thankyou everyone for all the birthday wishes - that means a lot to me.
As far as days go.... it's been quiet. And I've just recieved news that I'm not going to be able to speak to my son any more. His father and step-mum have very good reasons for asking me not to call - it's too upsetting for Alex, it's disrupts his behaviour and he gets very easily upset and irritable, and starts wetting himself. He does so well in between times that I call.... and then I call, and he suffers for a week or so with all these problems. He's settled down really really nicely - I hear lots of news from my mum about him doing so well in school and I'm going to get photos of his this week too. So I've been asked if I would mind not phoning... and just write him instead. I know how hard it is to be a parent, so I don't want to make life any more difficult for anyone through me being selfish - yes I dearly want to talk to him and hear his little voice, but I don't want to put HIM through that trauma. What kind of a mother would I be if I said that I didn't care what trouble he had, just so I could talk to him? I love him with every fibre of my being.... it's why I let him go somewhere where he was going to get better than i could give him... and let's face it... it's far better to break my heart than his. I wanted so badly to talk to him tonight..... but I'm not going to be able to. So I guess, for a few years, I won't be able to call him, or see him - I'm just going to ahve to write and hope that once he's old enough to read it for himself, he will.
So I have one birthday wish - Please say a prayer for my little boy.... and hope that God tells him his mummy misses him with all of her heart and soul - and loves him more than words would ever be able to tell him.
Thankyou.
So I have one birthday wish - Please say a prayer for my little boy.... and hope that God tells him his mummy misses him with all of her heart and soul - and loves him more than words would ever be able to tell him.
Thankyou.