has anyone ever...

kitty_cat_lover

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Felt like your alone in the world? that there's no one out there that understand's you? Like there's no one you could talk to? Have you ever just kept your feeling's bottled up inside you and your mouth shut? Have you ever felt like everyone around you, especily your family, exspects you to be perfect? Have you ever jsut fallen to your knee's and cried? Have you ever wished that everyone would just shut up and leave you alone because thye just don't understand? And then on that fateful day when you find a real friend that you might exsplode wiht joy right there in then...like you might cry with happiness? Have you ever just felt like the whole world is agenst you? I have. I've felt like that before, like I had no one to talk to. I know htis may seem pointless....but....I was jsut woundeing if there was anyone who understand's that or know's how that feel's....because I've never met anyone who has. Sorry if this is pointless....just wnated to know, you know.
 

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I've felt that way alot. Some call it depression. Mine comes and goes though. No I'm not bipolar. I just feel like noone understands anything and I just want to curl up and cry. I understand what you're feeling. It's strange, isn't it?
 
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kitty_cat_lover

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yea, it is strang sometime's. I'm glad o know someone understands that feeling. you know, sometime's I wish I could talk to one my parunts...but I don't like talking to ym dad and my mom would just....she would just go on and on about how I shouldn't feel htis way because I have a great lfie and blah blah blah. there really idn't anyone in my family who understand's. the only person who I've ever emt who's felt that way is my on-line sister-like firend, Nikki. Her mom's and idiot who belong's in jail.
 

jugen

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Oh babe, things will get better, I promise, those feelings will get better. It's just..... I don't know, pent up frustration? stress? tension? all of the above?
If you need to just do what I do and have that good cry, it makes a world of difference...
and as far and your friend, I have a great friend that I talk to also. She and I consider each other therapists for the other. It's nice to have someone to talk to that you can trust.
You're parents are just doing what they think is right by you, that's all. Don't be angry with them. They are trying. It's hard being a parent too you know...
 
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kitty_cat_lover

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Originally Posted by jugen

Oh babe, things will get better, I promise, those feelings will get better. It's just..... I don't know, pent up frustration? stress? tension? all of the above?
If you need to just do what I do and have that good cry, it makes a world of difference...
and as far and your friend, I have a great friend that I talk to also. She and I consider each other therapists for the other. It's nice to have someone to talk to that you can trust.
You're parents are just doing what they think is right by you, that's all. Don't be angry with them. They are trying. It's hard being a parent too you know...
your eally nice, you know that? and your right, it must be had...but sometime's I can't help butbe annoyed by my mom when she's alway's on my butt when we're around the people on my dad's sde of the family. sometime's I feel like I HAVE to be perfecta round them and her. and your right, crying does make a world of diffrence. some people sya it's stupid to cry, but sometime's after I stop crying into ym pillow, or my cat(he's such a good cat...he never midn's when I jsut curl up with him and cry into him), I feel soooo much better. Screeming into my pillow also helps when I can't bottle up all the anger I sometime's feel. I hate how life is sometimes...but I jsut stick with my little phrase, "Everything happen's for a reason". I believe that(one of the few thing's I believe in), because, for exsample, after my whole naghber thing ended, I changed. I used to be easily bossed around, now I'm not. or like when I used to be teased for being really bad at apselling, I used to have a wild temper, but I learned ot controll it. And I am so glad I have my friend Nikki, be cause with out her I think I'd jsut give up on everything. The computer is my salvation now and day's, so is music and typeing. There are three thing's that help me get my feeling's out and feel better:c rying, screeming, and writeing down what I feel, then destroying it. But yea, life really is hard and sometime's I feel liek i'm alway's getting hard ball's throughn at me....for awhile I really did consider gfiveing up, then I met nikki...and everyone else I know, from here, to meany other forum's i'm on. I really felt like I'd found the place i could belong to...even though I still cry someitme's. There's one thing I hate though: bottleing thing;'s up? dontcha jsut hate doing that soemtimes? I do it allt he time though....what i want to sya I kee shut inside my head, I keep my feeling's bottled up and just act cheery. The only time I'm hardly ever really cheery around peope is during christmas time....which is why I had seeing that time end. I also hate people who try and make people perfect ad fallow the rule's. the site I emt my friend on used to be my favret place...now I avoid it, because hting's where so limeted(pluse they kept me from tlaking to my friend during christmas break). I've only known her a year, but I feel like I've known ehr for...ever. Like she's alway's been there, and I jsut never notessed, but I'm glad she's there, and I'm glad all my other firend's are there to. it mean's the world to me.


KCL, A.K.A., Stephanie.
 

