Oh That Was Hard!!

Here..I am sitting sewing away and I couldnt reach the phone when it rang. So the machine picks up and its Steves Ex,the mother of his kids. OH IT WAS HARD NOT to Answer that call...Its my house So I could have. But..I didnt want to deal with her. OH IT WAS HARD THOUGH...she was calling to get our address so his daughter could send a letter. she is grounded from the phone. Now I can understand.....friends or whatever..

But not allowing a 10 year old to speak with her dad? GIVE ME A BREAK. So he is supposed to call and She will take a message.

Correct me if I am wrong, but she can not deny him speaking to her can she? Ugh well I know she can but she shouldnt. *fumes* kinda like her not allowing the kids to come up and see us. that he must go there. although you know it says nothing abou that in the divorce papers and she is getting over half his paycheck everytime he gets paid.

*sighs* that took alot of self control not to answer the phone while she prattled on.

I can see how that would be annoying. I can see not letting her talk to her friends but her dad..that's a different story.

Originally Posted by Miss Mew

I can see how that would be annoying. I can see not letting her talk to her friends but her dad..that's a different story.

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I know! When i was grounded I was always able to talk to whichever parents house I was not at. I mean HELLO its your PARENT! grr..this lady keeps making me more and more angry. I wish we were in a position to take the kids from her. But i know it would be a long expensive battle.

But I am going to see who I can talk to about her not allowing them to come here. IMO thats BS...he has visitation. its supposed to be every other weekend. Now being they are so far away we understand that.it wont be every other weekend..but..GRRR sorry I am just HOT right now lol

That is crazy!!! I would be mad too!

That's a pretty interesting punishment there. I don't think I ever got in enough trouble to not even be allowed to call my own parent. Although I did know a kid who got in so much trouble at home his Dad wouldn't let him go to school. Don't ask me to explain that one! Sheesh.....sounds like my ex-stepmother.

When I was 13 I stayed at my Grandparents for the summer in NY. All my family lives there. Well I made plans that couldn't be changed with my mother's side of the family. Dad called last minute wanting me to go somewhere with his side and I couldn't, I already made thoes plans. This was at the very end of that summer. He got mad and started acting rediculous, so I hung up. Next thing I know he called back very mad and announced he wouldn't take me home. My uncle and grandpa had to make the 8 hr drive. And to top it off, Mom found out by a very long nasty message on the answering machine from my Dad, with my now ex-stepmother in the background telling him every word to say! We didn't speak till my birthday, but before I could talk to him I spent a half hour crying on my step-father's shoulder. I was so glad when they divorced! Dad and I get along much better now!

Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

That's a pretty interesting punishment there. I don't think I ever got in enough trouble to not even be allowed to call my own parent. Although I did know a kid who got in so much trouble at home his Dad wouldn't let him go to school. Don't ask me to explain that one! Sheesh.....sounds like my ex-stepmother.

When I was 13 I stayed at my Grandparents for the summer in NY. All my family lives there. Well I made plans that couldn't be changed with my mother's side of the family. Dad called last minute wanting me to go somewhere with his side and I couldn't, I already made thoes plans. This was at the very end of that summer. He got mad and started acting rediculous, so I hung up. Next thing I know he called back very mad and announced he wouldn't take me home. My uncle and grandpa had to make the 8 hr drive. And to top it off, Mom found out by a very long nasty message on the answering machine from my Dad, with my now ex-stepmother in the background telling him every word to say! We didn't speak till my birthday, but before I could talk to him I spent a half hour crying on my step-father's shoulder. I was so glad when they divorced! Dad and I get along much better now!

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this woman is a real peice of work. she really is. She keeps having more and more kids. no job...mooching off the system, and us..yet steve cant ever see his kids...and yeah now the phone thing. GRRR

I would revisit exactly what the custody order says...//// Is it mother full custody or joint??

I have to check. I told steve I want to see the papers. I tend to be able to undersand the stuff better than he does. lol

My ex husband and I have joint custody but I have primary. I agree that she should be grounded from friends and all but not her father. If you look closely even if she has sole custody the decree should say "unhampered contact" which means he should be able to have contact with his daughter no matter what, withen reason. I mean he can't call at 2 am but if she's grounded, he should be able to talk to her. It almost sounds like one of those situations where they control the other parent through the child. My ex did that ALOT. I let him talk to his dad whenever he wants and he's not even 2 miles away. Even when he's grounded. I just wish that when he is grounded here, he should be grounded over at my ex's house but that doesn't happen and probably never will.. It's hard to get ex's to agree to the same thing, I mean isnt that why couples break up in the first place? oh and to add to the distance, I lived almost 90 miles away from my ex husband for over a year and we met halfway EVERY weekend on fridays for him to go to his dads and on sundays for me to pick him up... Dont let her give you that BS that you're too far away! Stuff like that 's me off!

