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new cat seems afraid of me

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Hi guys!

I've become totally addicted to this site. Here's my question. I've adopted a new cat. She is 1 1/2 year old russian blue max. Before I introduced her to my 2 yr Siamese, she was in the bathroom and very affectionate to me, a little shy but would come over to be petted and would rub up against me. Since being out of the bathroom she seems afraid of me.

She runs away when I get near her and won't let me touch her. The cats are getting along ok some hissing and a couple of loud growls etc. but not too bad. Did I let her out too soon? Do I need to start over to get her to bond with me?

I really don't want her to be a scared of people cat.

Any advice?

Thanks Cynthia
post #2 of 20
I'm not expert by any means, but I had a similar problem when I got my beautiful SunLee. She was not only terrified of me, but of my other cats as well. The wonderful people here at TCS, helped me to get her acclimated to me, my cats and my home. It worked perfectly, and within a couple of weeks, she was completely at home and at ease with me, my other cats and her new home.

I was told to keep her seperated in a different room. I was told not to force her to let me pet her or anything, so I would go in and visit her in her room, and would sit down and read a book. I would say "Hi" to her and tell her how pretty she was, but I didn't try to get her to come to me or to pet her. Sometimes she would come down, very slowly and come to me to be petted. We took it very slow. After about a week, I let her and the other kitties sniff each other through a crack in the door. As she became more and more at ease, I let the kitties come into her room for a little while, if she was comfortable, if not, I'd make them leave. Like I said, it took about two weeks, and then finally, she was completely at ease with me, and then I noticed she wasn't scared of the other cats, so I gave her free roaming rights through out the entire apartment. She was fine, and before you knew it she was playing with my Bengal, Simba.

I would say, just give it time, and don't force her, and keep her seperated so she can get her bearings.
post #3 of 20
How long have you had her? How long was she in the bathroom?

I just adopted a cat last Sunday and she's finally warming up to me. She still runs away when I try to kiss her though. I think it just takes time.....Just be patient. She's just adjusting to everything still. It has been a week and my kit still hasn't figured out there is another room (the bathroom) in my tiny studio apartment!!!
post #4 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by journey
How long have you had her? How long was she in the bathroom?

I just adopted a cat last Sunday and she's finally warming up to me. She still runs away when I try to kiss her though. I think it just takes time.....Just be patient. She's just adjusting to everything still. It has been a week and my kit still hasn't figured out there is another room (the bathroom) in my tiny studio apartment!!!
I've had her since last Thursday. She was in the bathroom for only a few days, but she seemed eager to be out of there.

I'm concerned because when she was in the bathroom she let me pet her but now she runs away from me.

I need to figure out if I should put her back in the bathroom would that increase my chance of getting her to bond with me without her having to deal with all the other issues in the apartment.

Here's her photo I know everyone likes to see pics of kitties[IMG][/IMG]
post #5 of 20
Yes, I think you should put her back in the bathroom for a while. It's probably all of the entire apartment as well as your other cat that is overwhelming her. Just give her time. My SunLee was the most traumatized cat I have ever encountered. I think a lot of it had to do with her arriving on an airplane, which probably scared her, and then having strangers picking her up, and when she got here she was a basket case. I locked her in her own room for about 2 weeks, and now she's the calmest most loving, well adjusted little lady you'd ever want to meet. Just take it slowly. It will work out, and your new kitty will adjust.
post #6 of 20
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
I think you guys are missing the point. She's fine with the other cat. It's me she's afraid of. How do I get her to bond with ME!
post #8 of 20
Just give her space, and don't force her to let you pet her. She will come around. Just do what Hissy says to do, because she will come around in time. She is probably still overwhelmed by all that is new to her. Put her in her own room, and then go in there and read and talk to her, and be patient, she will come to you, when she is ready and feels secure.
post #9 of 20
Thread Starter 
ok i'll give it a try. patience is clearly not my strong suit.
post #10 of 20
Hi I have a R. blue and have 'researched' them a bit... they ARE quite skittish and require you to be extra gentle, quiet, and very patient. She will come around, but needs time. As much as it takes. They're beautiful, sweet cats, but hyper and sensitive, so don't look for her to be nice to you right now, but make her feel as safe as possible, without unexpected loud noises, sudden moves, etc.
post #11 of 20
I have to tell you that Russian Blues can sometimes form very strong bonds with one person only. If you adopted this kitty at 18 months old it could be that she already had an owner she truly loved, and will just take time to get used to you.

They do tend to be one-person cats, so with patience and a lot of leaving her to her own devices (they do like to be left to make up their own minds...!) YOU will probably become that one person.

It's hard, but usually with kitties you have to let them do things in their own time.

