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How old were you when you got engaged/married? - Page 4

post #91 of 113
I can't agree...I have no problem if that is what a couple wishes to do, but I don't think anything is more important then two people who truly commit.

I not only did not live with my dh prior to marriage, we only saw each other in person a few times before we married..we were each living on the opposite coast for the entire courtship.

Just my 2 cents...if one allows the "out", it won't work. You have to be truly committed to the concept of what marriage means.
post #92 of 113
I was too young. Engaged at 17, married at 18. First child at 20, second at 26. Divorced at 30. Still single at 43!! You sound as though you have invested a long time into this relationship and that it is working. Just don't jump into it because everyone else is doing it. You are soooooooo young!!
post #93 of 113
Thread Starter 
I'm happy this turned out to be such a popular thread! Its nice to read and see what others have been through. Things will happen at the rate they are supposed to, I'm just gonna go with the flow!
post #94 of 113
21
post #95 of 113
I got engaged at 20, married at 20.. had been in the relationship for 2 years. We both just knew that we didn't have to look any further because we had found a true friend and lover in each other.

This year will mark our 5th wedding anniversary, but we've been in this relationship for over 7 now! Both of us think that a marriage license is an unimportant piece of paper (it's just the way we believe), but I really wanted to carry his family name, so we did!
post #96 of 113
Emotional maturity is more important than age when it comes to marriage.
As long as you have sewn your wild oats and don't regret "not having done that" before you tie the knot, what's the problem?

I was 33 and 2006 is our 12th year as a couple.

We are perfectly matched because nobody else wants either of us...heh.

Bright Blessing!

-kiki
post #97 of 113
I am 21 and fiance is 18. We'll be 22 and 19 when we get married. We have lived together for about 4 months now and even though we have our stupid little fights, we still get along great. We bought a house together so it's been fun getting stuff for that and then adding our kitties as our "family" for the time being.
post #98 of 113
we met in July of 84

we were engaged December of 85 (I was 19, he was 23)

we were married February 86. I had just turned 20 two days before we were married. I was 21 when we had our daughter and 22 when we had our son.

Next month we will celebrate our 21st anniversary. I totally agree with an earlier post that emotional maturity is more important than physical age.

Best of luck!
post #99 of 113
I was 19 years old the first time... big, whopping, horrible mistake. I married an older guy who was meaner than a snake & kept me on a very short leash. Ended in divorce, when I grew enough nerve to leave him.

Then 24 the second time. Big, whopping, horrible mistake, BUT, I was pregnant. It was my stupid mistake to think I had to get married just because I was expecting his child... a child he never wanted, and 9 years later, still doesn't want. Ended in divorce, when he got sick of being around a crying baby & filed for divorce.

I'm married to my daughter, cats, dog, and my mortgage now!
post #100 of 113
We got engaged when i was 21 and we married when i was
at 23 and still going strong after 13 years
post #101 of 113
I started dating my (now ex-)husband when I was 16, we became engaged when I was barely 18 and married after I turned 21. We divorced when I was 28 (my decision).

Eagle-eye hindsight tells me there were signs of trouble that I chose to overlook because I thought I was smart enough and mature enough to know "real love" when I saw it. Yes, I did love my husband (and perhaps to some extent still do) but at 18 or 21 I think there's still a LOT of growth that needs to happen before one can make a lifetime decision like marriage.
post #102 of 113
I didn't read every post but I see so many mistakes. Buying a house before you got married? Having childeren before marriage?

Call me old fashion but I think it's fine if you want to play house but there are certain things you have to consider waiting to do until after your married. Yes, I know accidents can happen and I understand this. I understand it happening once, not multiple times. And purchasing a house isn't an accident.

What's up with all these 3 or 4 year "engagements"? Now I'm not saying rush to the altar but isn't a year or 18 months enough? If two years goes by I honestly think your avoiding the situation.

Hey, I watch a lot of daytime court shows. If your in a long term relationship without marriage it can be a disaster trying to get what is yours (or what you think is yours).

I got married when I was 44. My wife was 29. I was never married prior to that. We've been married now over 8 years, with 5 cats 11 parrots and thankfully no childeren.

I think I have heard that 50% of all marriages end in divorce but when people get married before 25 that number jumps to like 72%. So if your playing the odds, I suggest you wait until your at least 25 for a female and 30 for a guy. Why 30 for a guy? It's because all guys are immature. When I was 20 I almost married a girl 18. Would have been the biggest mistake of my life. At 20 I had the brain power of a 16 year old male, and most of that thinking wasn't coming from the part on my shoulders.

