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ever done online dating?

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 
I just joined match.com and am wondering what others' experiences were like. So far I've been in contact with some decent guys who seems cute, smart and nice. But have not met anyone in person yet.
As expected with the internet, there are plenty of perverts and weirdos out there and it's just a matter of sifting through those and finding the good ones.

Any tips? Funny stories? Success stories?
post #2 of 33
My brother-in-law joined an on-line service and met a woman. They married last Christmas on a cruise ship.

I believe they "chatted" for quite a long time before actually meeting in person.
post #3 of 33
I am a mail order bride- this was way before computers. We wrote for four years, met three times and will soon celebrate 19 years of marriage
post #4 of 33
Originally Posted by hissy
I am a mail order bride- this was way before computers. We wrote for four years, met three times and will soon celebrate 19 years of marriage
How romantic!
post #5 of 33
i met my fiance in a chatroom alost a year ago we talked on the phone and over the computer 4 months before we met in person and after about 6 months we moved in together adn have3 been very much in love and happy since then also my sister met her husband online and talked for a year before meeting in person and now are happily married
post #6 of 33
My Aunt & Uncle met thru the personals in a newspaper, they have been together happily for 6 years now, and just very happily in love!
post #7 of 33
have never thought about it but just might give it a try!
post #8 of 33
I joinedYahoo dating for a while for fun, but only ever met up with one guy, who it turned out was looking for an unpaid manager for his hotel, rather than a wife! Others who contacted me were nearly all rather strange, including guys way out of my age range and others who wanted to have some kind of internet sex! So I gave up. But one of my close friends met her husband over the net.
post #9 of 33
I am not so sure how much these match-making sites work.

But meeting someone online through forums of your interests definitely works.
post #10 of 33
Originally Posted by altzarina
I am not so sure how much these match-making sites work.

But meeting someone online through forums of your interests definitely works.
well if they worked too well the sites wouldnt make any money because no-one would be single any more! lol

worth a try though
post #11 of 33
I have never tried it. Then again, I didn't have a computer before meeting my husband. I would say trust your instincts, take your time and communicate through the computer or phone, if he is eager to meet right away, I wouldn't, just becareful, and have fun. When and if you do meet someone leave info with a friend or family member on what you are doing, his name, where you are going, also meet him in a public area, never let them come to your house on the first date. You just never know who the person is. Good luck and be safe!
post #12 of 33
I've tried it and didn't have much luck. There are a lot of strange people out there. Then again I tend to attract strange people no matter where I meet them.

If you meet someone, be sure to meet in public and let someone know where you're meeting. Try to keep everything as safe as possible, you know what I mean.

I found the people in general to be fairly nice and it is something I would do again.
post #13 of 33
I agree, definately tell one or 2 people where you are going and leave a phone number you can be contacted on.
My friend did this with a guy she met on Yahoo personals. She met up in a retaurant, she thought she was falling madly in love but after a few months really didnt like him. Thats nothing to do with meeting him on the net though, just life!!
I think its a great idea for people who dont have time, or confidence, etc to meet people. Just as long as you are CAREFUL and dont believe everything you are told.
Good luck and happy flirting!!
post #14 of 33
i met my husband in a chatroom but we went to the same highschool, we hadn't seen each other for six years though and he didn't look like the skinny little boy i used to know

we have been married for nearly three years now
post #15 of 33
Originally Posted by hissy
I am a mail order bride- this was way before computers. We wrote for four years, met three times and will soon celebrate 19 years of marriage
Somehow you never lost that taste for long distance communications.
post #16 of 33
I met my boyfriend of 3 years online and we have yet to meet in person though....he had an ad on a interracial dating site on Yahoo and I answered it. He is in the ANG now. Hopefully, we will meet someday.
post #17 of 33
WeLoveEllie is right on target. Don't meet in person for at least a few months, don't give your full name, physical address, or phone number to anyone online, always meet in public places, and never get into his vehicle or let him into yours.

It sounds paranoid, and some men will be insulted by your refusals. But a man worth your time will understand.

