ever did something you know you shouldn't do but said what the heck

I won't go in to details about this to much But I have done something i dont know if i should continue doing but some where way back on a post I had talked about somethings going on with me and ron my husband, I think Im so tired of so much right now that what ever will be will be,and if it takes this for something to happen then so be it

Im tired of been lonley over the past eight years im tired of saying everything is ok between us when its really not,Im not getting any younger and i do not know how much more i can take For the first time in eight years i reliaze what im missing in life and that is for someone to hold you and kiss you and it didn't go any further then that,please dont look at me in shame im not a bad person im just lonley and lost sorry to lay this on you guys but i just need someone to talk to cause i can not talk to know one about this except you

we need more details..........
so where did you meet this person and what's he like?

I dont think you should have to be lonely and in a bad relationship.
Life is too short to spend it with the wrong person imo.

You go girl!!!

well, I'm not sure exactly what is going on but from what you said... I'd say that you should be honest with yourself and do what you need to do to be happy.

But I think you should be honest with your husband too. If you're really sure you cannot be happy with him, tell him. Don't drag things longer than you have to... it wont make things easier for you or for him.
If you think you can still work on the relationship with your husband, then talk it over with him.

Good luck!

to all of the above. Do what's right for you....you deserve to be happy!

I'd have to say I agree with what Marie said.

No life is to short to be unhappy that's for sure. Just make sure you are willing to give up what you have before you make a mistake, Because no one can really make you happy but you. And I truely beleive no one has the right to ruin soomeone elses life by making them unhappy. I am a beliver in Dr Phil and he says you need to earn your way out of a relationship, by trying to make it work and if you have tried everything then do what you need to do by making yourself happy, Good Luck hope you figure it all out.

Rhonda, you owe it to the man you married to let him know you are unhappy. There is no shame in seeking outside counselors to help you out. Many times couple start to take each other for granted or fall into a rut.

As someone that has been cheated on... I think you should tell your husband ASAP! When my boyfriend of 4 years left me it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me- but I will NEVER forgive him for being SO deceitful!

Rhonda, I think it's very important that you try to communicate with your husband over this. Not necessarily what you've done, but that you think the state of your marriage has reached a point where you are thinking about other things.

I think that you really need to communicate with him - even though I'm sure you've tried in the past - and tell him what point things have got to. It's very easy to make a mistake that you'll always regret when you are unhappy and feeling like you desperately need a change. If you never take any advice from anyone, please take this advice, and act NOW before things get to a point of no return.

I know exactly what it is like to be in a lonely, unhappy marriage. My husband eventually had an affair and we got divorced. It wasn't nice, but I'm glad it was him, not me. It gave us both the out we needed, and we are both happy with other people now. But before I found out about the affair we had already decided to separate - because we made the effort to talk about how bad things had got.

You need to do this too, because if you think you are unhappy now, it's nothing compared to how you will be if you go against what you know is the right thing to do.

Good luck, hon

thanks guys i tried to tell ron back in august that i wanted out of the marriage and he took it really hard and once again i felt sorry for him and left it at that I did tell mom and step Dad what was going on and i would give it till the first of the year like in january or febuary.
First of all let me explain something my husband has been cheating on me and ive been told about it. And while im working hes at the bars I do not drink as you guys know and ron just keeps on drinking at home and the bars he does not bring it in the house but many times i find bottles all stuffed in the drawers where ever he hides it.
I am so sick and tired of this realation ship i never cheated on him till sunday night the only thing this person did was hold me and kiss me I have not been with my husband in 7 1/2 years i might as well get it out in the open,(Hissy) said something about a counsler i did try to ron to go back in january 2004 my grief counsler was willin to help me and ron and he would not go

ron wont go to church with me but thats ok i understand but when i come home and look in the history of my pc and find all this crap againest god and all that its really upsets me! but i wont say anything to him he has no idea i know about it,
anyway this guy ive known him for 2 years hes more like a friend someone to talk to im seeing him tommorow night i can not beliave im doing this i do not know how i will be able to go to church sunday cause now im a adultres i think
But i did talk to God about this and i hope God understands im sure God wants me to be happy but i also think God wants me to be out of a marriage before dating someone
if i do not do something abouit this soon its going to kill me Im or ready down to 110lbs
i cant eat and i can hardly sleep ive lost 10lbs in the past two weeks over all siance this has been going on and dads death ive lost 20lbs now people at work are saying how bad i look and that really hurts me,lot more is going on with that but i cant talk about it yet to scared to

thank you for listen to me and the feed back

Please -- don't let anything more happen until you've sat down and talked frankly with your husband. Handling the situation honestly and honorably will give you the best possible chance of either repairing your marriage, or ending it amicably and with dignity.

