divorce

Well, Jim came home the other night and said he doesn't want to be with me any more. He stayed that night but yesterday I brought him a change of clothes at work and told him to find somewhere else to stay. He is here tonight, until a friend of his gets back from out of town on Friday, then he'll stay with his friend. I told him he can sleep in our daughter's room. I am having great restraint in not posting his personal info here, I am very mad at him right now and wish there was some way to hurt him as badly as he has hurt me, though eventually that will pass. I do not want this, but I won't bother trying to make him stay. No good forcing someone to be where they don't want to be. I feel like a complete idiot, thinking that maybe things were going to get better, maybe it was his depression, maybe it was stress from everything. My heart is torn out. Everything I believed was in fact not true. I don't know what I'm going to do, about anything. I'm completely lost.

there isnt really anything i can say, i know. i wanted to tell you i read your post, and i empathize with you...

i'm glad you felt that you could post about this here, this can be a great community of support and caring,
and you have that as my offering if you ever need to vent in private to someone.

in my thoughts,
katie

Oh Allison, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I'm aching for you right now. Things seemed to be looking up for you, I'm so sorry that you've had the rug yanked out from under you. I wish I had the words, but I don't.

We're all here for you

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. In the midst of all of this, be sure to take care of yourself! If you need more than the folks at this site to talk to, by all means, talk to a professional. Also, be sure to take all of that unconditional love that your purrballs offer!
Vikki

First and foremost, take care of yourself and your daughter. If you can, ask around and see if there is a Divorce Recovery class you can go to.They are usually done through a church. I remember when my ex-husband announced on our 10th wedding anniversary that he "no longer wanted to play house." He left the next day "to find himself" and I didn't see him but a year later after hiring a PI to track him down. He was living with my best friend! I was so hurt and stunned, and broken and disillusioned, so I know where you are right now. There is an excellent book out by Dr. James Dobson called "Love Must Be Tough" You might want to order it and read it. You will not only find your husband within those pages, but also yourself, it is an eye-opener to be sure.

I am so very sorry Life has dealt you this hand, but take it one day at a time and try not to get caught up in bitterness. Hugs((((()))))))))

I am so sorry for your pain. My EX-husband came home one day and told me that he did not love me and that he never did and that he had someone else. I was so angry and hurt. Yes, I wanted him to hurt as much as I was, but he never seemed too. Like you, I did not beg for him to stay, did not want him to think that I had to have him, but also did not want someone that did not want me. I got very angry that all my memories and things that were special to me (anniversay gifts, Christmas ornament, etc.) were not, or seemed they were not special anymore. However, 7 years later, it was the best thing that ever happen to me. But, it took a while for me to realize that. Went through several stages. But, I do want you to know it does get better. If you need someone to listen, I'm here.

I'm sorry for what you are going through but I can tell you this. You need to care for yourself and your kid(s). I'm sure you will get over this. I can state that because most of my clients do (I'm a paralegal for a family law attorney). You also have my shoulder to cry on if need be. Anyway, you will get through this. Look at it this way, he lost the best thing that happened to him -- you. His lost somebody else's gaine.

Frannie

I'm so sorry. I've been through it myself, and I know the hurt that you feel. Like the others, I really can't find the 'right' words to say to you right now, but I, too, wanted you to know you have my support and my ear to listen, and my shoulder to cry on if you need it.

Oh, no, Sunlion, I'm so sorry. I knew your husband was depressed, but I didn't realize it had gotten to this point. Please take care of yourself and your daughter. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I would agree with the divorce support group and maybe a good counselor. I am so sorry to hear this. If you need anything, please give me a call. I'm just right down the road and I'm always willing to help. If you need my phone number, just PM me.

Sunlion
I am so very sorry you are going through this. There really isn't anything I can think of to say to you right now. I hope you are able to get some comfort from the posts of others who are here. Take care of yourself and your daughter, we are here for you whenever you need us.