One thing to remember: online communication tends to intensify and condense everything. You reveal yourself more readily, become very close very quickly, develop deep feelings much more rapidly online. But much of it may be illusory, and may evaporate when you meet in person. Try to keep your head, no matter how powerful the relationship may seem.
post #18 of 33
I met my now Hubby of 8 years on AOL
post #19 of 33
i have never done it. but im sure there can be soom good things..and bad things that come of it!! just have to be careful of course. but match.com seems like a good site !!
post #20 of 33
i use www.hotornot.com and www.plentyoffish.com (this one is free)
post #21 of 33
i'm on match.com too!! so far only one wink from some wierd man who looks liek a woman.....LOL. i have a friend who met her "match" on match.com and another friend who married a guy from lavalife.
post #22 of 33
Amy and I met online in Dec 99 met in person 2 months later . in 2003 we got married .
Funny thing was that both of our parents we so against ppl meeting off the internet . My mother inlaw was so pissed but very happy that we met and fell in love and got hitched lol
post #23 of 33
One of my cloest freimds met her now husband on Match.com Neither of thme had very high expectations and a lot of same interests - so they clicked! They were so embarassed to tell anyone how they met.

Long before I met Eric the old-fashioned way (in person, by chance and no set up) I went on Match.com for a "free 7 days". I had a lot of dates but it seemed that every guy I met for snacks or coffee or whatnot, would go right back online and surf or cruise for other women just as soon as the date was over (I would check) and it made me ill. It was like a big game where nobody was ever sincere or serious about anybody else enough to let a relationship SLOWLY unfold. But that's just me, I guess.
post #24 of 33
I did that when I was 18 and had just moved to another state, because I was bored. I will say that at least back then, 90% of the respondants were only interested in sex. I got about 20 emails a day, so there were a lot to look through.

I recommend it, especially now-a-days, because it puts you in complete control of who you date. Now a lot of people have digital cameras/scanners or know someone that does, so you can see what they look like too. There are probably a lot more to choose from now also.

By the way, people on a dating site aren't looking for email pen-pals; they're look for you know, a date. They're not going to like emailing for months before getting to meet you--after all, that is what you are there for. It sounds romantic and all, but that's not how it works. Did you watch the special series, Hooking Up? It showed what on-line dating is like. I think that the only major difference is that since you get so many 'hits', you are usually seeing more than 1 at a time. Therefore, you are comparing them to one another instead of just learning about one of them like you would be had you met the traditional way. It could either save a LOT of time, or be unfair, depending upon how you look at it. It's not like meeting someone on-line in a chat room or on a forum and talking for a while before developing feelings; it's more like a blind date someone set you up on. You don't talk to that person for months before you go out with them. Just meet them in a public place until you get to know them. It's no more dangerous than going out with anyone, because even the most polite gentlemen can turn out to be serial killing cannibals.

Have fun/good luck!
post #25 of 33
I met my hubby online in a pets forum, we were both sysops (similar to mods here) and began chatting. We emailed for a couple of months that Fall, had a phone call in January - talked every day thereafter minus 3 or 4 days that first week until we married less than a year later We were engaged the day after Valentine's day that year.

We just celebrated our 10th year anniversary! It helped that other forum members had actually met him in person, I knew he was 'real' and who he said he was. Past that, hand of God imho, as it took a lot of twists and turns over a number of years to bring us to the place where we met.
post #26 of 33
The Internet saved my social life! I moved to HI for a job, leaving all my friends and family behind in OH. I loved the atmosphere here on the islands, and I reveled in finally being able to “blend in,†both physically and culturally (I’m South Asian) in comparison to other places I had lived on the Mainland. Being a single young female, I didn’t feel comfortable wandering around by myself in a new place, and it was difficult for me to meet people through work, since there was a large age gap between my colleagues and myself. Also, being new I didn’t know where all one could go socially to meet people. (I have a TERRIBLE sense of direction, lol!) I turned to the Internet for help.

