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Get Well Vibes needed please... long & rambling...

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I usually dont post these kinds of threads but im so scared of losing my FIL right now-- Every year since 2001 we have had at least one death in my in laws family. First it was my MIL's oldest sister (cancer), then FIL's 33 yr old neice (murdered by husband), then my middle SIL's oldest son (days shy of his 21st bday seizure/asthma/breathing problems), then it was my MIL's next youngest sister (arent sure what took - she was fine the day before she died just had a cold), then MIL ( emphysema, COPD, asthma), and then last month another one of MIL's sisters (terminal illness). Its been a very emotional few years in this family.

Melissa, next oldest SIL called me at midnite last nite to tell me that her dad (FIL) was coming back from deer camp to go to the ER-- he was having major chest pains. They arent sure if he had a heart attack or not-- He had a quadruple bypass surgery in jan 2001 and if he did have another heart attack this will be his 4th i think. He has already had 2 heart surgeries including the quadruple bypass-- in 1999 he had a triple bypass surgery too. If he dies, i dont know what is going to happen. His family is already so unstable. Everyone is leaning on me right now since i have a somewhat medical background and I understand the terms and what the dr's are saying. My children LOVE their paw more than i have ever seen in a grandparent/grandchild relationship and Paw (FIL) is smitten with both of my kids. ( The rest of the grandkids are in the late teens early 20s while my kids are 5 yrs old and 20 months).

As i was laying in bed last nite i was thinking about how we never got any pictures of my MIL with my daughter. My daughter is the second granddaughter in the family and the other one is 22 yrs old and she is/was not close with her grandparents. I told my MIL that she could not die before my daughter was born-- She hung on until my daughters due date. Luckily my daughter was born 2 weeks early. So she got to see her for a couple of times. I just realised then that we dont have many if any at all pictures of FIL with daughter. We have a ton of him with our son.

If you made it this far thru all my ramblings, please just send us some get well vibes. I dont knw if we can handle loosing him right now.
post #2 of 14
I'm so sorry you and your family have been going through so much. I am sending super get well vibes his way! When will you know more about his condition?
post #3 of 14
I will be happy to pray for you. Please keep us informed. ***hugs***
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
Melissa (SIL) just called FIL is going into surgery within the hour. I dont know anymore-- she was almost hysterical on the phone-- Something must have happened during the nite or early this morning to warrant this-- I dont know what or even what kind of surgery it is. FIL's dr hasnt even been by to see him ( this was his dr's off call week and he was away out of town) Ill update when i find out more.

update (10:20 am): DH called-- they are going to Cath FIL -- his enzyme levels are still way off-- so basically he is still having a heart attack. His last cath was in 2001 before he had his quadruple bypass. its gonna be anywhere from an hour to 3.5 hours before surgery could be over. we will have to wait and see for now.
post #5 of 14
I'm so sorry for the losses your family has suffered these past several years. My thoughts are with you...please take a deep breath, snuggle your kitty, and envision your father-in-law coming through just fine.

When he's better, maybe you'd like to have a little gathering of the family to honor those you've lost. You could put out their pictures, listen to music they especially liked, give everyone a chance to tell a story or two about them... it might be a very healing thing to remember and smile and drink a toast to them.

Take care, and let us know how he's doing...
post #6 of 14
I'm so sorry that your family has had to go through so much tragedy...I hope that your FIL pulls through ok. I'm sending your many "stay strong" vibes and prayers.
post #7 of 14
Thread Starter 