OK, I've rambled on about this enough. A person is going to do what they want anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts on this.
post #103 of 113
I was sixteen the first time and 31 when divorced. I was heartbroken. But I remarried and have been married now for almost 28 yrs, and happily so.
post #104 of 113
hmmm- I met my ex when I was 20, August of 98. Moved in together Oct of 2000, got engaged that Dec, married Aug 2002 (I was 24) and divorced June of 2005 at 27. Thought we did everything right but apparently not. I truly think I will never marry again. I loved him very much, but when the love is not returned in kind it tends to deteriorate into resentment. we get along much better now- might even call us friends of a sort, except for that his new g-friend does not like him talking to me. How immature is that? Wonder how she likes him talking to his other ex- the one he has a kid with??
post #105 of 113
i dont agree that there is a certain age when people are ready to be married. I am 21 and have just built a home with my boyfriend, Lee 23. No we arent engaged, but are planning to be very soon. I think that making all these important decisions now is a good thing. "Playing house" as some call it is important IMO too. It would be aweful to be married and move in and decide OMG i cant stand that he doesnt rinse his plate or throws his socks in the corner or whatever. I think that living with Lee has been the best thing to happen to us. We were together for 2 1/2 years before this. IMO if you can go through the stress and fighting that go along with building your own home, you can withstand almost anything (with in reason). But this is just MO.

Some poeple mature at a very young age. I believe that the way you were brought up has a lot to do with it. I have lived with a whle lot of changes and traveling that has made me slightly wiser than my time (IMO strictly ). Lee and his family have gone through some terrible things that have made him grow up faster than he wanted to. I am a very firm believer that age is nothing more than a number. I know some 40 and 50 y/o that are supposed to be mature and act like 15 y/o.
post #106 of 113
We would ask those members with strong opinons, that while addressing these opinions are welcome, the way in which the opinions come across needs to be tempered. There are living, breathing people on the other sides of these computer monitors. Please remember that before you hit submit and be sure that what you are saying is helpful and not hurtful.

Due to the subject matter, this thread has been put in IMO

Oh and back to the subject at hand- the first time, I was 19 divorced at 29. Second time 32 and still married going on 19 years soon.
post #107 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by hookbill
I didn't read every post but I see so many mistakes. Buying a house before you got married? Having childeren before marriage?

Call me old fashion but I think it's fine if you want to play house but there are certain things you have to consider waiting to do until after your married. Yes, I know accidents can happen and I understand this. I understand it happening once, not multiple times. And purchasing a house isn't an accident.

What's up with all these 3 or 4 year "engagements"? Now I'm not saying rush to the altar but isn't a year or 18 months enough? If two years goes by I honestly think your avoiding the situation.

Hey, I watch a lot of daytime court shows. If your in a long term relationship without marriage it can be a disaster trying to get what is yours (or what you think is yours).

I got married when I was 44. My wife was 29. I was never married prior to that. We've been married now over 8 years, with 5 cats 11 parrots and thankfully no childeren.

I think I have heard that 50% of all marriages end in divorce but when people get married before 25 that number jumps to like 72%. So if your playing the odds, I suggest you wait until your at least 25 for a female and 30 for a guy. Why 30 for a guy? It's because all guys are immature. When I was 20 I almost married a girl 18. Would have been the biggest mistake of my life. At 20 I had the brain power of a 16 year old male, and most of that thinking wasn't coming from the part on my shoulders.

OK, I've rambled on about this enough. A person is going to do what they want anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts on this.
Whoa...problematic...I think way too many assumptions have been made in this post.
post #108 of 113
Married at 19, divorced at 24. Married at 31 and still going 28 years later.
post #109 of 113
engaged at 18 - changed mind
engaged at 28 - married at 28, divorced at 31
engaged at 32 - married at 33, divorced at 41
engaged currently at 46!!! THIS is Mr. Right!
post #110 of 113
Thread Starter 
Wow! Can't believe this thread was still going! Things are wonderful b/t me and Patrick still, our 5th anniversay of our relationship is tomorrow! I've pretty much gotten over "needing" a ring right now. I know he is my soul-mate and we will be together no matter what! We'll get married when the time is right and when our financial situation can handle it. This was great to sit and read again, I love hearing all the successful love stories!
post #111 of 113
Well, I was engaged five times before I got my 'act' togeather. My wife of 41 years and 15 days was 23 and I was 24 for that fifth one .


Dan
post #112 of 113
I was 23 and married at 24.
post #113 of 113
I do agree with not having a long engagement, at least for me because I feel that becoming engaged is almost as serious as becoming married and so I wouldn't become engaged unless I was in the position to be married soon after.

AshleyNicole, I feel for you on this subject lol. A lot of people around me and some people that I've graduated with are recently married or engaged.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years and we've been living together for about a year now. The first year of our relationship was long-distance since he was in college and I was still in HS, but we saw each other every weekend. I just turned 19 and I'm halfway through my sophmore year and although we do love each other I know that I'm not ready to be engaged. I've got college to focus on and if it's meant to be then we'll still be together after college. If all works out we plan to get married in the next 5 years or so, after I finish my Masters and have my life fully on track Best of luck to you guys!
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