What is wrong with my cat

The problem with my female cat Precious stated after Oct 24. I had 2 cats. Both are long haired white cats. The male cat was 20 yrs old, diabetic and had a tumor on his thyroid. I finally had to let him go and it was so hard. I cried for days. I know you have talked about peeing outside the litter box, but I am thinking this is differnt. I am not sure and don't know what to do. Precious is 8 yrs old. I have tried cuddling with her afterwards and now I can't allow her on my lap. Everytime I do she pees on me. Not the floor but on me or last week my purse I had sitting on a chair. She seems to only do it to my things. Two days ago, i tried again this time she pooped on me. Is she anger that I left with Starburst and never brought him back? Any suggestion on what I can do to get her past this? I can't even allow her in my room at night or she ill pee on me. Her behavior has been so off the wall. A couple of times I thought it was cool she actually used the toliet and I never taught her that.

Desperate for help.

Wow. That does sound kinda odd. I've heard of a womans cat peeing in her husbands shoes when he would come home for a bit from the military. She would cry and be upset when hed have to leave to go back, so the cat would pee in his shoes so he couldnt put them on. I'm certainly no expert but it seems like your right about that shes upset because her playmate is gone. I'm sorry I dont have any info for you, but someone will.

Thanks for your response. I have been seriously thinking of looking for a new home with other cats. Since I live in an apt. I do not want another cat.

Precious does sound like she is acting out. She may associate you with her missing friend and is making you know it. Cats can get just as sad and depressed as people. She may be thinking in her little kitty mind that if she acts badly she will get to go where Starburst got to go.
I have heard of people saying to get another cat to fill that voide, but I believe both you and Precious have to grieve first.
As for the distructive behaviour, you may have to lock her out of your room and put things up where she can't get into them for a while.
If you havn't cleaned the house of all things that may smell of the other cat she may be peeing there to mark her place a strange way of remembering him. I suggest washing all things that may have his sent associated with them and see if it helps.

I actually went out and got a new litter box and washed everything he ever slept on. I even bought differt food.

Poor Precious! I think she is definitely grieving her loss (and yours)! I would still have her checked by the vet, because stress can bring on illnesses, too. But to me since she is doing it to you, and your belongings, she is expressing her internal pain.

We had a dog who only ever chewed up dh's belt or wallet, and it was always in response to not getting enough attention.

I would say rather than pulling away from her at this time, try holding her and letting her know that you are sorry about the loss of the other cat. I know they don't understand words, but somehow try to connect with her and share your grief. Tell her that you would do anything to bring your boy back home, but it was out of your hands. And give her time.

Give her more time before you consider rehoming her. She has been through a devastating loss already, and may get much worse if she loses her home, too. I think she will get over this.

Someone will post some better ideas for you. I am overwhelmed by her show of her internal pain. I don't think she is pooping and peeing on you because she is mad at you, it is just a bad and messy way of telling you she is very bothered.

The first thing to do is have her in to see her vet to rule out a urinary tract infection/crystals. Stress (grieving can be stressful!) can cause these things to pop up and it is always best to have your vet evaluate a sudden change in behavior to rule out medical issues.

Get her in, get urine labs done and let us know how it goes.

~gf~

I will give her time. As I know I am still very upset over the lose, I have never been this attached to a pet. Growing up on a farm I have seen many animals come and go an none has affected me this bad. He was a very unique cat and was actually my sons cat. I refused to let him take him when he moved out bacause I worried he would forget his insulin shots. Starburst had the typical Garfield character and showed his affection by nipping me on the cheek or headbutt me. Which is proably why I am so lost without him. Both were rescued cat. I kept both cats despite the fact I am allergic to cats, but longhairs don't bother me as bad. If i had a larger place I would get another cat to see if it would help, but I would want one in the same age range as her.

Hi. I wanted to thank everyone for your imput about how may cat was acting after the lose of my other cat. She has stopped peeing on my things and me. She did not have a urinary infection or anything. She was just plain upset that I left with Starburst and came home with empty handed.

She at infront of me one night and just watched me cry over the other cat and she started licking me, loving on me and follows me around like he used to. She is playful again and is putting weight back on that she had lost. She looked so bad. After a month of caring her in my room to sleep on the bed with me like Starburst used to she finally started staying. Now when I go to bed she is right there and lays on my shoulder and he paw has to be touching my face. She used to refuse to come in my room. This is my first experience with a pet missing another.

Again thanks and she is doing great now.

Thank you so much for letting us know she is better. What a difficult time you had. I'm glad you are both getting through that initial painful time after a loss.

Many cats respond well to Bach Flower Essences, which are an all-natural, safe & effective way of treating emotional or behavioral problems. www.spiritessence.com makes a Grief remedy specifically for kitties who are missing their companions. Starburst does sound like she's doing better, but as anyone who has experienced it knows, grief over a missing loved one sure does linger. Hope you both are doing as well as you can; I'm so sorry for your loss.

Amanda