

Althugh it sounds like you've probably read a lot of good advice already, for what it's worth, I've had several experiences with overly aggressive cats. Except for one cat I'm convinced was just crazy, I managed to "cure" all of them from the aggression.

IMHO, one way or another, it almost always boils down to overstimulation. Every aggressive cat I've known either never had an opportunity to play with kittens (e.g., he was a stray at an early age), was abused as a kitten, or has an unusually low threshold to overstimulation (think of it as kitty ADD). So I believe that your efforts to "redirect" Bruno's attention to cat toys (or provide stimulation -- as SolarityBengals suggested) is likely only to make matters worse. Until Bruno learns to control his aggression, I would not initiate any play with him. Instead, keep some toys in a basket or hanging for solitary play, and some scratching pads (the cosmic alpine climber is the best I have found for this). Your only interaction should be petting and feeding him (I would postpone grooming for now as well). Initiate petting him often, but as soon as he starts to get aggressive (e.g., backing away from your hand, rolling over and holding his paws up, grabbing you with his paws, or opening his mouth), gently cease all contact and walk away from him (and make sure that all family and visitors do the same). This accomplishes three things. 1) it immediately ceases stimulation when he starts to act up, depriving him of an object for his aggression; 2) it teaches him that he will lose affection when he becomes aggressive, which is a powerful way to teach him appropriate play because at bottom cats want affection more than just about anything else; and 3) perhaps most important, it teaches Bruno that you will respect his boundaries. In my experience a lot of cat aggression towards people stems from a real or perceived inability to control the interaction. Once they learn to trust their people (i.e., that you will stop petting him or holding him when he wants, and that he will not be held "prisoner"), he will no longer feel it necessary to become aggressive. I would exepct this to take at least a couple of weeks to have some effect.

As for his attacks when you walk by, it is either inapproriate play or he is perceiving his space as being invaded. My cat Harry - who constantly seeks attention from me and, unlike most cats, loves to be picked up -- tends to become aggressive when anyone tries to pet him when he is lying down. I can only assume that he feels vulnerable and threatened in that position. I would make a conscious effort to give him a wide berth whenever you walk by. If he tends to place himself in the middle of foot traffic, or if he "hunts" you down, stop two or three feet away from him, Say, "No!" or "Move!" in a deep command, and clap your hands loudly (I am also a fan of the spritzer water bottle, but since you are not likely to carry it at all times, and it makes everything wet, a loud clap is more convenient). Make sure he moves out of the way or ceases his "attack" mode before you continue walking. This worked quite well with my female, Sam, who would sit at the top of the steps, growling, hissing, and striking at anyone that walked by -- especially the other cats (Harry, Reno, and Rocky).

As for Lola, try the loud No and clapping whenever Bruno gets too rough with her, and charge him down (i.e., loudly run toward him clapping and saying No) if he doesn't stop . But be careful to limit this very threatening behavior to times when he is posing a danger to Lola (this will help to communicate how seriously he is misbehaving). Also be careful to act neutrally to split them up unless you are certain that Bruno is misbehaving, rather than that Lola is being overly defensive.

Respect Bruno's alpha position by acknowledging him first, greeting him first, feeding him first, etc, and keeping Lola out of his favorite places. Also, try not to pet Lola in front of him without petting him as well. In addition, my experience has been that it is typical for males (at least the alpha male in the household) to "pounce" on females periodically and that the best companion for a young male cat is an even younger male cat (so young that your alpha male will think of him as his kitten). So one solution might be to find a new home for Lola, and in a few months bring home a 4-8 month male for Bruno to "find" as his kitten.

As for the medication, I would use it as a last resort, primarily because the trauma of giving him a pill may perpetuate the aggression. But in my experience, mild tranquilizers do make cats gentler and more loving. We used them on Sam when we first got her at 4 years old, because she had spent her whole life being defensively aggressive towards other cats, so she wasn't giving my three males a chance. Although it was a long process with her, two years later, she is in love with my alpha cat, Reno, and is making lots of friendly overtures to the other two (trying hard to overcome her initial hostile conduct toward them). I believe the kitty drugs definitely helped her out in the beginning because they tended to make her very affectionate and sort of lovey dovey.

Hope this helps and good luck.

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