I am sure that a lot of you recall my issues with my husband and the pets. Well I have some really good news! A couple of weeks ago on a Friday night I had a talk with him where I stayed very calm and rational (usually when I would talk about it I would get very animated, emotional, and frustrated) and told him all the issues and concerns I had about him not compromising on this issue. I know he didn't like what I had to say, he wouldn't talk to me for a full day! Usually when he is like this I really try to push his buttons to get him to talk. This time, after I was finished talking, I just left it alone. Even though he wasn't really talking to me I carried on as normal: "What do you want for dinner," "Tomorrow we need to go here and here," and so forth. Even though this tactic was extremely hard for me because it's not my typical style it worked! That following Monday, he brought the situation up and we actually made some very good process!
I know some of you were thinking it might have been a control issue; I even mentioned this when I talked with him Friday. Well, it's not. It's just a very strong aversion to animal hair, maybe even obsessive compulsive. He pointed out things he had done in the past that I never really paid attention to that showed how much he can't stand the possibility of getting animal hair on him.
Well, he has decided that he does need to compromise but it's going to take a lot of work but I don't care as long as my babies get to be out with me I'll do just about anything. Here is the solution:
The cats will be able to come out of the pet room while we are in the living room, but they can't get on the furniture or go in the kitchen. I told him it wasn't fair for them to not be able to get up on anything and I said that if he wasn't going to give on this then I wanted to get them a cat tree for the living room so they had something that they could be on. He said okay, so now we are in the process of deciding to build one or buy one. So if I want them to be on my lap I have to sit on the floor, I'm okay with that. The hard thing is going to be training them from going in the kitchen and getting on the fabric furniture. I'm going to post in the behavior forum about how I can do this. During the day while I'm at work and he is asleep the window that joins the pet room to the screened in patio is going to be open so they can go from the room to the patio. The window is low enough for them to do this. We've already started this and I can tell that just doing this that Toonces stress level is going down. She has just about stopped pulling the hair out at the base of her tail and it's starting to grow back. She seems much more relaxed when I go to pet and play with them.
Well the only issue left is the dogs. Right now with the way they are the cats wouldn't be able to enjoy being out since whenever they run the dogs start to chase them (I have tried to train them but I guess I'm just not doing it right). So we are going to enroll them in obedience school to learn commands like "stay," "no chase," and "leave it." Libby knows sit and down but she doesn't stay very well and Sam is so bull headed that teaching him has become a nightmare.
All this stuff is going to get underway as soon as I get my income tax return (which should be in the next week or two). I just thought I would share this with all of you. Sorry it's so long but you guys have really been there for me and I am so happy that things are starting to change for the better.
I have also made the cats a cat bed out of the bottom dresser drawer that is in the room. I lined it with a couple of my old T-shirts. They really seem to enjoy it. I'm also going to get a cat tree for the room but I need to get the one for the living room first.
I know some of you were thinking it might have been a control issue; I even mentioned this when I talked with him Friday. Well, it's not. It's just a very strong aversion to animal hair, maybe even obsessive compulsive. He pointed out things he had done in the past that I never really paid attention to that showed how much he can't stand the possibility of getting animal hair on him.
Well, he has decided that he does need to compromise but it's going to take a lot of work but I don't care as long as my babies get to be out with me I'll do just about anything. Here is the solution:
The cats will be able to come out of the pet room while we are in the living room, but they can't get on the furniture or go in the kitchen. I told him it wasn't fair for them to not be able to get up on anything and I said that if he wasn't going to give on this then I wanted to get them a cat tree for the living room so they had something that they could be on. He said okay, so now we are in the process of deciding to build one or buy one. So if I want them to be on my lap I have to sit on the floor, I'm okay with that. The hard thing is going to be training them from going in the kitchen and getting on the fabric furniture. I'm going to post in the behavior forum about how I can do this. During the day while I'm at work and he is asleep the window that joins the pet room to the screened in patio is going to be open so they can go from the room to the patio. The window is low enough for them to do this. We've already started this and I can tell that just doing this that Toonces stress level is going down. She has just about stopped pulling the hair out at the base of her tail and it's starting to grow back. She seems much more relaxed when I go to pet and play with them.
Well the only issue left is the dogs. Right now with the way they are the cats wouldn't be able to enjoy being out since whenever they run the dogs start to chase them (I have tried to train them but I guess I'm just not doing it right). So we are going to enroll them in obedience school to learn commands like "stay," "no chase," and "leave it." Libby knows sit and down but she doesn't stay very well and Sam is so bull headed that teaching him has become a nightmare.
All this stuff is going to get underway as soon as I get my income tax return (which should be in the next week or two). I just thought I would share this with all of you. Sorry it's so long but you guys have really been there for me and I am so happy that things are starting to change for the better.
I have also made the cats a cat bed out of the bottom dresser drawer that is in the room. I lined it with a couple of my old T-shirts. They really seem to enjoy it. I'm also going to get a cat tree for the room but I need to get the one for the living room first.
