Originally Posted by Yosemite
The power to discipline (NOT ABUSE), has been taken away from parents and schools. The kids know it and they are the ones to use (ABUSE) it.
They already know at a young age that "you can't touch me or I'll tell and you'll be in trouble". Some kids make up terrible stories and frankly it scares the dickens out of me that some of these school guidance counsellors really believe them and the parents are treated as guilty until proven innocent. I do believe these stories have to be checked out and in some cases are cases of abuse but I remember an episode of a guidance counsellor at our daughter's school treating my husband and I like we were monsters because Jennifer was having some behavioural issues at school.
In grade 3 our daughter told the guidance counsellor that my husband was not her real dad - where that came from I'll never know. I can only assume that she had seen a wedding picture of me and my first husband and thought this might be a way to get attention or she had a friend who had a step-dad - who knows.
In this vein, our local paper just published interviews with parents of kids who'd been arrested for involvement in the rioting in France. It was surprising to me that so many of them complained that their kids were out of control because of France's strict child protection laws. Most of the people interviewed were Maghreb immigrants, and corporal punishment is the norm in North African countries, so the laws are understandable. However, an awful lot of them said that if they tried grounding, taking away privileges, etc., their kids threatened to report physical abuse at school or community centers, and simply did as they pleased.
Some discipline (not abuse) is necessary, and I think a few so-called child experts have really gone overboard with the "psychologically scarred for life" business. This mother's method may seem a bit bizarre, but how many other measures had she tried, without results?
One of my classes was talking about "out of control kids" today. There's a guy in the class who can only be described as rowdy (but very ambitious, with top grades). I was teasing him, because he'd made a very off-color remark within earshot, and said, "You know, A., if it weren't for your spelling, I'd suspect that you went to a W. school". ("W. schools" are private "anthroposophic" [don't ask] schools that don't believe in discipline or grades, and many problem kids end up there. The latter ruin it for the highly creative/intelligent kids who can benefit from such a program.) A. almost fell off his chair - apparently he did attend a W. school from first to fifth grade. The class (average age 19/20) complained about "most kids" not getting "enough discipline" at home or at school, and the general consensus was that those in power (parents, educators, politicians, social workers, etc.) were baby boomers who'd come of age in far too liberal times. I wouldn't say "most" kids, though "some" would benefit from more adult guidance.