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Maybe I should give up with keeping both?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
How do I know when to just say this isnt working?
Trix and Bella are fighting all the time now.. fur flying, yeowling, chasing the whole bit. I am worn out from it.. We live in a smaller 2 bed apt and its thrown my once peaceful house into chaos. A quiet, Sat morning has been awful so far as Trix wasnt out of her room 10 min before she found Bella alseep on my bed and went over there -- to play or sniff or whatever and my bedroom was a war zone until I finally separated them and closed the door to my bedroom. Bella is now under the bed and has missed her AM meds becuase whenever I get close to her she hisses. Trix is following me around the house meowing cuz she wants to play or what?! I have given her every toy and tree and treat I can think of.

And everyone's advice is different about this and I dont know what to do. I called my vet this AM and the vet tech to watch them while I am home, separate them while I am away, dont let them fight too vigourously. I have read here & in replies to my posts to just let Trixie out and they will figure out who is alpha. And my vet says it will take 3-6 months and Bella just has to accept it - no right or wrong way to do it. But how much fighting is too much? I cant have the constant fur flying fights all day long. They were fighting/staring/stalking last night for 2 hrs until I finally said enough. My apt is too small for me to really stay out of it.

What are the signs that these 2 wont ever be able to share space? Will they get sick of fighting? Bella has such a sweet disposition but whenever Trix is in the room she wont eat/get out of her bed which cant be good. She relaxes at night when its just her and I.

No one is really the agressor per say -- Bella just wants to be left ALONE and would be fine if Trix just stayed 3 ft away from her all the time, or backed off when she hissed. I can see she is tired (she sleeps ALL day) and just wanted to sleep quietly. Trixie wants to PLAY and I think is more social.. Maybe I should seriously think about sending Trix back .. I hate to do it, but I have a very stressful job and cant come home and have full fledged cat fights all night and day (I could tell after work last night they had been fighting during the day). Sorry.. I am just at the end of my rope with this.
post #2 of 6
I am assuming both your cats our female. BIG mistake. As a general rule it is best to only have one female per household. You can have more but expect to have some problems. It seems that males (neutered) get along great even in small apartments and you can have as many males as your house will hold but females dont seem to get along very well together. I personally only like male cats but I am thinking of getting a female but never more then one. That being said You will just have to be patient and eventually one will become dominant and things should calm down but this wont happen overnight.
post #3 of 6
I have to disagree. I have three females in my house, and they were there together before all but one of my males. They had their usual hissing issues at first, but so did my boys. Lasted a day or so with occasional squabbles now and again (mainly just a hiss and a swipe) for a few weeks, then everyone was fine. I think it depends more on the cat's personality than the gender.

Maybe consider getting a little playmate for Trixie? Then she'll have someone to wrestle around with and keep her entertained, and she'll let poor Bella alone. I do agree to give it time, however. Sometimes it can take up to a year with particularly ornrery cats.
post #4 of 6
Jefffur- if you can bring Trix to me, I will take her-

you can reach me via email maryanne@thecatsite.com or maryanne@meowhoo.com
post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 
Thanks hissy -- I sent you an email.

I was told to maybe re-introduce, but not sure if thats a good solution? I cant afford $$ and space wise to have another kitty. Tirixe isnt THAT energetic but compared to Bella who hardly plays at all, she is. Trix definitely needs some interactive playtime and was raised with brothers/sisters, so maybe misses all the interaction.
Both kitties came from homes with other cats and were nicely socialized (from their paperwork) so should I just keep going and see if they work it out? I dont get it.
post #6 of 6
Sometimes cats can sense when their owners are stressed out, I know it's hard but it might help if you can stay calm during the cat fights. I've lectured my cats in the past "We all have to live here-deal with it!" It's worth a try.
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