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Yes, I do understand! It usually helps to remember that our folks are only people, mortal beings, but it still hurts, no matter what age you are. Lately, I've been frustrated because I had to drive alot last month ( I put 6,000 mi. on a rental car in less than a month) and I really needed a pay-off, such as listening to my favorite tunes while I drove. And both my husband, and my mom, won't let me listen to my music when I'm driving, and when they're driving they get to choose what gets played, because THEY'RE THE DRIVER
And I'm almost 49!!! And when I try to speak up, I get told, "Everything isn't about you, you know"...
 
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kitty_cat_lover

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Originally Posted by catsknowme

Yes, I do understand! It usually helps to remember that our folks are only people, mortal beings, but it still hurts, no matter what age you are. Lately, I've been frustrated because I had to drive alot last month ( I put 6,000 mi. on a rental car in less than a month) and I really needed a pay-off, such as listening to my favorite tunes while I drove. And both my husband, and my mom, won't let me listen to my music when I'm driving, and when they're driving they get to choose what gets played, because THEY'RE THE DRIVER
And I'm almost 49!!! And when I try to speak up, I get told, "Everything isn't about you, you know"...
Oh! I HATE that! my mom ALWAYS pick's the music. some music I like...and some time's it's like "SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME EAR PLUGS!"! and I HATE that "everything isn't sbout you, you know" thing! I also hate "your ot young ot understand". those are so annoying! I hate being treated like I'm four year's old, or that I'm as imeture as one! it's most annoying, which is why I'm hopeing beyon everything to egt a CD player for christmas(and some CD's with my favret song's on it.) so I can listen to it in the car....>> and maybe some desent head phones. that's another thing that bother's me: I can never get a good computer! either it was my dad's or he built it! We can never buy one(I blame that no-good-dirty-rotten-money-stealing man my aunt married)...and I'm alway's stuck with my dad's old headphones!(though the one's I have now are ok, I guess.). see, this is why I love cat's so much..they don't jug you, or make me feel like I have to be perfect all the time!

Stephanie.
 

catsknowme

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Oh, yeah, the ol' "you're too young to understand" is SOOO patronizing!! I try to not do that to my grandson, I try to identify with what he is feeling, and acknowledge not only his feelings, but his perspective. sometimes I learn from HIM!
and he's only 9! I hope that you get your CD player & headphones for Christmas! Think of what joy it would bring your folks to give you something that you would cherish so much!
And music is very soothing/uplifting/etc.
 

jane_vernon

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Just remember that your kitties are the best friends you can have!! They are always understanding and love you no matter what (Well, except for if your late in feeding them!)

I know how you feel and there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. Keep you chin up and remember that TCS is always here for you if you need us!
 
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kitty_cat_lover

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it is! ^^ so is playing vidio games! :p I can take out all my anger on the bad guy's! We're also moveing now, so I get to help tair down the wall paper in the new house....more fun! But yea, music does help me, especily music that matched my mood at the time. But seiriously, I love vidio game's and i'll NEVER stop syaing "thank you!" to ym grandparunt;s for getitng my my gamecube! It help's , exspectily when I'm ticked off at my dad. I get mad at him alot. It;'s weird, we're so much alike, and eyt I can never see eye to eye with him. I don't hate him but...to put it frankly: he's a pain int he behind sometimes! especily with that...game of his...god I hate thta thing!! someimte's i feel like it's more importunt to him then me...it alway's come's first, if i want to play a gmae or watch a movie with him, it has t be when he doesn't have a stupid match or isn't bissy....and ot has ot be when HE want's to, not when I want to. sometime's...I jsut want to screem out how I feel....just screem at everyone who's ever hurt me....jsut to cry, but that's not gonna happen....beside's, what's the point? then no one would ever leave me alone. oi. you know what I wish? that other people could understands what other's got hrough and just..be there. I wish wpeople could exspept people and exsept there best. Soemtime's I feel like my best...is never good enough for my dad....ever. I mean, never. I try so hard...but he NEVER understands. I mean, sometime's like I can't do good thing's good enough for him..like in math! I have the math skills of a three year old sometimes!...and I have bad memory, sot hat doesn't help...and neitehr does the fact that I'm alway' bottleing up the feeling to cry when I feel liek i've disapoiinted him, or annoying him...or anything. When ever I'm really sad I draw. alway's, I put on music that fit's my mood and start drawing something. I want to be a comic maker when I grow up, the grahic novle kind..and I want to be a jernalist, and a animal right's activest..and a book writer in my spare time!

Just remember that your kitties are the best friends you can have!! They are always understanding and love you no matter what (Well, except for if your late in feeding them!)

