I had a boyfriend tell me i spent to much time with my horse. This was when I had first gotten Vixen..and she had been abused. We were working on our bond. He said him or the horse. I told him to hit the road..
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Just had our first fight....
- Thread starter menagerie mama
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Re: "Most of the time when an animal bites a child, it's because of mishandling on the child's part" I have to say from a professional perspective, this is not necessarily true. Most of the bites I have eer treated were due to a strange dog hurting an unsuspecting child who either petted the dog, thinking s.he was friendly or a dog who was not well trained and was food or toy possessive and attacked the child over that issue. That said, children - esp those as young as Kayla - and dogs (and kittiies for that matter) should always be supervised since a child can seriously hurt a kitty or even a small chi. And often, children do inadvertantly hurt animals., all the more reason to watch them!
However, your bf needs to come to some middle ground and you need to work this out or the relationship will not work. I agree with the others. If any man ever suggested I "get rid" of any one of my pets, I would remind him where the door was!!! But if you do want this relationship to continue, you need to talk this iut wioth him or even seerk mediation to ensure he understands the importance of animals and how animals and children need special care!!
However, your bf needs to come to some middle ground and you need to work this out or the relationship will not work. I agree with the others. If any man ever suggested I "get rid" of any one of my pets, I would remind him where the door was!!! But if you do want this relationship to continue, you need to talk this iut wioth him or even seerk mediation to ensure he understands the importance of animals and how animals and children need special care!!
I can't say anything that hasn't already been said. If Mark is this controlling and this uncompromising over Pedro, imagine what he'll be like 10 years down the line when you have a joint mortgage/children and can't just walk away. How are you going to agree on issues regarding your childrens upbringing when he won't even listen to your point of view? Do you want to marry someone who gets stroppy and won't even talk to you when you disagree? He's a grown man, not a 3 year old who can get what he wants by throwing a tantrum and sulking.
You've been dating for 10 weeks, and I can perfectly understand how that time has been wonderful. But, when you first meet someone you tend to portray a side of yourself that you want the other person to see, a good side. Seems to me like his other side, his real side, is now beginning to show.
For me it would be a simple choice, nothing in the world would make me give Max or Alfie away. Any problems they may have in the future will be worked through together, not passed onto someone else when they become 'inconvenient'.
You've been dating for 10 weeks, and I can perfectly understand how that time has been wonderful. But, when you first meet someone you tend to portray a side of yourself that you want the other person to see, a good side. Seems to me like his other side, his real side, is now beginning to show.
For me it would be a simple choice, nothing in the world would make me give Max or Alfie away. Any problems they may have in the future will be worked through together, not passed onto someone else when they become 'inconvenient'.
If my bloke told me to get rid of Rosie and Sophie i'd open the door and hand him his coat because they were there a lot longer than him
Thankfully he likes them
Thankfully he likes them
I was bitten by a dog as a child and although it hurt like hell it didn't put me off. I was at a holiday park and was stroking this lovely dog, who had been walking in the hills all day and was shattered, and I accidentally stood on his foot so he clamped down on my arm.
I still havent made up my mind whether this was acceptable or not or whether the dog should be punished... My parents did the right thing and did not make a fuss about it, and just treated it like any other injury id ever had.
My step-mother was also bitten by a dog when she was younger and my little bro and sis (3 and 5) have an incredable fear of animals. They came to stay when Sleeves was 3 months and if he so much as looked at Matthew he was screaming. My step mum was saying, 'oh well I can understand why he's scared, a big dog licked him when he was 6 months old'. So her behaviour has instilled in the kids that they should be terrified of animals. It insenses me.
If the dog goes, the little girl is going to get a complex about animals. I know you're in love but if you give in to this, he's going to get the idea that he can tell you what to do. Start as you mean to go on...
Lauren
I still havent made up my mind whether this was acceptable or not or whether the dog should be punished... My parents did the right thing and did not make a fuss about it, and just treated it like any other injury id ever had.
My step-mother was also bitten by a dog when she was younger and my little bro and sis (3 and 5) have an incredable fear of animals. They came to stay when Sleeves was 3 months and if he so much as looked at Matthew he was screaming. My step mum was saying, 'oh well I can understand why he's scared, a big dog licked him when he was 6 months old'. So her behaviour has instilled in the kids that they should be terrified of animals. It insenses me.
If the dog goes, the little girl is going to get a complex about animals. I know you're in love but if you give in to this, he's going to get the idea that he can tell you what to do. Start as you mean to go on...
Lauren
People like that really, really, really, really, really
irritate me.
Not only does he think animals are just property, but he can't communicate, is stubborn and closed-minded, rude, selfish, and immature. I wouldn't trust him around my animals because it sounds like he has a hot temper and besides this whole dog thing, it seems like he's spoiling his daughter or at least not teaching her how to behave. All of those things would annoy me to no end.
If you lived together, I would suggest finding a home for your doggy because they are so fragile and it sounds like this little girl won't even get to learn how to handle animals because of her father. Since you aren't living with him, I don't see any reason you can't keep him. He's saying it's "the kid over the dog" but you might need to decide if it's him or the dog, unless you can talk some sense into him.
I know it must be hard for you.
You obviously love your boyf and your dog.