FIL is out of surgery-- out of the 4 veins from his quadruple bypass in 2001-- two are gone-- there is nothing they can do to help them, 1 is ok and they put 4 stints in the other one. He had a major heart attack last nite and it damaged 25% of his heart. His heart is pumping 2/3rds of what it should be doing. They put in a temporary wire pacemaker. They had to intubate him during the procedure due to his BP dropping erratically. and they were afraid he would vomit and comprimise his airway. He is in ICU and will be on the respirator for another 24 hours. They are letting family in to see him in a bit. Dr said that prognosis could improve if FIL would quit smoking, drinking and eating bad. Hes a southern farm boy-- born and raised on fried foods and fatty foods. I doubt very seriously he will give it up. I hope he stops drinking-- he only started that after MIL died last april. He has a 2 -3 pack smoking habit and i dont see that stopping-- he tried with prescription meds back when he had his quadruple bypass surgery in 2001 but it didnt last as everyone in their family smokes ( even the grandkids ughhh (except mine). I wish they would all quit i honestly dont see how they can watch half their family die of cigarette related health problems and still smoke-- MY mil was diagnosed with terminal emphysema, COPD, and asthma due to her 2-3 pack a day habit and she didnt quit smoking until 6 months before she died, and that was pretty much only beacuse she was in the hospital so much & they wouldnt let her smoke!

Maybe this incident will open his eyes a bit and the rest of the families eyes-- I hate to say it like that but its gonna kill them all. I dont want to lose anyone else., They are good people and i love them.

We dont have a date yet as to when he can come home, it will be touch and go for the next few days im sure. I dont know if this will make him retire or not. Hes not one of those people who can just sit at home. He has to work doing something. He just turned 65 tuesday as well. I will update as i find out more information--
Thank you all who are or have been thinking/praying for my FIL.
post #8 of 14
I hope that he is able to change his ways and start taking better care of himself. Keep us posted on how he does over the next couple of days.
post #9 of 14
that his condition improves.
post #10 of 14
sending get well vibes hopefully his conditions improve
post #11 of 14
Good vibes and prayers for your FIL!!
post #12 of 14
I understand so well... my father grew up on a farm in Kentucky, and he associates home and family with the very worst possible kind of food -- sausage and gravy and bacon almost every day of his life. Thank goodness, he is not a drinker, and he quit smoking in 1969 -- otherwise, I'm sure we would have lost him long ago.

But -- and here's my point -- one night almost three years ago, my father went into acute congestive heart failure, was saved by the paramedics, and had an emergency six-way bypass the next day. He was 84 years old, 60 pounds overweight, and diabetic. The doctor encouraged us to say some serious goodbyes before they took him in for the surgery.

But my father came through with (relatively speaking) flying colors! In the three weeks he spent in the hospital, he learned a new way of eating -- and just as important, my mom learned a new way of cooking. He was there long enough for his habits to begin to change, and they've STAYED changed. He's lost most of the extra weight, he looks and feels much better, and even though he's had three kinds of cancer and is now taking chemotherapy, he is by golly hanging in there!

So what I'm getting at is... if the hospital staff and the family place a lot of emphasis on the role of nutrition and start getting him accustomed to new habits while he's recovering, maybe he will find it easier to accept the changes he needs to make. And if his wife gets some good instruction from the hospital's nutritionist, she can probably make a lot of healthy changes in his diet that he won't even notice!

I hope your father-in-law's experience will be as positive as my father's has been... and I hope he'll be with you as long as my father has been with us, or longer. Take care...
post #13 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thanks Carol-- unfortunatly--my MIL died last year and the rest of the in laws either dont cook or only cook fried/fatty foods. They all smoke so i know they arent going to do that-- Hubby came across two of his sisters last nite deciding who was going to get what as far as FILs things down in the smoking area of the courtyard of the hospital. He admonished them severely. They told him he was in denial.

FIL is still reliant on the machines to pump his blood and breathe for him. Right now its a 3-1 ratio-- machines breathe/pump 3 times FIL once. They had to turn off the blood thinners last nite and adjust his bed due to his feet turning ice cold. DH said they put heat packs on his feet but his feet after over an hour with heat packs are still like ice. DH said that FILs nurse couldnt FEEL a pulse in FILs feet, but could hear an intermittent one with some kind of tool that she used ( i wasnt there so i dont know what tool it was and he didnt know either). They are going to try to wean FIL off the machines or at least to a 1:1 ratio on the machines.

Ill update more this afternoon when i find out more.
Thanks for listening everyone! and thank you all for your wishes and prayers.
post #14 of 14
Amitya.... I´m so sorry about all your unfortunately events that you passed...

My condolences for MIL.........

Don´t give up! .... TCS is here to listen to you and sending good vibes!!!!

you´re in my thoughts now!
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