5 Week Old Female Vs 5 Month Old Male

jane_vernon said:

I absolutely agree with the person who suggested that your kitties need to stay separated until the boy is neutered and the girl is much bigger and stronger -- but when the time comes, you'll still need to be cautious in bringing them together gradually over a period of a week or so.

I had a very similar situation when I brought my little Pearl home to meet Clyde, who had made it clear to me that he didn't want any other cats around. I more or less used a system I'd read about, with some variations of my own, and it worked beautifully. Here's how it went:

1. First, I clipped everybody's nails nice and short...just in case.

2. Then I spread blankets on the floor of a walk-in closet and let Clyde watch while I set it up with a litterbox, food, water, toys, and a little round bed. I also put in one of those round collapsible mesh laundry containers.

3. Then I brought Pearl in, letting Clyde see me walk past with her. I took her into the closet and spent a few minutes in there with her. When I came out, I made sure to give Clyde plenty of attention and some nice fresh food.

4. During the night, I went into the closet several times to keep Pearl company for a few minutes, and again, I always made a fuss over Clyde when I came out.

5. By this time, Pearl was fond of playing in the mesh laundry container, so she didn't mind when I picked her up in it and brought her out to the living room. Keeping her in the container, I dangled toys and played with her while Clyde watched. After a few minutes, I took her back to her closet and came out and played with Clyde for awhile.

6. The next day, I tipped the mesh container on its side and encouraged Pearl to come out. Clyde came over and sniffed her. She hissed, he batted... but I didn't make a fuss. It's natural for them to test each other that way, and I figured if I got upset, they'd get more excited too. So I stayed cool.

7. Several times the next day, I closed the bedroom door (to keep everybody within reach) and opened Pearl's closet so she and Clyde could choose to encounter each other if they wanted. I sat on the floor and intervened gently if hostilities erupted. I quickly found that I didn't have to physically separate them when they started to fight -- all I had to do was sing! They would stop and watch me, and simply forget to resume their battle. I still use this to calm them. (Gershwin's "Summertime" works especially well.)

8. That night, I left the closet door open while I slept, and there was very little trouble during the night. Emboldened, I threw open the whole house the next day and let them start working things out on their own (although I kept them in view at all times). Within a couple more days, I felt safe in leaving them alone together for an hour or two. Four days later, they had become pals, and I reclaimed my closet.

Through this whole process, I made sure to give Clyde extra love and care, so he would not feel he was being replaced. Even today, a year later, I'm careful to be evenhanded.

And Clyde and Pearl are getting along very well! They do have their nightly kitty rampage, which sometimes tips over into real hostility -- but as long as I keep their claws short, nobody gets hurt. And of course, five minutes after the last screech, they're curled up having a mutual bath together. :-)

I hope all goes well with your babies!

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