I know how you feel and there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. Keep you chin up and remember that TCS is always here for you if you need us!
*smiles* yea, I know, and I'm glad! that another hting i keep in mind, "keep our chin up."! ^^
 

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Yeah I've felt like that. I still do from time to time. Yes, some people call it depression, but everyone feels like that from time to time - it's all just part of being human. I learned from my experience with it - I was given a medication for depression and it reall did make me very very sick. I'd rather put up with feeling blue than feeling ill like that - seems that no-one is happy these days unless they have a "label" for how they feel without taking into consideration that sometimes what they feel is totally normal.

As for feeling blue sweetie, I know exactly what it's like to feel like a failure in your father's eyes. Mine is exactly the same. I can do everything I'm capable of and yet there is always a "but". I'm a creative person by nature too, and my math stinks. I studied really long and hard and I struggled so much to make the grade I did in math - and when I did I was so pleased with myself for having achieved three grades higher in the exam than I had been in normal circumstances. But it wasn't good enough. In the end, I learned to shut out what my father thought and the things he said.

Keep your chin up, keep on drawing, and you'll find it does get easier
 

gailc

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Have you ever thought about starting a journal to get your thoughts down on paper??
Sometimes writing it down is better than keeping all those feelings built up inside you.
 

blueyedgirl5946

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I am sorry you are having this problem. Do you have any adult, like a pastor, family member or older brother or sister you could unload some of your feelings with. We will be praying for you.
 

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Have you ever sat down with your parents and told them how they make you feel? I bet they'd really like to know, because they're probably clueless. I understand that you probably don't feel comfortable doing that, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it could make!

Sometimes when something makes me sad and I feel like I need to cry, I will play some really sad music and just bawl it all out. When the music stops, it's time to wash my face and move on. It really makes you feel better. I think all of us spend a lot of time trying not to cry when something is really bothering us; trying to pretend it's not there. It feels good to acknowledge it, and let yourself cry. The key is to not let yourself be mopey or short-tempered because of it, and to get it out (at least for the day) during your crying session. It's sort of like...(this is icky, but..) it's sort of like when you're sick and you know you're going to vomit, you keep feeling it but not actually doing anything, so if you make yourself vomit to get it over with, you feel a lot better. When something's bothering me, it's always in the back of my head and if I think about it for too long, I will get teary, so I get it out when I can so I'm not feeling it all day.

If you are sad for no reason (or your reason is "everything"), or are feeling this way for prolonged amounts of time, I'd say you should get help. It's not normal or healthy to be sad like that. I'm not saying you should wake up feeling chipper with rainbows and sunshine swirling around in your room, but you should feel peaceful and content--NOT sad or like: "UGH, another day..."

 

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I have felt that way often - more so in my teens than I do now, but I still get it sometimes. It is hard to convey how one feels to others, especially if you are just unique enough and others have a hard time understanding. I agree that most of us feel this way at some point.

Parents really don't have a clue as to what is going on with you. I still have keen memories of not being understood by my parents, and now as an adult I sometimes wonder about teenagers I meet - the two groups are just so different! Your parents do love you, and want you to be reasonably happy - maybe they can't show that, but they do. It's easy to feel alone when you are in a house with two people who are so personally invested in you that it colors every interaction you have, though.

I would say, just keep trudging along, hug your cats, talk to your one friend who understands. One of my favorite sayings is "this, too, shall pass" because everything does, if you wait and act if you feel you need to. You will understand yourself better as time goes on, and that will make it easier to communicate with others how you feel.

And sometimes, truth be told, my own feelings are just that - my own. It's funny, but the "absolute understanding" I was hoping for, even in my marriage, just doesn't happen. It's not a bad thing, but we are all limited by our own experiences. I have kind of learned to treasure some things that only I feel or experience - they are my little "secrets."

You are OK!! I promise!
 

wellingtoncats

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I did read your first post - but I couldn't read the rest because of the paragraphing and it makes my eyes super blurry.


Course, most of us would have felt like that at same stage. Hope you talk to someone about this.
 

kathylou

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I sure have felt like that. Like when I was in the women's shelter and my mother died. At the shelter everyody told us what to do, and the thing was NOTHING really worked. I ended up just having to work everything out by myself. I ended up with a changed viewpoint of the world.
 
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kitty_cat_lover

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Originally Posted by GailC

Have you ever thought about starting a journal to get your thoughts down on paper??
Sometimes writing it down is better than keeping all those feelings built up inside you.
As a matter of fact, I just started my own privet online one a cuple of day's ago. And yea, it is. I can say what ever I want and no one will ever see it.

Yeah I've felt like that. I still do from time to time. Yes, some people call it depression, but everyone feels like that from time to time - it's all just part of being human. I learned from my experience with it - I was given a medication for depression and it reall did make me very very sick. I'd rather put up with feeling blue than feeling ill like that - seems that no-one is happy these days unless they have a "label" for how they feel without taking into consideration that sometimes what they feel is totally normal.

