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help! change in behaviour

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
hello everyone. hope you can advise with this problem I'm having. Sorry for the length, but I thought I'd put as much info as possible:

I got my first cat, Vinnie, aged 2.5 from a rescue centre, along with his
brother. The brothers had a great relationship and Vinnie settled into his
new home very quickly. He was a very soppy cat who loved sitting on me as
often as he could and I could quite easily carry him around for hours.
After 2 and a half years, I moved out of the flat I was living in, and,
unfortunately, my flat mate wanted to take Vinnie's brother with her, so the
cats were separated. Vinnie settled into the new flat easily. After about
6 months, I decided to get a new cat, thinking that Vinnie was lonely, so I
got an 8 week old kitten, Dave. Vinnie was not impressed but after a couple
of months tolerated Dave, and I'd sometimes find them curled up together. I
thought that when Dave calmed down, things would be fine. Vinnie still
ruled the house though, and would always want to sit on me and sleep on my
bed at night.

However, I then moved again, back to the flat where I originally lived with
Vinnie and his brother. Vinnie settled in straight away and started going
out etc. Dave took a few months to settle down, and for the first 2 months
urinated quite often on the sofas (leather) and my bed. After 3 months,
Vinnie started staying out for long periods of time, and there would often
by a couple of days where I did not see him. I soon found out that he was
visiting another flat where the lady adored him and would feed him.

Vinnie now comes round on average once a day, but only for food, and hisses
at me quite often. His behaviour varies around Dave - sometimes he'll hiss
at him, especially when Dave is sitting near the stairs (vinnie's escape
route) but sometimes he'll sniff him and not be nasty. Vinnie is no longer
affectionate at all which can be upsetting. What can I do to get my old
Vinnie back?

thanks in advance..

post #2 of 3
Are your cats fixed?

Sometimes cats adopt their owners. A lady I know has a similar situation. She rarely sees her own cat anymore because the cat has adopted several other residencies. It is one of the dangers of letting the cat outdoors is they might decide to not live with you anymore. They can also get more food this way by making the rounds.
post #3 of 3
You have moved Vinnie around quite a lot in his life. Cat's dislike it when we change their routine. They can become aggressive, ill, withdrawn, or anti-social. It sounds to me like he has made his own decision and found a home where continuity is there and he can relax. There isn't much you can do about it, unless you hold Vinnie inside your home as a strictly indoor cat which doesn't sound like it would work anyway, because he and Dave don't seem to get along all the time.

Vinnie would have probably been just fine with you had Dave not shown up. Sometimes, we project our own feelings and emotions on cats expecting them to respond as we do, but that is not the case. They move on their own, they move purely by instinct and their own motives. Chances are, Vinnie was not lonely and you moved perhaps out of guilt for allowing him and his brother to be separated.
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