Opinions needed

O.k, need some thoughts on this--Smokey will not have anything to do with my boyfriend(unless it's to do a sneak attack)She avoids him at all costs.(except when in heat-then I'm cast as the outsider)He has never been mean or abusive in any way toward her & would really just like to be able to pet her without her freaking out.I think it's because Smokey senses that he is really a dog person(we also have a dog) & just doesn't want anything to with him because of it.Am I in the ballpark on this or is Smokey just that stuck up?
Cheryl

Animals are great at sencing charecter... I would think about this relationship..

Smokey is probably uncomfortable with the smell of your boyfriend's dog, which no doubt permeates his clothes. Maybe when your boyfriend comes over, he could rub some of Smokey's bedding on his hands and clothing so he takes on HER scent -- that should make him more acceptable to her. :-)

Will you be spaying Smokey soon? It often eases moodiness, and of course it's healthier for your kitty.

Good luck!

He should try feeding her meals and her treats.

He DOES feed & water her and tried with the treats(she's very picky--all she wants is her nip--my cat is a niphead)We've had her for 3 years-my boyfriend is the one who chose her! she just wants nothing to do with him & pretty much acts that way toward anyone male.Smokey also wants nothing to do with the dog--I can't blame her on that one--neither do I.(sorry dog lovers)
Cheryl

Getting her spayed will calm her down. Some cats just don't like certain people, who knows why? Most of the people my cats have avoided, I have found out later in life, and sometimes in a painful way why they did so. Cats are pretty intuitive.

Originally Posted by sharky

Animals are great at sencing charecter... I would think about this relationship..

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What?! Some cats just don't like men, or only bond closely to one person. They should not be a main factor in deciding the quality of a relationship.

Ascribing human traits of instinct and reason to animals is flattering, but futile.

As others have said here, Smokey may just avoid your boyfriend because she smells 'dog' on him. You've been given some good suggestions about how to warm her up to him.

To label her reticence as symptomatic of some deeper understanding would be unwise, though. Smokey has no way to 'read' him the way a human can. She has no idea about the signs that can spell 'control freak' or abuser that women have to be aware of, nor can she discern from his words whatever hidden meanings they may have.

She is, however, an expert at reading YOU, her human, and if she senses nervousness in you, that may cause her to react toward what she perceives as the cause of the nervousness.

Is this a new relationship? Or one that is going through some 'changes' or difficulties? The chemistry between you two may be what Smokey is reacting to.

Just my two cents.

Cats who are spayed or neutered are more affectionate and less aggressive. That might help her warm up to your boyfriend. Here is another reason to get your cat spayed.

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

What?! Some cats just don't like men, or only bond closely to one person. They should not be a main factor in deciding the quality of a relationship.

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Experience ... Animals are more in tune with things than humans..

I've been stunned by the insightfulness of animals. My former significant other (who remains my best friend) is instantly loved and trusted by every animal he meets -- strange cats, dogs, ferrets, rabbits, parrots, even goats and sheep at the petting zoo always come straight to him and just ATTACH themselves, ignoring all others.

And they're right about him! He's an extraordinarily, deeply GOOD person. But how do the animals know that on sight? Well...

My friend is also extremely psychic. Laugh if you will, but I've personally seen far too many incidents to believe it's just random coincidence. And animals, too, are naturally very psychic, or "intuitive," if you prefer that word.

So my theory is that my friend's unusually intense psychic energy is beaming out like a radio signal, reaching out to these animals in a way they understand and making them feel he's a kindred spirit. And I think a lot of humans are intuitive enough to sense it, too, which may explain why he has such a huge circle of devoted friends.

It's true that some cats just don't like one gender or the other, or don't like certain scents, or perhaps just don't like some particular mannerism a person may have... but I would not discount the ability of cats to sense and respond to the underlying character of a person, as well.

Maybe she does not like you not spending time with her therefore takes out her anger on the object of your attention, ie the guy. Or perhaps you could be acting differently in front of you boyfriend.