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

My ex husband and I have joint custody but I have primary. I agree that she should be grounded from friends and all but not her father. If you look closely even if she has sole custody the decree should say "unhampered contact" which means he should be able to have contact with his daughter no matter what, withen reason. I mean he can't call at 2 am but if she's grounded, he should be able to talk to her. It almost sounds like one of those situations where they control the other parent through the child. My ex did that ALOT. I let him talk to his dad whenever he wants and he's not even 2 miles away. Even when he's grounded. I just wish that when he is grounded here, he should be grounded over at my ex's house but that doesn't happen and probably never will..

It's hard to get ex's to agree to the same thing, I mean isnt that why couples break up in the first place?

oh and to add to the distance, I lived almost 90 miles away from my ex husband for over a year and we met halfway EVERY weekend on fridays for him to go to his dads and on sundays for me to pick him up... Dont let her give you that BS that you're too far away! Stuff like that

's me off!

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I told him when he called to put his foot down and demand to speak with his daughter so hopefully that will happen. This woman is a real peach I tell you.

Well we live more than 90 miles. they are in Kentucky we in Minnesota. But I have offered to get the kids here one way or another if she will allow them to come. But she will not allow them to come here..

And do you know why? Because he wont take off workand they will be alone with me in the house for a few hours. She says that I am not qualified to watch her children.

and yet..this is the woman who has pawned off two younger children on a 10 year old, and a third will be pawned off ..her own words "Because all my attention will be on the new baby"

Great huh? Funny...parents at the girl scout camp practically threw their children at me...and the kids didnr want to leave..

It doesnt matter whether she wants the kids with you or not... Tell her you or him will file a Motion to Modify Visitation with the court and she will be held with contempt of a court order for visitation and could possibly have her children taken from her for denying them the right to have contact/visitation with thier father. It's only $20 to pick up the paperwork from the county clerks office and $50 to file the paperwork. Then she will have to drive HERSELF and TAKE OFF WORK about 15 times to appear in family court.. I almost bet ya she will herself when you tell her that!
I know, I did it to my ex! Or file Emergency Motion For Return of Child For Visitation...

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

It doesnt matter whether she wants the kids with you or not... Tell her you or him will file a Motion to Modify Visitation with the court and she will be held with contempt of a court order for visitation and could possibly have her children taken from her for denying them the right to have contact/visitation with thier father. It's only $20 to pick up the paperwork from the county clerks office and $50 to file the paperwork. Then she will have to drive HERSELF and TAKE OFF WORK about 15 times to appear in family court.. I almost bet ya she will

herself when you tell her that!
I know, I did it to my ex! Or file Emergency Motion For Return of Child For Visitation...

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I will tell Steve about it. See if he will get off his butt and do something about it. Thanks for the advice I was thinking about doing the research on that heh. She doesnt work..so taking off work wont be an issue. but...we shall see what happens.

Dixie gives you good advice. I hope you can get something done before the new year. What she is doing is definately wrong and WILL get her in trouble if you both pursue it.

Thanks..well steve just said he was not allowed to speak with his daughter..her phone privillages were taken away because "she was evil" so....yeah we have aproblem.

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

It doesnt matter whether she wants the kids with you or not... Tell her you or him will file a Motion to Modify Visitation with the court and she will be held with contempt of a court order for visitation and could possibly have her children taken from her for denying them the right to have contact/visitation with thier father. It's only $20 to pick up the paperwork from the county clerks office and $50 to file the paperwork. Then she will have to drive HERSELF and TAKE OFF WORK about 15 times to appear in family court.. I almost bet ya she will

herself when you tell her that!
I know, I did it to my ex! Or file Emergency Motion For Return of Child For Visitation...

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I love the internet..I got the forms for free.

I agree with you. I am learning all about "the other half" of things, like what parents who share kids in different homes go through. It can be a never ending battle. And I bet you don't think it's your place to say anything, don't you? You are just as important in this relationship as either parent. I don't know much about you, are you married to their father? There is no legal thing against you taking care of the kids. I would push this issue, and get it resolved, quickly! It ticks me off to see her using the children as pawns against you.

