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Thursday's Funny.

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my

On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
(The shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for
this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My
post #2 of 6
post #3 of 6
Those are hilarious! I especially like the one about the Fritos and how you could win even if you don't buy them. :laughing:
post #4 of 6
HAhahahahaaha!!! I've seen that before but that last one about the chain saw and the genitals cracks me up!!! WHat the!??!?!?!?! HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
post #5 of 6
This sounds like comedian Bill Engvall's routines. Like the blow dryer instructions: "do not use in the shower". Consumer Reports has a new book out, with wierd advertising copy and usage instructions. As soon as I track down a copy, will post info. Readers' Digest is good, for this sort of thing, too.:LOL:
post #6 of 6
I got that in an e-mail once...it is funny! The thing that always kills me is that they always have those warnings on soap, shampoo, etc, that says, For External Use Only...I wonder what dumby would try to eat it!!
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