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Is it too soon....

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Is it too soon....
I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks now. I have been struggling with myself because I have realized that I am in love with him! I have been in love before and hurt many times, and I have even been married. My dilemma is that I am scared to tell him I love him, for fear that he doesn't feel the same, or I'll mess up something I really want to have! He is wonderful! He cooks for me, (very well, I might add!) he has a daughter that he is a wonderful father to (and I mean I've never seen such a devoted and patient man! That includes my own father and step-fathers). He always includes me in things he does with his daughter, we went to a pumpkin farm the other day, trick or treating, stuff like that. He takes me out, never lets me pay for anything, he has a great and steady job, has his own house, he's CUTE (lol) always makes me feel comfortable and welcome in his home. Loves animals, this weekend we are doing a trial with my dogs over there, so when I sleep over, I don't have to ask the neighbor to let them out, and also cuz they miss me! He said they can come over any time. We have SOO much in common, and we get along splendidly. The sparks are all there! He continuously compliments me about everything, smart, pretty, etc....
So, what's the problem? I LOVE him but am afraid to tell him! I am planning on telling him this weekend, probably over a glass of wine or two! Lol! I was just wondering if any of you have felt this way, and what you did or would do about it? How should I tell him that won't sound too cheesy, and at the same time, not too needy, so he doesn't get freaked out? I don't entirely know if he will, I'm thinking too much about it! I know the choice is ultimately mine but I would like your opinions and stories too!
post #2 of 28
Well he sure sounds like a great guy. I guess if you "say the L word first" it might scare off SOME guys; but to a guy like this, who is secure, set, and mature; it will probably be a great compliment.

You could just go with the flow on this one. Maybe HE will say it first. Then you can just say, "I feel the same way" and say it back.

Don't make it rehearsed (like waiting til the wine kicks in and blurting it out like you're reading from a book). I don't think there is a timeline on loving someone or falling in love with someone or just FEELING love even just a little bit! But yeah saying it can be tricky, that first time.

Anyway yes I've felt this way, recently even, and I was the first one to say it. I got it right back at me! If you are both secure, unselfish and emotionally in-check (meaning he's not a cold, scared guy and you're not clingy), then everything will be OK to say it first & say it this weekend.
post #3 of 28
He sounds wonderful, and if he's really the right guy for you, there's lots of time to let him know how you feel. (Like maybe the rest of your life.) So instead of rushing things, why not just enjoy what's happening right now...
post #4 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorie D.
He sounds wonderful, and if he's really the right guy for you, there's lots of time to let him know how you feel. (Like maybe the rest of your life.) So instead of rushing things, why not just enjoy what's happening right now...
I agree. There is so much time. Don't think about it, it will spill out of your mouth when you least expect it!!!
post #5 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by emb_78
I agree. There is so much time. Don't think about it, it will spill out of your mouth when you least expect it!!!
I agree! that is what happened to me!
post #6 of 28
Thread Starter 
Hmmmmm....well, it's not that I want to rush it, but it's how I feel, and would like him to know it. Like that song, "If tomorrow never comes" by Garth Brooks. Actually, I DON'T know if I have time, you just never know, I could die tomorrow, but it's actually just that I want him to KNOW it.....Thanks for the advice, I will think some more!
post #7 of 28
Hrmn... you could get around that by letting him know you think he's very special, without telling him you love him. Some men get a bit freaked by the L word, so perhaps it's a good idea to test the water a bit with your toes before trying to hop straight into the puddle before you see how wet you're gunna get!
post #8 of 28
Awwwwwwww"Le Amour".....

My best wishes to you Chick! ...I wish that work it for you!

GOOD LUCK Shannon!
post #9 of 28
I agree with Lorie on this one too.
post #10 of 28
How fun to be in love!!! I remember that feeling when I first met my hubby 20 years ago. I guess you could say I kept my mouth shut and let him be the first to say it. I didn't want to scare him. I know it's hard for you, but you might want to consider giving the relationship some more time. I don't know this man, so maybe he'd be ok with it? It's anybody's guess. You'll know when the time is right. Good luck and MUCH HAPPINESS TO YOU!!!!!
post #11 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lndscpsam
How fun to be in love!!! I remember that feeling when I first met my hubby 20 years ago. I guess you could say I kept my mouth shut and let him be the first to say it. I didn't want to scare him. I know it's hard for you, but you might want to consider giving the relationship some more time. I don't know this man, so maybe he'd be ok with it? It's anybody's guess. You'll know when the time is right. Good luck and MUCH HAPPINESS TO YOU!!!!!
Agreed!