If you lived together, I would suggest finding a home for your doggy because they are so fragile and it sounds like this little girl won't even get to learn how to handle animals because of her father. Since you aren't living with him, I don't see any reason you can't keep him. He's saying it's "the kid over the dog" but you might need to decide if it's him or the dog, unless you can talk some sense into him.
I know it must be hard for you.
Sorry about the touchy situation you are in...But a 19 month old should never be left alone with a dog under any circumstances (let alone a chihuahua)!!
What was he thinking?? This is a case of a bad situation going to worse.
Trying another perspective here... Hypothetically, if I percieved that my BF's dog hurt my cat, I would not allow them to be near each other again. I can see how your BF would be protective in the same sense of his daughter.
IMO, at BEST, you need to wait until Kayla is older to re-introduce her to your dog.
HOWEVER -
As you and others have said, your BF has a very poor perception of how to care for animals. It is also very likely that he will NEVER love animals the way you do. This is a recipe for conflict.
IMO, at WORST, your BF is a control freak (as others have said). Control freaks many times become abusers.
IMO, at BEST, you need to wait until Kayla is older to re-introduce her to your dog.
HOWEVER -
As you and others have said, your BF has a very poor perception of how to care for animals. It is also very likely that he will NEVER love animals the way you do. This is a recipe for conflict.
IMO, at WORST, your BF is a control freak (as others have said). Control freaks many times become abusers.
hehe why thank you. Vixen never liked him anyways. LOL..she however ADORES Steve..even though he is scared of "the big bad vixen" all 13.3hh of her lolOriginally Posted by Purr
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white cat lover said:
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CyberKitten said:
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I've had a day to think about this (still no phone call, by the way) and decided I need to hold my ground. Mark never actually said I have to get rid of Pedro, he just said he had enough of him and wouldn't let him out of his kennel, and his behavior is unacceptable and all his friends ask why Pedro is still around. (Hint hint, get rid of him, hint hint) I don't see how we can NOT have a compromise here. There are plenty of ways to deal with this situation. It's the whole fact that he refused to listen to my reasoning for teaching Kayla the right way to handle animals that bugs me. I realize I really can't bend to him on this one. I mean, truth be told, Pedro doesn't run around attacking her on a whim. He ONLY does something when he's being mishandled. If he maliciously attacked her for no reason, I'd have something different to say about it. What if we don't teach her this and someday she goes up to an actually vicious dog and mishandles him because she was never taught, and gets seriously attacked? How will Mark feel for not teaching her right from wrong? Kayla is a smart girl, she can learn. Pedro can learn too. MARK is the one I'm having the problem teaching. Pretty sad, you can teach a 19 month old easier than a 36 year old! How do you teach someone not to think of animals as objects? And, like it's been said, if I bend here, what's next, I'll have to get rid of the cats or my other dog? Not happening. Some of you have said it's an easy decision, just dump him, but I do love Mark, he is almost perfect otherwise and I'm very happy with him in every other aspect, so I'd really rather try to work something out instead of just dumping him. In the meantime, do you think I should call him or wait for the stubborn king to call me? If I call, what should I say?
Well, It seems to me you've known the dog longer...Originally Posted by menagerie mama
Almost 10 weeks. Not very long, but they have been, up until today, the happiest 10 weeks of my life.
An afterthought...
Since Kayla and Pedro are relatively "new" to each other, and she's constantly on him, cause Im sure he's little and cute, and who can resist? But PROBABLY what will happen is that when the novelty wears off for Kayla, she will pay him less attention, therefore giving Pedro the breathing space he needs, the two will most likely figure each other out, and grow more comfortable around each other. PLUS she'll be getting older and easier to reason with (I have dealt with little kids and little animals, try to use the same words over and over, I always stressed GENTLE) Just a thought...good luck, keep your chin up!
Since Kayla and Pedro are relatively "new" to each other, and she's constantly on him, cause Im sure he's little and cute, and who can resist? But PROBABLY what will happen is that when the novelty wears off for Kayla, she will pay him less attention, therefore giving Pedro the breathing space he needs, the two will most likely figure each other out, and grow more comfortable around each other. PLUS she'll be getting older and easier to reason with (I have dealt with little kids and little animals, try to use the same words over and over, I always stressed GENTLE) Just a thought...good luck, keep your chin up!
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Yes, he seems perfect in every other way because you've only been together 10 weeks. Everything is always good in the first six months of a relationship! But I feel very strongly that if he is this stubborn and inflexible - and downright mean to you by not calling - then it's a sign of deeper things and that he will not turn out to be as perfect as you expect.
You never know, if you do hold your ground and dump him (which is what I would do, having been in your exact situation before, and I stayed and it got SO bad....) he might wake up and realise what a nasty person he is being.
If he loves you he would not be treating you like this. Period. End of story. And it sounds to me as though he's treating you the way he would treat an animal - no compassion, no understanding, and no compromise.
See you later, buddy, IMO!
You never know, if you do hold your ground and dump him (which is what I would do, having been in your exact situation before, and I stayed and it got SO bad....) he might wake up and realise what a nasty person he is being.
If he loves you he would not be treating you like this. Period. End of story. And it sounds to me as though he's treating you the way he would treat an animal - no compassion, no understanding, and no compromise.
See you later, buddy, IMO!