I hear your sadness and confusion, and I'm so sorry for the way you feel. You did the right thing, coming here to talk about it. Lean on your friends, talk with your husband, and stay true to who you are.

Ok. It's more clear now. Rhonda, if your husband is an alcoholic he needs help. He will deny and reject and avoid the situation, and yet he still needs help - an intervention of some sort, perhaps.

I know you are focused on you now, and that is fair enough. But perhaps many of the problems you have are to do with his drinking? Getting that sorted might sort a lot of other things as well.

The whole situation sounds like it's getting messy, and believe me that's the last thing you want. You don't want to do what you know is morally the wrong thing, because inevitably it is not who you are, and it will make you miserable.

No, God does not want you to be unhappy, but He also wants you to be honest and truthful and fair - to yourself more than anyone. You MUST confront this before it gets more out of hand. Honestly, it's the hardest thing to do, but the best.

I don't know what to tell you. I think telling him you are unhappy and want out is a good first step.

Life is too short to be unhappy and if what you are doing is making you happy then go for it!! If you are not happy with your husband then it is probably best for both of you to call it a day so you can both get on with your lives and find that happiness that you are craving so much, no one deserves to be lonely in this life and i hope you can find what you need. All the best. Jennie. XXX

I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions before going any further one way or the other. If Ron stopped drinking, would it help? If he went back to being more like the man you married, would you stay? Is there really no way back? If not, then I'd say you need to talk to him, and explain that whatever happens you just can't stay with him. If there is still hope, then you need to stop seeing your friend because he'll only confuse and complicate things.

If you do carry on seeing your friend then you need to tell Ron it's over first, or you'll live the rest of your life feeling guilty about it (which you shouldn't have to do).

Life really is too short to be miserable, but you have to make sure you do all you can in order to carry on and be truely happy

Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!

Ok. It's more clear now. Rhonda, if your husband is an alcoholic he needs help. He will deny and reject and avoid the situation, and yet he still needs help - an intervention of some sort, perhaps.

I know you are focused on you now, and that is fair enough. But perhaps many of the problems you have are to do with his drinking? Getting that sorted might sort a lot of other things as well.

The whole situation sounds like it's getting messy, and believe me that's the last thing you want. You don't want to do what you know is morally the wrong thing, because inevitably it is not who you are, and it will make you miserable.

No, God does not want you to be unhappy, but He also wants you to be honest and truthful and fair - to yourself more than anyone. You MUST confront this before it gets more out of hand. Honestly, it's the hardest thing to do, but the best.

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sarah,
I'm a recovering alcoholic i took my last drink april 23/2001 and drug free siance march 1987 and yes i do fill guilty right now but i have lived in this unhappy marriage for 10 years next month we have not been a couple siance 1998 its like to room mates living together,there is noway on earth that he can not tell me that he hasn't been with anyone siance 1998 cause that was the last time we were together,i wish life were like the movies where you see happy couples together all i know im getting older and no im not saying i want to live with someone either i need to find out who i am what life is about when i tiik my last drink in 2001 i started to see life in a differn't way cause i never really new what life was while drinking it was like a dream,they told me when i was going through my AA meeting that some marriage's fall apart after one quicks drinking and some make it.
If i thought i could make this work i would but im doing worse by staying in it and lying to myself why didnt he leave in aug when i told him i wanted out of!
good lord i am dying inside im sick of everything all i want in life is to be happy and to be loved and held and when i lost Dad two years ago everything got worse around here and life is to short to live like this

Well, yes sweetie, it certainly sounds as though you know what you need to be doing.

If you are as strong as I think you are, then you are strong enough to do this, too. You're not alone, even though it may feel that way, but you have many friends here, and I'm sure support in your life as well.

I know what it's like to be just `room-mates' with your husband, and it's miserable. The best thing I ever did was to get out after five years of it - perhaps that's really what you need, too.

Hopefully you and your hubby will at least try some marriage counseling before you give up your marriage.....but even if you don`t, or if you do and it does`nt help....you owe it to yourself and the man you married to bring this relationship to a close before starting a new one.
Linda

Please dont cheat on him. You said he has cheated on you so you know that it really hurts. The old saying goes 2 wrongs dont make a right. If you want out then please get out. you are only putting yourself through more pain and sadness if you dont get out. Once you are single again be with whoeveer makes you happy. if you need to tak you can private message me. i know how it feelsto be cheated on after a long relationship. healing takes a long time. after i have been with a great man who would never dream of doing anyhting like tht to me i am still not over the guy who did cheat on me. please seek professional help!!

Sweetie, you've had some very good advice here - you need to let the man you married know that you're unhappy, but you also need to be true to yourself and decide what would be better for you. Your husband needs help - but don't feel you have to tackle it alone. I have no real advice to give, but i wish you all the very best and I hope that you can find something that makes you happy as well.