My hubby and I (have been together 7 years, married almost 2) said the "L word" to each other all of a whopping 4 days after we started dating. Yes, we're crazy, but it just felt right! And, since we're still together and married, it seems like the right thing to do.

There's no harm in waiting a little while to say it, even if you feel like you're just going to burst! Good luck and I hope you two are as happy as we are!!
post #12 of 28
Thread Starter 
That's what I kinda think too, even though I feel right about saying it. What if he's waiting for ME to say it first! Haha!
post #13 of 28
Lifes too short so tell him how you feel, but reassure him by telling him it doesn't mean your wanting to book the church etc...
post #14 of 28
I'm with Garth. Let him know this weekend. Even be honest about the fact you were a little scared to let him know.

The first time I told my now dh that I loved him, I asked him not to say anything back. I didn't want an uncomfortable "Uh, me too!" But it all worked out fine, and he told me he did love me, too.

Ah, new love, that is so sweet. We have been married for 12 years, and I still love him, and he still loves me. I hope this works long term for you, too, but do keep enjoying what you have now.
post #15 of 28
Six weeks isn't a long time. I'd personally just enjoy the moments for now and when the time is right it will slip out at the most unexpected moment and it will be the right moment.

Right now you are six weeks into getting to know someone. That's not a lot of time. Sure things can feel right but I wouldn't rush it personally.
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Hmmmm.....I think I'll let the weekend play out and see what happens....we have the weekend free of his daughter so I'll see, if we go out or what we do. You're all right, I shouldn't plan it, just let it happen. I better not drink to much tonight, hehe....
post #17 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by menagerie mama
Hmmmm.....I think I'll let the weekend play out and see what happens....we have the weekend free of his daughter so I'll see, if we go out or what we do. You're all right, I shouldn't plan it, just let it happen. I better not drink to much tonight, hehe....
Good luck!!
post #18 of 28
Well, any news????
post #19 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emb_78
Well, any news????


Lol, thanks for asking! Yes, I have news! I was just planning on not thinking about it like I had mentioned, and last night we went out to see a band with some friends and had a few beers. By the end of the night we were both feeling pretty good, and he started asking me if I was having a good time, and he said it makes him happy to see me happy, and then he said, a little shyly, that he really liked me A LOT, and he said, "bordering on the other word"....well I knew what he meant but didn't want to pressure him for it, so I just made a little joke about it being the beer talking, and then our friends drove us home and when we got home he just started out a new conversation about what he said about bordering on the "other word" and he said he isn't bordering, he LOVES ME! He said it first! Yay!
He said he loves everything about me, loves being with me, loves his daughter and I being together, loves the way I look, the way I smile, the way I smell, (good, lol) the way I laugh, my mannerisms, on and on he went....Then he said he just had some fears about what I think about him having a daughter, he was worried for some reason that I might think she's bothersome...which I assured him right away that's not the case at all, and that I already feel like she's OURS anyway. When she runs to me now and lets me hold her, she smells so sweet, I could just hug her forever, my heart swells with the feelings inside.....and I told him that I wanted to have more children, and I said it's not like I'm jumping the gun and saying we're gonna get married right away or something, but I could definitley see a future with him, and wanted one, and he said he could see spending the rest of his life with me! We talked for about 2 hours about our wants and needs and what we'd like to see happen, and then we fell asleep cuddling. It was sooooo nice!We both know there will be more to deal with along the line, but for now, it's GREAT finally knowing where we stand. Neither of us has to guess, we know that we both want the exact same things out of life, and I couldn't be happier!!!!!
Six weeks isn't a long time, but we spend every spare second together, and we've gotten to know each other better than in a normal six week relationship, where you just date occasionally. I had to go with my gut on this one, and I'm so glad I did, because it turns out, he felt the same way!
As for it being the beer talking, he said he loved me as soon as we woke up this morning! I was relieved that it wasn't just the beer, and it wasn't a dream!
Problem solved!
Thank you for your help and input!!!
post #20 of 28
What a fantastic night you had!

Best of luck for the future too
post #21 of 28
That's wonderful, you can't have too much love in the world.
post #22 of 28
Yay!! What an exciting time for you. He definitely sounds like a keeper.
post #23 of 28
Shannon, I am so happy for you! He is definitely a keeper...your story sounds just like what happened to me and my husband! YAY!
post #24 of 28
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I'm so happy for you!!
post #25 of 28
Congrats Shannon I'm glad it all worked out
post #26 of 28
I'm so happy this worked out for you. It's terrific to connect with someone so well. I hope your relationship continues to grow and flourish.
post #27 of 28

Yeah you!!!
post #28 of 28
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I appreciate you taking time to help and encourage me!
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