As for feeling blue sweetie, I know exactly what it's like to feel like a failure in your father's eyes. Mine is exactly the same. I can do everything I'm capable of and yet there is always a "but". I'm a creative person by nature too, and my math stinks. I studied really long and hard and I struggled so much to make the grade I did in math - and when I did I was so pleased with myself for having achieved three grades higher in the exam than I had been in normal circumstances. But it wasn't good enough. In the end, I learned to shut out what my father thought and the things he said.

Keep your chin up, keep on drawing, and you'll find it does get easier
yea, I shut him out alot to...and sometime's, when he's giveing one of his three day like lecture's I walk away. *Sigh's* he's a great dad...but sometime's I wish he'd just shut up about the thing's I did wrong and actuely say soemthing about what I did right. And yea, I'd rather feel blue then ill. still...I wish I got more along with my dad, and maybe be able to talk to him. I don't really like talking to my mom about how I feel. >> last time I tried to talk to her the subject went off course. I've given up since then. I've never felt cumfertable around people, exsept for my grandparunts. I used to love to go over and spend the weekend there....and then my aunt moved in with ehr kid's and that blew up in my face. Meh. she has to move out sometime anyway. But yea, I've made a vow to my self to make him proud of me someday...oo'' even if it mean's working my butt off. >> I so miss kindergarden and it's easy math....

Have you ever sat down with your parents and told them how they make you feel? I bet they'd really like to know, because they're probably clueless. I understand that you probably don't feel comfortable doing that, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it could make!

Sometimes when something makes me sad and I feel like I need to cry, I will play some really sad music and just bawl it all out. When the music stops, it's time to wash my face and move on. It really makes you feel better. I think all of us spend a lot of time trying not to cry when something is really bothering us; trying to pretend it's not there. It feels good to acknowledge it, and let yourself cry. The key is to not let yourself be mopey or short-tempered because of it, and to get it out (at least for the day) during your crying session. It's sort of like...(this is icky, but..) it's sort of like when you're sick and you know you're going to vomit, you keep feeling it but not actually doing anything, so if you make yourself vomit to get it over with, you feel a lot better. When something's bothering me, it's always in the back of my head and if I think about it for too long, I will get teary, so I get it out when I can so I'm not feeling it all day.

If you are sad for no reason (or your reason is "everything"), or are feeling this way for prolonged amounts of time, I'd say you should get help. It's not normal or healthy to be sad like that. I'm not saying you should wake up feeling chipper with rainbows and sunshine swirling around in your room, but you should feel peaceful and content--NOT sad or like: "UGH, another day..."
no, I don't feel like "ugh, another day"...though I do feel something simaler when I wake up on a dya that something I'm dreding comes(like dentest apointments!). and yea, crying does help alot sometimes. for me it real work's. and about the parunt's thing, I wish I could but I jsut....couldn't. it's just to hard to speak to thema nd REALLY get to the point of how I'm feeling. >> pluse it's ahrd speaking over my dad's three day like lecture's. I swear that man has them all planned out for EVERYTHING.

I am sorry you are having this problem. Do you have any adult, like a pastor, family member or older brother or sister you could unload some of your feelings with. We will be praying for you.
*Sigh*
I might of...if my boona(great grandma) where still alive. she was so awsome and understanding. and, sadly, I'm an only child, but I still have my sister-like friend Nikki. ^^ she's alway's there for me, and I'm alway's there for her.

I have felt that way often - more so in my teens than I do now, but I still get it sometimes. It is hard to convey how one feels to others, especially if you are just unique enough and others have a hard time understanding. I agree that most of us feel this way at some point.

Parents really don't have a clue as to what is going on with you. I still have keen memories of not being understood by my parents, and now as an adult I sometimes wonder about teenagers I meet - the two groups are just so different! Your parents do love you, and want you to be reasonably happy - maybe they can't show that, but they do. It's easy to feel alone when you are in a house with two people who are so personally invested in you that it colors every interaction you have, though.

I would say, just keep trudging along, hug your cats, talk to your one friend who understands. One of my favorite sayings is "this, too, shall pass" because everything does, if you wait and act if you feel you need to. You will understand yourself better as time goes on, and that will make it easier to communicate with others how you feel.

And sometimes, truth be told, my own feelings are just that - my own. It's funny, but the "absolute understanding" I was hoping for, even in my marriage, just doesn't happen. It's not a bad thing, but we are all limited by our own experiences. I have kind of learned to treasure some things that only I feel or experience - they are my little "secrets."

You are OK!! I promise!
you have a point, indeed. I really hope everything will pass and, when we move into this new hosue, that thing's will change.

Y'all are aswome,
KCL.
 
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