Sunlion....I am so sorry to hear about this!!!! I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know I can't. Just know that we are all here for you, and you WILL make it through this and come out a stronger person for it.
Maybe it is best in the long run....you deserve to be happy, and maybe someday down the road you can find someone who you can be happy with and who truley appreciates the wonderful, kind, caring person that you are.
My hubby and I have had our problems in the past, too. We love each other, but sometimes we aren't as happy as we should be, We argue alot. I was hoping that would get better before I got pregnant.
But we seem to be doing okay, and I just take things one day at a time.
If you need to talk, please PM me or I can give you my phone # and you could call me.
My thoughts are with you tonight, and my prayers.
You have many friends, a daughter and cats who all love you very much.

Sunlion,

I'm sorry to hear about your news Perhaps it is for the best? YOu will get thru it though .... you have everyone here, your family, your daughter & your cats to support you.

Would your hubby be willing to go to counseling?

I am so sorry for you. I know in time this hurt will heal. it took me some time to get over the pain of my divorce and I want you to know, I am here to listen...

I read your post, and sorry to hear you and your hubby were having problems I hope they have gotten better, and I'm sure that once the baby arrives, everything will be better!
HEck, me & hubby argue, too.......... everyone does & it isn't fun

I am very sorry to hear the bad news. I am sure you'll get yourself and your daughter thru this, even though it is so difficult right now for you. We are all here for you if you need us.

I am so sorry that you have to go thru this. It is a time that I am sure you did not want to happen, but you will come out stronger in the end as you are a strong woman. You have your friends here any time you need us. You may feel now that you want to get even with him, but it will make you feel worse in the long run. My friend went thru a similar situation & extracted revenge & now regrets that she sank to his level. Any time you want to talk you can pm me.

I'm so sorry . How long have you been married? Are you established in TX, do you have family support out there? Maybe you should take a trip to visit your family.... I don't know what to say. Depression is a very tough thing to deal with.

I am divorced as well. I was the one who "fell outa love" after being w/him for 12 years and only married for one. It was very hard to go through and man, I feel for ya. It sucks either way you look at it and we are all here for you

MORE THAN ANYTHING TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - you need to be strong for your daughter and yourself.

I also want to add that in the long run, and I know you don't want to hear it now, but my X and I are best of freinds. Not at first, but now, we are, and I think the whole thing made me a better person. And your right, you can't force someone to stay when they are not happy - it just makes things so much worse - you would be miserable. Take care and if you need to talk.......

Sunlion:

I am so sorry to hear of this news. I agree with what others have said. Is your husband willing to get some counseling? So may men aren't. It is sad that he may be making a decision based upon other factors, such as depression, and thinking that the decision to leave will help things.

As a survivor of divorce, I know you have a rough road ahead of you. But there are better days to come. Take things one step at a time, and get some counseling if YOU need it.

Keep the faith.

Sunlion,
I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice for you. But, as other people mentioned, you should look into maybe going to some counseling because that might help somewhat. Just remember that you have your daughter, all of us and your kitties.

Allison,

I am so sorry you are having to face this in your life. I have not been through a divorce but I have been the child in it. I not only went through the divorce of my parents (I was an only child and 3 when the divorce was final, at 3 you wouldn't think I would remeber all the emotions and anger but I do) but of the next two marriages of my father. All were at different lifestages and had a tremendous impact on me. I will say what the others have said, please take care of yourself and keep a strong focus on you daughter. She needs you more than ever right now.

Do you have any kind of support group here in Texas? I know you are not originally from here but from Boston or Massachusets? Are you considering relocating, is that an option for you?

From all the other times you have talked about your husband I gather that this is it and there is nothing he would do to try and work things out?

Please use us to vent, to cry, to do what ever you need to do. We are here for you. If you need to talk on the phone instead of online feel free to pm or email so I and others can talk with you. There are so many of us here that have been involved in divorce one way or another. Our experiences may help you in this.