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I know Im going to hurt....

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I dont know if some of you remember me posting about my grandmother's condition before, but she is now getting worse. A few days ago she could go to the restroom, get out of bed with out help, now today she needs help. Her stregnth is starting to to go down, she isn't active and runs out of breath after a few steps.
She's already having memory problems and is almost looking like a skeleton. When my grandfather died I just shut my self down emotionaly. NOw facing the fact she will soon pass, maybe next month or two) I'm already shutting down my emotions.
Everyone decided that they would rather her pass away at home than in a hospital, she agreed to it too.
I just don't know what I will do if she passes away while im here with her. It will be a shock to me, since i got to know her more than my grandpa.

With Robert being away in boot camp, trouble with our nieghbors, and my dad giving my mom and me hell i dont know how I can cope, especally if Robert isnt here to comfort me.

post #2 of 7
I'm so sorry to hear that your grandma is getting worse. I send you and your family many prayers.
post #3 of 7
It is hard seeing our loved ones decline with ill health, but it's good she'll spend her remaining time with loved ones. Sending strength vibes your way.

post #4 of 7
I am sorry to hear that. Your family will be in my prayers.
post #5 of 7
Has your grandmother started in a hospice program? Hospice was so vitally important to my family when my grandma became terminally ill. The work they do is amazing and they provide so much support. All the care can be done in your home and it's usually free. My prayers are with you and your family.
post #6 of 7
So sorry...
post #7 of 7
Oh sweetie....I can really, really understand some of how you feel. So, I want to tell you a few things, that can make it a bit more manageable. My husband is, and has been very, very ill. It is so painful for me to watch him decline, just like your seeing your Grandma decline. So, one huge thing that has helped me to cope a bit better is this: STAY IN TODAY. Sounds simple, or trite? NOPE!! Enjoy the minute, the hour, the morning, the afternoon, the evening...whatever time you do have with her. SAVOR it! This is your time with her....her time with YOU! Bring in some old photo albums and go through them with her. Have her tell you things that she does remember. A lot of times, when someone is losing a lot of their memory, they can remember things from way back! If not, then YOU tell her about YOUR different memories of that day, when those pics were taken. Help her in small ways. If she needs help with washing her hair, or giving her a backrub when she lies down for a nap, or to sleep for the night(using a nice talcum powder), or putting lotion on her legs and feet.... Giving her a warm cup of soup, or tea or coffee--JUST the way she likes it! Bring in some music from when she was younger (The libraries often have tapes and CD's from different music eras) and play them. If you know some of them, sing along with her! If she likes old movies, watch some with her and talk about them and let her reminisce over them. Read to her, if reading is difficult now for her to do. Or have her read to you, if that is something she likes to do. If she likes to take bubble baths, draw her a nice warm bath, with lots of bubbles and let her soak while you are there. She may feel safer with someone there. If you know of some things she really likes to eat, such as banana bread, or cookies, or a real good stew or soup, make it for her, and bring it over, and have supper with her. That way, she won't be eating her meal alone. Maybe bring some nice rolls or bread too. If she likes to go for drives, take her on a nicer, sunny day, for a drive in the country. Just finding ways to spend time together that will give her AND you, very pleasant memories forever, will mean so much to both of you!!! And the idea of staying in today....I cannot stress that point to you enough! Whenever I try to think even a WEEK ahead, I get so upset and scared. I had to really LEARN to just get through the next hour, as it is so less overwhelming that way. You or I, cannot control what will, or will not happen, anyway. So, we just have to learn to stay in the moment. It is something, that if you do learn it now, you can take with you, for the rest of your life, and you will have your dear Grandmother to thank for it! ((HUGS)) to you, and I wish you strength and comfort in the months to come...
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