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Bad Kitty (FUNNY!)

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
If you haven't found this site already, take the time to read it. It is what kitties would have to write on the blackboard when they get in trouble.

It is a really long list, but it is worth the time. I about peed my pants on some of them! :laughing: If nothing else, it really showed me how *good* my babies are!
post #2 of 24
Thread Starter 
Forgot to do this on the original post, I'm such a blockhead!

I came up with my own Bad Kitty inputs when I read that site. Thought I would share a couple...

1. I will not climb my human every time he has a glass of milk. I will not stick my head in his glass of milk any time he is not drinking from it.

2. Even though we love the Christmas decorations, we will not sulk until our human has to make the velvet tree skirt a permanent addition to the living room.

3. I will not beg to play with my human only to tire of the game within 10 seconds.

4. I will not squeal like I'm being tortured just to get my brother in trouble. (Ophelia is a big tattletale and knows her Daddy will always take her side. Daddy is learning that she is not the perfect angel she claims to be)
post #3 of 24
My favorite one:
I have lived with my sister since birth. There is no need for alarm when I encounter her in the hallway.
My cats are just like that! One is the mom to the other three, yet they still sometimes sniff each other like they've never seen each other before!
post #4 of 24
I love the explanations. Like "I will not sleep in the cabinet of clean dishes (the bungee cord was put there to keep me out)" I mean, what they must have gone through to even put a bungee cord up there in the first place!

My contribution: "I am a cat. I cannot purse my lips. Therefore, I will stop trying to take the water bottle from my human because I can't drink from it anyway!"
post #5 of 24
Here is my contribution:

I will not mistake my persons open empty gym bag on the floor as a litter box in which I can pee.

This was compliments of Patches.
post #6 of 24
I will not attack the covers with my newly sharpened nails every time my human moves her feet in bed--especially not a 5 a.m.
post #7 of 24
Valan, those are great!

Here's mine: I will not constantly go infront of the blinds to look out the window because this makes alot of noise and makes it easy for people to look into the bedroom and it annoys my humans.
post #8 of 24
What a great site!

Noodles needs to add that: I will not stalk my sister Bootsie at every opportunity, causing her to run over mom's face while on the couch!

There are sooooooooo many to add. Will have to give this some more thought.
:tounge2: :tounge2: :tounge2: :tounge2: :tounge2:
post #9 of 24
Heres a couple from my bunch :

"I will not dig to china everytime I use the litterbox just to pee directly on the plastic" (my Human says its hard to scoop out the box that way)

"I will not launch myself headfirst into the toilet everytime it flushes to catch the draining water" (my Human is tired of having to pull me back out)

post #10 of 24
Melissa!!! Merlin does BOTH of those things you mentioned! I know what you mean!!! :laughing:
post #11 of 24
This one is for BOTH my cats:

"I will not go into the litter box, scratch a hole, do my thing and proceed to step my 2 front paws out onto the floor and proceed to try to cover my deposit with the tile (or carpet)":tounge2: :tounge2:
post #12 of 24
I will not run to the bedroom door when my human goes to bed, and then stand at the door for five minutes before deciding whether or not I will go in.
I will not flag my tail for that good- looking Tom again.I won't-I won't; I won't;i won't------;i----don't think I will----
post #13 of 24
Melissa - all my kitties have a direct route to China through the litter boxes! Don't you know that they go there for Chinese New Year Parties?

Jeanie.........that is sooooooooo funny! But I think your tail-flagging kitty is wavering...........
post #14 of 24
:goodbad: I will not chase my brother across the dining room table and take the tablecloth, candle holders, and mail with me to the floor.
post #15 of 24
I will not insisit on trying to climb into the garbage cans in the bedroom and bathroom again and again because this tips them over and makes a mess and makes my humans very mad.
post #16 of 24
I have a few for you guys:

I will not claw at and break the litter bag when my human is being nice enough to scoop out my litter box.

I will not jump into the litter box immediately after it has been cleaned especially when I just went two minutes ago!

I will not jump into the fridge every time it is opened only to wait for my human to whistle and give me a treat.
post #17 of 24
Thread Starter 
Those last ones reminded me of a new one from Trent:

I will not try to use the litterbox while my mom is cleaning it. (EEEWWW!)
post #18 of 24
I second that one! EEEWWW!!!!
post #19 of 24
Snowball used to do that when he was a kitten! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

I will not get up on the desk and then start stumbling around on the keyboard while my human is typing.

I will remember that I am a cat not a dog and I will not start howling as soon as I realize I am at the veterinary clinic.
post #20 of 24
You're all too funny. Here's my contribution...

I will not massage my owner's shoulders at 4:30 a.m., nor groom her hair, nor lick her forehead.

I will not play tag with the puppy and then hiss at him when he catches me.

I will not claw my way over my owner's shoulder whenever a strange noise startles me.
post #21 of 24
Opie: I will not jump into the dishwasher, when Dad turns his back. Lucky, for me, he looked to see why the bottom rack would not slide in: I was hiding behind the cookie sheet!
post #22 of 24
:mimouse: I will not offer any mouse to my person unless it is "truly and sincerely" dead. It makes her look like this:
post #23 of 24
Too funny!

My contribution:

I will not sit right in the middle of the book, newspaper, mail, or whatever my human may be reading at the time and expect my human to drop what they may be doing to play with me right away!

I will not step in front of my human, causing them to trip or fall while they are walking.
post #24 of 24
Hello! I was checking the site stats and found a few links from this forum! Those of you who would like to have their contributions added to the list, please send them to me (with your name, so that you can be credited). All of these are more than worthy of being added! (I especially like the one from Melissa about the cat launching him/herself into the toilet to catch the draining water!)

I won't copy what I see here in the forum because I make it a policy only to use things that are sent to me. (So PLEASE e-mail me!) is the URL of my mail page -- I don't want to post my address in the message body because of the spam robots...

Contributions from those who have bad rabbits, dogs, ferrets, horses, guinea pigs or iguanas are also always welcome!

Good luck managing your masters!
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