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Family Problems

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
has anyone had to deal with irritating sisters? I have two, one older and one younger. The older one managed to somehow get her name on my fathers power of attorney some years ago. He is now 88, lived alone, and is very feeble. He had a stroke last year in August. Since then she and I have been sharing looking out for him as he can no longer drive. The younger sister lives out of state. Three years ago my dad gave me the family property where we grew up. It was valued on tax records at just over six thousand dollars. It was classified 3/4 acre bldg lot and 2.25 acres of farmland. The old farmhouse was still there, no water or septic. This property sits out in the country surrounded by fields. We built a house here, paid for septic and water etc. He gave the property where he lives to my two sisters to be equally divided when he dies. Anyway, it of course had water and septic, but he was living in a very old trailer. There is a nice metal bldg there, big, which added some value to the property. The tax value was just over 12,000.
Now I learn Friday night, my oldest sister had taken my dad, bought an 80 ft. mobile home to put on his lot and the title is in my two sisters names. I have not yet talked to any of them about it. My dad wanted to get something big enough to live in but small enough maybe he could keep his concrete porch and use his existing septic. Having built a house three years ago, and just finished building a new church here, my husband is very familiar with the bldg inspector. We found out how to go about it so maybe he could get all the permits etc, and still use his existing stuff. Well, all that will change with such a long trailer if they can even get it on the lot. I see new septic, trees being cut, all of which my dad will be paying for.
Right now I feel hurt. Don't know what to do, which way to turn. Any ideas out there how I can get some peace in my heart about what my family has done. Sorry this is so long and maybe just a rant.
post #2 of 2
I can see that there are two issues here. One is that they didn't ask for your advice, which hurts your feelings, and the second is that they have significantly increased the value of the property that they will be inheriting.

If you decide to confront them about the money part, this might cause a big rift in the family (or a bigger rift than you have now). If it were me, I would probably try to let it go, and be happy with the property I have, and proud of my own independence in doing the upgrade myself. If you had nothing, that would be another matter, but you did inherit a property to live on. But you could try talking to them, and ask for a cash settlement equivalent to the increased value of his property.

As for the hurt feelings about them not asking for advice, I think you have to let it go altogether. Of course, you need to vent, but they don't want your help. Obviously. I have this same issue with my younger brother, and I just make sarcastic comments about him to my dad, in a joking manner. And my Dad agrees with me.

I do sympathise, though, as my sister and brother both have children, and my mother, at one point, wanted to give them money for their college tuition. I got very upset, and said that I didn't think it was fair, that would benefit my brother and sister unfairly, I thought that each of us should have the same "share" in financial support. And my Dad actually listened to me, and agreed. But I had to be prepared for the other option, which would mean that I would have less than my siblings.
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