Plus, you are used to having a Siamese, who are vocal, friendly, outgoing cats. Russians can be more timid - but persist, it will be worth it in the end!
post #12 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!
I have to tell you that Russian Blues can sometimes form very strong bonds with one person only. If you adopted this kitty at 18 months old it could be that she already had an owner she truly loved, and will just take time to get used to you.

They do tend to be one-person cats, so with patience and a lot of leaving her to her own devices (they do like to be left to make up their own minds...!) YOU will probably become that one person.

It's hard, but usually with kitties you have to let them do things in their own time.

Plus, you are used to having a Siamese, who are vocal, friendly, outgoing cats. Russians can be more timid - but persist, it will be worth it in the end!
She has been in foster care for the past 6 months or so.

She was found on the street after having a litter in a basement.

I've been reading to her all day. (It's been raining non stop here so I've been home most of the day) She seems to like it and actually allowed me to pet her for a minute today-Good thing she's so beautiful.
post #13 of 20
I think you have just answered your own question - this poor cat has had a rough time and has probably learned to distrust people, though not other cats. Even if she has been in a good foster home she is scared of people in general. GIve her time and I am sure she will learn that you are to be trusted.
post #14 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckatz
I think you guys are missing the point. She's fine with the other cat. It's me she's afraid of. How do I get her to bond with ME!
You're funny! That was so cute. I think this problem will resolve itself over time, but to help it along, you just have to keep speaking softly to her while you pet her and give her lots of encouragement. She'll understand that you are there to protect and take care of her in no time. Good luck. She is a beautiful kitty, by the way!
post #15 of 20
I have new skittish kitty too. The difference is that she's a 13 week old kitten. Until 2 weeks ago she was living outside with her bro in the bushes. Her bro is very outgoing, she is not. What is odd is that she gets along great with my cats. My cat Rocky loves her and gives her baths, I even found them cuddling in the bed. He likes her more than the male. She is much more afraid of people. Loud noises scare her. She doesn't mind being petted but will run when approached. If she's really nervous she will hiss. We are making progress, but it is slow. The hissing has become less frequent. She loves to play, so we have an icebreaker there. For 2 weeks they have been living in one room, with occ visits from the other cats. Next week her bro will be adopted and will try to let her explore on her own.
post #16 of 20
Please be patient if you can OP.

My Smidge had never been in a loving home before she met me at 10 months - although she is a dear sweet kitty at heart.

She is v. close to me now - although terrified of everyone else. Her first week in my home she ran behind the stove to get away from me. I had to drag both the stove and refridgerator out to get to her - oh fun! I had to go out and buy chicken wire to bend in open spaces her 5 lb v. skinny frame could get into. I was thinking "Oh no! what have a I done getting a cat?"

Everything worked out. Please give it time and allow her to make overtures outside the bathroom - since she seems to be doing ok with you in the bathroom. I had to wait a week! And it hurt my feelings! But you will make it!

Very pretty cat btw!
post #17 of 20
I agree...just be patient and let her make the moves towards you....just go about your business and speak softly to her when she is near. She will adjust when she starts seeing you as caregiver and when she sees you interact with the other cat. trust me...she is watching.
Linda
post #18 of 20
I hate to tell you this, but I had a cat who hide from me for 7 years and just only in the last 4 months, Sadie has decided to let me rub her and hold her....I will never understand why she behaves like this.

Also..I got Rosemary and she NEVER EVER lets me touch her...guess both cats had horrible experiences as kittens BEFORE I rescued them!
post #19 of 20
Failed to tell you that I have 11 indoor cats and ONLY 2 of them are not friendly towards humans.
post #20 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Libby
I hate to tell you this, but I had a cat who hide from me for 7 years and just only in the last 4 months, Sadie has decided to let me rub her and hold her....I will never understand why she behaves like this.

Also..I got Rosemary and she NEVER EVER lets me touch her...guess both cats had horrible experiences as kittens BEFORE I rescued them!
I had a cat for 15 years that wouldn't let me pick her up. I'm trying to avoid the same behavior in this cat. I was always afraid of what would happen to her in an emergency situation.

I put her in the bedroom yesterday but she kept crying to be let out so I did. I spoke to her foster mom today and she was very affectionate with her but it took a little while for her to warm up. So I guess I'm going to have to take it on her timetable.

It's just so odd that she is getting along with my resident cat so well and running for the hills when I come near her. I notice she is staring and watching alot and seems to want to come over but then she gets scared.

Like I said good thing she's so beautiful. But aren't they all!!

Thanks for all your advice I keep you updated. It will be a major celebration when she jumps in my lap for the first time
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