Hugs to you, and to Elizabeth (Sashacat) and Sarah (KitEKats4Eva), and others who have posted such sad stories. I'm glad you had a good day yesterday, and I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner.
One thing to remember is that bipolar illness is a medical disease. I know people say someone died of suicide, and that is true, but it is just as true to say that someone died of a medical illness (bipolar). Also important to know that suicidal thoughts can be considered a medical emergency, and it is appropriate to be evaluated at the emergency room to keep the person safe.
It was very sad to read such touching stories, but it helped me to realize how very strong some of the TCS members are! And no, inner strength cannot reverse illness (or I would will my blood pressure to go down!), but the determination to follow doctor and therapist recommendations can do a lot. Open communication with healthcare professionals can help them find the right medications and treatments. And sharing with friends helps make the burden lighter.
Jenn, I pray that your illness will stabilize, and that your mood will even out, and you will be feeling better with each day that passes.