Prayers and positive vibes, please?

Originally Posted by valanhb

Jenn, I'm sending you the most calming and peaceful vibes and energy that I can.

No matter what the diagnosis, no matter how similar, you are not the same person. You can make choices. You always have choices and the power to choose. You're a strong woman, and I know you can make it through today, tomorrow, next year, and many anniversaries no matter how bitter.

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Sweet Jen,
I know you to be one of the br ightest and most intelligent people in all of Canada, much less TCS. I so think Heidi's words reasonate logic, sense, and truth. Let me tell you something: I never had a mother, really. My own mother was forced to watch her own mother commit suicide when Charlotte (my mother) was just 14. It affected her so deeply that for some reason - and totally unseen or forewarned to my father - she began acting very strangely right after I was born. It seemed that she wanted the boys but a little girl was too much stress. She was only 22, and she was begining a deep spiral into bi-polar psychosis, which nobody really knew about, much less saw coming. The psychological trigger and stressor, was, of course, her mother/my grandmother's death but in the 1960's there wasn't a lot being done for bi-polar people. My mother decided to handle her depression by trying to take my life, and I have a scar to this day to prove it. Had it not been for my older brother watching and making a noise in the hall, and my father coming home from grad school early because he had a very ominous feeling something was really wrong at home, I would not be here.

Years and years went by and do you know what it's like to have the school nurse pull you out of class every year with her white coat, just to make you look at inkblots and reasure your father that "no, your daughter is not crazy." -? My family watched me like a hawk for years, until I was about 22, to make sure that I had not turned out like my mother, who never wished to se me again and was sadly committed to a special hospital by my father thereafter. As an adult, I was determined to never let what happened to my mother, happen to me. But what a surprise when the golden child of our family, my older brother who could do nothing wrong and with the fabulous life, turmed out to have the gene profile and for the past 10 years has been spiraling down inside his own manic depression.

He, himself, is a different person and knows his proclivity to this disease - and he's determined to control it, not let it control him. We have much sadness in our family too, my dear Jen, and I'm not sure my writing here has even helped you one iota, but YOU have the gift of beauty, brains, will, and, yes, medicine, that your father did not have then. YOU can make a difference. YOU have been chosen to survive and make it RIGHT, where it wasn't before. YOU are the chosen one for all that is good, so let that be your strength and weapon and angel unto yourself.
Love,
Elizabeth

Vibes from Joecool here in Kentucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again to everyone for your support. Your support HAS helped me through this day. I do believe in prayer and know it was favourable to me, today. You are all so kind.

Eddie, thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm very touched and moved by what you've experienced. It's no wonder we hold each other in such high regard -- apparently we have a very similar story to share, and the wisdom that comes from all of it. Thank you for opening up to me -- I know it was a gift and a blessing. You are a wonderful woman and a good friend.

The candle has been lit and Mik is sitting here with me beside my laptop looking at me through loving little slits for eyes. This cat is love in one word. My boys have been my angels today. I'm so blessed to have two kitties as affectionate and knowing as these.

The rest of the evening will end with some pleasant memories of times gone by that can never be replaced, but which I will always treasure.

Jen, hon, I'm just now reading this thread , and there's nothing that I can add to what has already been said....all I can say is {{{HUGS}}} hon, and if you need to talk, I'm here too!

You are in my thoughts as you go through such a difficult time.

Jenn, this must be incredibly difficult for you.

My mother lost both of her parents to suicide from Bipolar. In my earlier days of diagnosis of the same illness (Type II, like you) I also attempted suicide four times in two years. I can understand at least a small part of what you are going through. This is a difficult illness, with difficult consequences.

The thing I can say to encourage and hopefully uplift you is that it is SO possible to live your life without this illness dictating your every step. When you have friends and family, good doctors, and people like the ones here to care for you, as long as you keep sharing and keep being honest with people (and with yourself) and you keep making sure you remind yourself it DOES NOT control you - you control it, you can fight and win this battle.

Good luck, my very best comforting, relaxing, calming and healing happy vibes to you.

I'm sending prayers your way.
My mother in law and my sister in law both have bipolar disorder. I had a friend commit suicide four years ago, and she was bipolar. Please, no matter how you feel, take your medicine. It helps SO much. If you ever need to talk, drop me a pm.

Thanks again for your kind words, everyone. I appreciate each and every reply.

Last night was a time to reflect, but today I'm feeling that much closer to moving on and letting go of some past issues. I think TCS prayers count for a lot!

Jenn, I haven't been on TCS as much as usual and just saw this thread. Sorry I'm late, but my prayers are with you.

Originally Posted by vespacat

Thanks again for your kind words, everyone.

I appreciate each and every reply.

Last night was a time to reflect, but today I'm feeling that much closer to moving on and letting go of some past issues. I think TCS prayers count for a lot!

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Thank you for keeping us posted. It is always so encouraging to read that our prayers, vibes, & well-wishes do make a difference for the better! I hope that you have a great day today. Susan

My thoughts, and prayers are with you. I hope each day things get better for you.

Hugs to you, and to Elizabeth (Sashacat) and Sarah (KitEKats4Eva), and others who have posted such sad stories. I'm glad you had a good day yesterday, and I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner.

One thing to remember is that bipolar illness is a medical disease. I know people say someone died of suicide, and that is true, but it is just as true to say that someone died of a medical illness (bipolar). Also important to know that suicidal thoughts can be considered a medical emergency, and it is appropriate to be evaluated at the emergency room to keep the person safe.

It was very sad to read such touching stories, but it helped me to realize how very strong some of the TCS members are! And no, inner strength cannot reverse illness (or I would will my blood pressure to go down!), but the determination to follow doctor and therapist recommendations can do a lot. Open communication with healthcare professionals can help them find the right medications and treatments. And sharing with friends helps make the burden lighter.

Jenn, I pray that your illness will stabilize, and that your mood will even out, and you will be feeling better with each day that passes.

As you know we are all here for you. Thoughts and prayers to you to help you through this sad time.