helping a grieving cat

Tom and Kata are very attached to each other.
Tom has been very sick so he's been at the vet for 2 days.
Kata has changed.. she's meowing alot more than usual. I found her yesterday night in the middle of my garden meowing like crazy and she didn't want to come inside. She's been searching the rooms too, not alot but I have noticed her going from room to room looking around. She's also a bit nervous.

I'm worried when Tom passes away [which will be soon.. he's 15 years old] she's going to have an awful time.

Besides giving her affection, can I do anything else?

I have read that some cats get depressed and some cats hide. I'm trying to think of ways to prevent this, not prevent it completely because she needs to grieve, but I wouldn't like her to become severely depressed. I want to help her when this happens.

When I had to had my beloved Siamese PTS our other cat was very upset, she had only known life with him, I found Rescue Remedy helped a lot.Then we got a kitten, mainly for her, she just sat about looking depressed. I couldn't face one that looked like him, so we got a Black Oriental. A few months later we got another ( a Tabby Maine Coon X) and she is fine she seems to enjoy watching them play.
hope all goes well
Anne

Originally Posted by Anakat

When I had to had my beloved Siamese PTS our other cat was very upset, she had only known life with him, I found Rescue Remedy helped a lot.Then we got a kitten, mainly for her, she just sat about looking depressed. I couldn't face one that looked like him, so we got a Black Oriental. A few months later we got another ( a Tabby Maine Coon X) and she is fine she seems to enjoy watching them play.
hope all goes well
Anne

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I agree, the best remedy for depression is a kitten of the opposite sex. Dont wait to long to get the kitten even if you are sad and dont want to "replace" your other cat. It is a hard thing to do but dont think of yourself and your grief/think of your cat that is still alive and his/her well being. My parents waited 6 months to get a new kitten after our cat mindy died and our other cat rusty was depressed and he got a little weird. It is best to get the kitten in a couple of weeks at the latest. Good luck and I hope your kitty lives many more years.

Seriously, just put her on your lap and talk to her. Tell her what is going on- take a toy into the vet with you and put it in the cage with Tom, or a small piece of cloth. Then take the cloth back home and give it to kata she will take comfort in it. She will know when he passes away, they just do. They even know before we do that something has happened to their feline friend so she may just be trying to prepare you as well.

Aww, what an awful situation to be in. You do need to make sure she doesn't stop eating when she is grieving though, even if you resort to hand feeding her. Good luck, and I hope she isn't too bad. How old is Kata? I would'nt get a single kitten for an elderly cat, I think it would be too much for them.

I agree with Hissy - have a good talk with your girl and let her know you are grieving too. I also agree with booktigger - not a good idea to get a kitten when you have an elderly grieving cat. The last thing they need is a young spunky kitten in their face when they are feeling down.

Like humans, the grieving process is different in every cat. I have seen some show no grief symptoms, some grieve for a short time, and others have grieved for years.

It will help both of you to share Tom's loss with each other. You are challenged to find ways to help Kata get thru hers and thus a distraction for you, and she to find ways to help you for similar reasons. Sometimes its just a matter of regaining as much normalcy and routine that you can find. Let Kata be your guide.

*hugs* to you at this time.

thank you so much.
I can't really get another kitten, I have 5 [well 4 when tom passes away] and I need to find a home for 2 more. So its not possible.
But I will talk to her and give a small piece of cloth with tom's smell to her.
She's not very old, she's 5 but she decided to ignore all my other cats and get completely attached to Tom.
On saturday night, when tom came back home, Kata was the happiest cat in the world, she followed him everywhere with her tail up, she kept rubbing against him and purring.. and even though Tom was scared at first [he was a bit out of it and didn't recognise her] he sniffed her and after a while he was ok with her being all over him.
It was sweet

I think when tom passes away, Kata and I will lean on each other.
book tiger: I will make sure she eats, I'll buy her anything she wants if she ends up not eating.

Hissy: I think you are right that my cats know something will happen, most of them pretty much detached from tom [they have never been friends but they started not even noticing he's around now, they are letting go of him] and kata seems more clingy...
they have always respected tom, but max used to swat him ever so often... now that toms sick, max is gentle around him and doesn't do anything.

Its incredible the way cats act.. they seem like any animal but they are such complex creatures that comunicate so much without talking.

What sweet kitties you have, so devoted to each other! It's wonderful that they have such a deep bond, and I know you and Kata will bring each other through when the time comes. But oh, I hope Tom has a few more years with you.

Y'know, some people think humans are the only ones who have souls. I'll bet those people have never really known a cat.

Or a dog, either.