Originally Posted by menagerie mama

I agree with you. I am learning all about "the other half" of things, like what parents who share kids in different homes go through. It can be a never ending battle. And I bet you don't think it's your place to say anything, don't you? You are just as important in this relationship as either parent. I don't know much about you, are you married to their father? There is no legal thing against you taking care of the kids. I would push this issue, and get it resolved, quickly! It ticks me off to see her using the children as pawns against you.

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We are engaged and will be married in spring. I agree she has been useing them as pawns since the get go. I printed off the forms tonight and we will be filling them out.

She makes me mad. tried saying once i couldnt take care of his sons asthma. I retorted to her asking how many first aid certifications she had? She looked at me said none and that I didnt have any either. So I produced my CPR, Basic and Wilderness first aid cards as well as the information on the opening EMT course I took..that shushed her mouth on that lol

your problem is with your husband, as long as he lets this go on , it will! being that far away, was it in their papers that she could take (move) that far away? Usually it may allow a 100 mile radius. and whichever of the parent moves is more responsible for how they get the kids to the other, most people agree to meet 1/2 way. Anyway, if you decide to pick up the phone and ream her out, well that is exactly what that person is wanting you to do! Just so she can claim your crazy! Don't ever give her that much credit, if you know what I mean! Know her for what she is, she shouldn't be getting to you like that, she's got control, that's what she wants, as for your husband,(it kind of sounds like to me) she does control! How does he react to her, (messages, or whenever they talk on the phone) does he just go along with her? I wouldn't get mad, turn it around, kill her with kindness! It works, and she doesn't want you to be nice, so whatever she said about you can be true! Reverse pyschology, I'd be so nice, and come X-Mas time, I would get the sherriff to ride with me to her house to pick up the kids, that is if she says she will not let him have them, I know there won't be anymore problems then! If you kill her with kindness, she will eventually give it up since there isn't anyone fighting with her back she won't have a choice. I would really try to be her friend (so to speak) and then firmly, say that you all will be there to pick up the kids for X-Mas, give her the times and dates whatever etc. If there is nothing still between her and your husband there is no reason for anger, and you have to be the bigger one obviously,and take the high rode, don't ever let that idiot have the pleasure of getting to you, then she wins, that is giving her too much credit! If your husband lets her get away with not letting him see or talk to the kids, that is where the problem lies, if he does what she says, he won't see them, and she is probably over there telling them, he doesn't want to see you, so do you see what I mean, he either will put his foot down, get the sherriff, or whatever it takes to go get them. Let her know she can't keep them apart and listen they will know that he does care about them. They will eventually see who's doing right and who's not and they might just want to come stay and live with him after all, if you two handle it the right way. she can not keep him from them even if he weren't paying child support, you still couldn't keep them apart or you could get arrested! Please don't take this the wrong way, I have been through a train of these kind of situations, this is my suggestion and opinion, take it or leave it , I just learned soooo much, and it always pays to be the better one!It sucked alot of the time, but I say ("I'd rather be me, than the other person who is trying to hurt you) He has got to do it, if he doesn't, there is no reason to get so upset for something you can't control. So get control of you, (we are in control of only one, ourselves, I learned that the hard way)I hope this helps, we have got to stand together when dealing with such psychos! Another thing to do is "Pray for your enemies" that is the greatest thing to do, Ask God to change her heart, and for him to make her feel conviction every time she does something against him or their kids and you! Pray it everyday and I promise she will change, right before your eyes and ears, she won't even know why she's had this change of heart, but she will and that is the greatest way to all dealings with the evil" Plus your so blessed after praying for your enemies, cause God knows just how are this is for us to do!!! It is that but I promise the results are awesome!! Sorry this is so long, good luck with whatever happens, and I apologize if this offends you spiritually, that was my way to deal with everything I went through, I gave it to God daily,(I had to learn that though, and when you give it to him you have to mean it, if it still comes back on you, give it up again, and again, til you mean it) that I'm sure was the reason I stayed out of jail!! lol lol lol take care,

sorry its me again and i just read what dixiedarlin said to do. I would do that but I wouldn't tell her your going to do it, just let her get alittle surprise! If you all tell her about what your plans are , the messages, no talking to the kids any and everything she can do against you all she will!! She sounds like she deserves a good ole' surprise!

What are Steves plans with the children at Christmas time, Katie?