Can I get some catsite magic?

My husband and I are going through many marital problems. We were having problems anyway, just not being on the same wavlength and age difference, many disagreements escalating into fights. Recently I found some things on his computer (I won't go into detail), that I'm not sure I can forgive. I just wonder if I can get some good thoughts and vibes that I will make the right decisions for everyone involved, especially since we have a daughter who turns 2 at the end of november. Thanks.

Originally Posted by MommaLori

My husband and I are going through many marital problems. We were having problems anyway, just not being on the same wavlength and age difference, many disagreements escalating into fights. Recently I found some things on his computer (I won't go into detail), that I'm not sure I can forgive. I just wonder if I can get some good thoughts and vibes that I will make the right decisions for everyone involved, especially since we have a daughter who turns 2 at the end of november. Thanks.

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I am so sorry to hear that. I have been having similar problems with my husband. Keep your head up. Things will get better, but first you have to talk to him. Did you tell him what you found? Have you tried counseling?

Sorry things are so rough for ya. Lots of {{vibes}} coming your way.

Originally Posted by emb_78

I am so sorry to hear that. I have been having similar problems with my husband. Keep your head up. Things will get better, but first you have to talk to him. Did you tell him what you found? Have you tried counseling?

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Yes we talked about it, and we've thought about counselling before, but when it comes down to it, it never happens for one reason or another... I really think some time apart would help us sort out our own emotions, and then counseling. but I'm so worried about our baby....

Originally Posted by MommaLori

Yes we talked about it, and we've thought about counselling before, but when it comes down to it, it never happens for one reason or another... I really think some time apart would help us sort out our own emotions, and then counseling. but I'm so worried about our baby....

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If it is ok with you. Why don't you email me while the PM is down. [email protected] I think you and I have a lo in common...

{{{Prayers & vibes}}} coming your way! And, how bout taking a break from worrying about it all, and just enjoying your time with us! My hubby & I have a rough go of it, too, I think that it didn't help that he was 50 when we got married, he really is so used to being alone; also, I'm very open & affectionate, and my previous 2 bfs were the same way, but my hubby can be very cold & distant (only to the wife; I knew him for 11 years & publicly he's very warm & outgoing). And even though he's only 4 years older, it seems more like 20! He hates my music! But, he's just one facet of my life, and the more I live & learn, the more I realize that.
I hope that he realizes that most daughters do better when they have a good father/daughter relationship; they are less likely to be sexually active at a young age and they tend to accomplish more in life. getting men to put family first is quite a challenge, sometimes. Hugs, Susan

Originally Posted by ugaimes

I'm so sorry

. My specialty is helping people in abusive relationships (hopefully that doesn't apply to you), but I'm here to listen and help if I can if you ever need it

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{{{{I hope things get better soon.}}}} It can be a miserable and isolating thing, fighting with the one you love

.

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No he is not abusive at least not physically... many times I feel emotionally abused (and know my daughter must too)

My latest rant and worry..My babysitter lives next door ok, Husband usually comes home from work while I'm in class. Now he doesn't get to see her all that much anyway, I would think he would pick her up and bring her home. But he doesn't, half the time he doesn't bother to go see her at all until I go get her and bring her home. My worry? If I leave, even temporarily, is he ever going bother to pick her up and see her? This is hard enough on all of us right now (no matter what the outcome is) without her feeling like she's lost her daddy The problem here is that I have tried to forgive and forget things in the past only to have them start all over.. and I refuse to live the rest of my life being hurt

Sounds like you would benefit from some counselling even if he won't go IMHO. Emotional abuse is very damaging and can leave lasting effects on you AND your daughter. You are his family, not a emotional punching bag. I would suggest you find help for yourself and see what they suggest. If your husband refuses to go then that tells you something too. Best wishes and hugs.

Many wishes and hugs vibes coming to you.

Prayers and good vibes to you..
don´t give it up! ...

I am so sorry! I agree that if you go see a therapist yourself, they can help you work on your self esteem, and help you look clearly at the situation.

Best of luck to you in this difficult situation!

Wishing you all the best and sending you lots of **hugs**..I hope things turn around for you in your life soon

I told him tonight that this last problem is the final straw, and that We are most likely going to need at least a temporary separation. The only problem is me getting a house and being able to pay everything myself, but if I move to town I should be able to work a lot more, because I won't have to run my schedule around "making it worth the drive" I just get so angry the whole time I'm in this house. I think I need to get away where I'm not surrounded by him, so I can figure out my OWN feelings.

Originally Posted by carolcat

Sounds like you would benefit from some counselling even if he won't go IMHO. Emotional abuse is very damaging and can leave lasting effects on you AND your daughter. You are his family, not a emotional punching bag. I would suggest you find help for yourself and see what they suggest. If your husband refuses to go then that tells you something too. Best wishes and hugs.

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What is IMHO?

In My Humble Opinion
Sorry you are having problems. I hope things work out for you.

My husband has been a pastor for almost thirty years. We have helped many couples keep their marriages together. It is not the answer to ask for a temporary separation. You can't work out anything unless you are both living under the same roof. I do hope you find someone you can talk to who can help you. Prayers coming your way.

Ugggh, to top off my wonderful week, My alarm didn't go off and I missed Aurora's spay appointment and had to reschedule it for next Thursday....