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Payback for all the blonde jokes

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
For all the men who like to send blonde jokes.

1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

2. Why did the man cross the road?

He heard the chicken was a slut.

3. Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

4. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They don't stop and ask for directions.

5. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer.

6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?

The bonds mature.

7. Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

Who knows? It has never happened.

9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They already have boyfriends.

10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

11. When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.

12. Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

13. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

14. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They're married.

15. Man says to God:
"God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

post #2 of 16
post #3 of 16
Good one Ady, as usual!!! Maybe I should send this to my hubby at work??
post #4 of 16
Those were great. Think I may send them on to hubby.
post #5 of 16
Hey now, I have to disagree with #8. It's the other way around in our house.:tounge2: And I must be one of the men in #1, b/c I'm the one that does the dishes.

post #6 of 16
You do dishes!!! I hope your wife realizes how lucky she is!!!
Can I borrow you? I have a sink full now! :laughing:

That was a great one, Ady!
post #7 of 16
Yep. I'm getting ready to go do them here in a little bit.

post #8 of 16
Now that's the most romantic thing I've heard in a long time!!!

More men should realize that offering to do the dishes is a big turn on!!! :LOL:

Seriously, I would feel more like doing something special for my hubby if he would do a few things like that, once in awhile.
post #9 of 16
I tell the S/O that all the time! That I can't resist him when he does the dishes! :laughing:
post #10 of 16
HAHA! Vacuuming is also quite sexy... :laughing:
post #11 of 16
Why don't guys get it that helping out around the house is sexy??!?!?!
post #12 of 16
Vaccuuming......IN THE NUDE!! Sorry. Couldn't help myself there.

post #13 of 16
I'll take the help any way that I can get it!
post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
I've got to admit I lucked out in the guy department. My hubby cooks dinner every might & does all of the vacuuming. He is a neat freak, so if he wants something cleaned a certain way he knows he has to do it himself! It is great not having to cook - I do the dishes though as it is only fair when he cooks.
post #15 of 16
Hahaha! I love #4 and #8...it so true. lol
post #16 of 16
Originally posted by Dan3:16
Vaccuuming......IN THE NUDE!! Sorry. Couldn't help myself there.


Like I said, Can I borrow you???? Hahahahah
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