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Divorce took away 1 cat

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Upon my ex-wife moving out, she took 1 of our 4 cats. They all got along great together before. Any advice on whether it would be wise to add a kitten to the mix? Or should I wait a while to let the 3 left get used to not having the 4th?

I have 2 3-1/2 year old males (feral rescues and littermates) and a 2 year old tabby female. All are altered. When we got the 4th (he's about 1 1/2 years old now) he was very young and barely weaned from the mother (a bit younger than I would have preferred to take home- but one of the 2 males took him on as a "queen mother" and taught him all the ropes including stimulating/teaching litter habits, cleaning habits, etc.

In fact, when we got the female tabby, she was 8 weeks old (still a bit younger than I would have liked) and the same male took on as a "mother" with her too. When we got the youngest male (the one now gone) the female tabby held some resentment because she wasn't the baby anymore, but they grew VERY close- they played quite a bit (and swapped roles as "hunter" and "prey".

Any ideas?
post #2 of 9
Boogie - how long has it been since this change took place? And how are the others adjusting at this time?
post #3 of 9
Thread Starter 
It has only been a few days. Loki (the "relocated" one) moved with my ex-wife this past monday. It's hard to say how the others are adjusting. They all have been extremely affectionate (the female had hip displaysia, but we fixed both hips in the past year or so- so she's becoming more and more social- she's always been a shy "hider").

I may be unintentionally reading their behavior for more than what it is, but they seem to be "looking" for Loki- doing things like asking to get into closed closets, asking to play more than usual, etc.

Perhaps it is just that I miss my youngest cat- as he was the most social in the group, not to mention the only one that had a routine of laying on laps (the others lay on laps, but only for short periods and even then it is periodic- depending on when they feel the need/want for affection).
post #4 of 9
To be honest, when you bring another cat into an already established home, it can go either way. They are all pretty set in thier ways and they will either learn to live with a new addition or make it's life miserable. There's no real way to tell unless you bring one home.
I think they will adjust to thier sister being gone in time, but if it's you who would like to have a 4th kitty then I would give it a go. I would probably pick a young one though. It seems to make the introductions a little easier. In the last 3 years my family of felines has grown to 12. I have some that get along all the time and some that try and avoid each other.
Divorce is hard on everyone, kitties included. I hope everyone is holding up okay.
post #5 of 9
Sandie gives great advice. Let us know what you decide!
post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 
Being that I have introduced new kittens to the household twice now, I doubt I'd have a problem bringing a newcomer (in the future). What I was wondering is whether the timing would be bad- as the feline residents are stressed enough with all the moving of my ex-wife's thing out of the house and the loss of one companion cat. Would it be best to wait until the household settles and the remaining cats settle down? Or would it even make a difference?
post #7 of 9
Just my 2 cents ..... I would wait a little while and let the brood quiet down. I am sorry that you and the critters are missing the young one. I hope that you all feel better soon.
post #8 of 9
I too would probably give them a few months before you bring a lil' one home. Cats don't like change very much and too much at one time could cause some real problems. I waited about 3 months after moving before I brought a new one home and everything went fairly normal.
post #9 of 9
Hi. Sorry about the divorce and losing the one kitty.

I would advise getting a kitten. When one of mine recently crossed the bridge, my other cat was looking for her everywhere and meowing trying to call her. Being a Siamese she was quite vocal about her loss.

After about 10 days I went and got a tortie kitten from the local shelter. My Siamese has taken on the role of the mother and protector. They cuddle and play together great since day one. Now I'm thinking of getting a third.

I would say it is safer to bring in a young kitten since it will not pose too much of a threat in the seniority of the other cats. They will most likely adopt her quickly.

Hugs and Purrs, Dorina
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