I can now honestly say that most of my friends here on Oahu are due to the Internet, and as I had suspected and planned, getting my foot through the social door allowed me to later meet further people through more “traditional†social avenues. Two of the three guys I dated in HI I met through the Internet, including the one I’ve been dating for almost two years now. Since there is still a bit of social stigma attached to meeting people online, my boyfriend and I will sometimes “fudge the truth†with certain people. (We tell them we met in a restaurant, which is true, but only after meeting online initially and chatting and emailing back and forth first! If it is left up to me, however, I have no trouble with saying we met online.) In fact, my boyfriend and I are even adopted our bengal kittens together—and yup, we found them through the Internet too!

As a result of my experiences, I started an online group, “The Newcomer’s Ohana,†though the name is misleading (many of the members are life-long or long-time Oahu residents). It’s for 20- and 30-somethings on the island who want to expand their social horizons, a “place†where people can get together to meet others offline and invite others to interesting happenings they know about going on Oahu, as well as a “place†to ask for advice. My group even got mentioned in the newspaper because of a martini party I threw, which—you guessed it—was primarily organized via Internet.

Here’s a link to the article:


For me the Internet was a valuable social stepping stone and still is an important social tool I use to reach out and connect to others I might not otherwise meet. As with any social avenue, one must exercise certain precautions, but that the nature of any endeavor involving humans, unfortunately. I'm not saying that the Internet is for everyone, but for those who give it a shot, who actually take the "next step" and choose to meet "offline," it can be a life-changing experience (both good or bad).

The Internet is also is a great way to keep up with my friends and family back in OH--if I see them online I can save myself the expense of a costly phone bill, as well saving myself the worry that I woke them up or caught them at a bad time.

I guess there are a few people with whom I'd prefer to keep the Internet friendship simply that--an online thing only--but that's usually due to distance or a knowledge that hugely differing viewpoints on issues/lifestyles, while making for a good online debate, would make hanging out socially a negative experience offline. Other times, it's nice to have someone to talk to who understands or shares your perspective (or who can offer you a perspective you'd never considered before!) but who doesn't know you personally and therefore can feel comfortable telling you things honestly to your face that your "real" friends won't because they fear hurting your feelings or who might see certain truths to your situation because they are so far removed from your life.

Just my two cents on the Internet as a people-connector!
post #27 of 33
Well I have done it.

When I was 18/19, i met this guy in a chat (not really trying to meet anyone) and we fell madly in love VERY quick and i went out to see him twice, but we broke up once within a year then got back "together" and then broke up again because after the second time it just wasnt the same in person as it was online. So from then on, I beleived in meeting someone rather quickly after talking to them online if you think you might be interested, because like one of the posts said, it's not the same at all.

I did it a couple times since then, met a few people that i still talk to, but nothing too serious came out of any of them, some nice, some freaks, haha. But I think it can be a good grounds to try... although I do now prefer to just meet someone out and see where it goes from there.

The guy that I love right now, I e-mailed him because we worked at the same company in different offices and went to the same high school but never talked then, and when we started talking we met up and then the feelings just came I guess.

I would say good luck, be careful, and have fun!!
post #28 of 33
I met my wife online back in the mid-90s. In fact, I met her on the Usenet newsgroup rec.pets.cats!

It couldn't have worked out any better. We've been happily married now for 7 years.
post #29 of 33
I met my hubby on an on-line pet care forum too (birds though - sorry kitties) - we were both mods/chat hosts. We've been married a little over 8 years.
post #30 of 33
Originally Posted by Talon
I met my hubby on an on-line pet care forum too (birds though - sorry kitties) - we were both mods/chat hosts. We've been married a little over 8 years.
I met my husband on Match.com! We talked for a couple of months, met in person, dated for 2.5 years, and then got married. We just celebrated our one year anniversary.

The thing that struck me as "different" in a good way was that he sent me pictures of his cats! I loved that, as I wasn't allowed to have a cat at the time, and he knew I adored them. And I just loved how he talked so lovingly about them.

Just a tip: If a gentleman loves animals (preferably mammals, but birds and fish too), OK, just pets, he's probably worth a try. If he can love a pet, he might just be able to love you...

Good luck! I met a couple of doozies myself...it may take a couple of tries!
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