Any ideas on foster cat's behavior?

My foster, Sugartoes, has been with us since late May. She was in a separate room with her kittens until she was spayed. She has been out in the house with the other cats, Festus and Garfield since about mid August. After getting her freedom, she often slept in the kitten room at first, all alone.

She is getting along fine with the cats, they never hiss or spit anymore. She occasionally engages in play with them, but often stays separate from them. She used to be an in and out cat, and has never seemed to want outside, although she enjoys laying in a windowsill (don't they all!)

I just don't understand her. She is loving in a way-meaning any attention from anyone will cause her stay with you. So if you spnd a little extra time scritching her neck, for the next day or two, wherever you sit down, she will lay herself nearby-maybe 5 feet away. Then someone else pets her, and she is their shadow for a while. Definitely prefers the adults to the kids, but that might be because the kids spend so much time with the other cats.

She doesn't like sitting on laps or being held, but if you give her neck scritches, she totally loves it and starts kneading. But if you pick her up she walks away when you let her go. Then she sits or lays nearby. She will knead when being petted on your lap, so I know she enjoys it.

She has begun sleeping in my bedroom since I went on vacation in Colorado. She sleeps on the foot of the bed by day, which is close to dh at his desk, and when we get in bed she sleeps on the couch at the foot of the bed. I have never found her in bed with us.

Am I just expecting too much from this girl? Am I just too used to cats who have been beloved pets, and not used to one who is stand-offish? I mean, in her own way she is totally a love-bug. Who wouldn't love a kitty companion who is just always nearby, and happy for a little scritch now and then? But you always have to go to her, she never comes to you for scritches. She will beg for treats, and meows if she wants something. But am I missing something in understanding her? Or am I just expecting her to be someone she is not?

My previous orange boyo was just like that, you know. About the only difference is that he didn't like anyone but me, and that he would start to wait in the living room windowsill for me about ten minutes before my school bus brought me home. It's the way he was and nothing I could ever do would change him, so I just gave up and let him be who he was. And as much of a weird change that was for me from my other, more clingy and affectionate cats, I loved him all the more for it.

She is very dear to me, and such a sweet girl. If I wanted to keep her (which of course I always do with the fosters!) I wouldn't mind if she stayed just like she is! But I really do want her to find a forever home, and hopefully with more insight I can help her do that. Or maybe I just need to let her be herself, and just hope for a really great person to choose her.

She is strikingly beautiful, and a wonderful cat. But everyone wants to adopt a cuddle bug. She needs a lonely person who wants a loving companion, and who has good windowsills, and feeds lots of treats. Is that too much to ask for? LOL!

To me, she sounds like she'd be good for the kind of person who probably hasn't got a significant other, and would like some company, but is also really busy. Some sort of businessperson, maybe. That way, both pet and owner don't need to be snuggling all over each other the usual way, but are satisfied that each is loved.

You're right that this particular kind of person is hard to find, though. I wish you the best in getting her a good home. :/

She sounds pretty typical for a female, really, I'm sad to say. There are many females that prefer just to have time alone, but do enjoy the occassional attention. Many tend to be "loners". How old is she? Is she spayed?

If she's young, she might get warmer as she ages, if she's older, it might have been the reverse. Never can tell with cats...there are no real indicators what they'll be like. It's hard to say.

But, answering those coupla questions might make it easier for me to help ya.

Another quick note: it looks, from your pic, that Sugartoes might be part Egyptian Mau, which tends to be a very loving breed. (Our two are the same...part that, part tabby.)

You should research the breed online. Lots of interesting info on those guys.

Anyway, it could very well just be a phase.

That is Festus, my brown tabby girl, that is in my siggy. She is just a plain old moggy, but does have nice spots! Here is Sugartoes. She is a pretty tortie.

She has had 3 litters in 6 months, and is spayed now. I believe she is just over a year old. She looks very young, and was thin as a rail after getting spayed. But she has filled out beautifully now. She was owned by a man who took her in after she gave birth under his porch. So I think he tried to feed her, but maybe he didn't really give her much loving. She does seem to be fond of men though, she really likes to sit by my dh, and like I said, moved into our bedroom while I was out of town for a few days! LOL!

See if you can get her one of those furry mice (about 5" long) at a pet store... she may be missing her babies. Also, girl cats may tend to keep to themselves a bit (around males) because they're a bit wary, and sometimes with good reason. Don't try to force it, but do play with her pulling knotted cords and other toys.

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

That is Festus, my brown tabby girl, that is in my siggy. She is just a plain old moggy, but does have nice spots! Here is Sugartoes. She is a pretty tortie.

She has had 3 litters in 6 months, and is spayed now. I believe she is just over a year old. She looks very young, and was thin as a rail after getting spayed. But she has filled out beautifully now. She was owned by a man who took her in after she gave birth under his porch. So I think he tried to feed her, but maybe he didn't really give her much loving. She does seem to be fond of men though, she really likes to sit by my dh, and like I said, moved into our bedroom while I was out of town for a few days! LOL!

Click to expand...

Aww...she's adorable. I used to have a light-colored tortie (pastels instead of dark colors). She's was so sweet. Like others have said, maybe she misses her babies. She might just be adjusting to things.

Another thing, my tortie, Katie, wasn't much for sitting with people and cuddling, either. I could never get her to jump up and sit with me...she would always ONLY stay if she snuck into my lap when I wasn't noticing. It was funny, too, because I would suddenly realize I was petting a cat (which I've noticed I do without even thinking), where there hadn't been one five minutes before! Lol. She wasn't one to announce her presence, or require an immense amount of love, but she would sneak it in every now and then.

Maybe as she grows older, she'll get more cuddly.

I got a lovely e-mail from someone today looking for a slightly timid cat, she didn't want an overly affectionate one. Unfortunately, she only wanted one kitty and my timid boys (James and Francis) are VERY bonded.

But what I'm *trying* to say here is, there are the right owners out there. It just may take some extra searching.

Our Toby is a bit that way too. Most people think he is standoffish. He is not a "lap cat"....but he will sneak up there once in awhile if i`ve dozed off in the recliner. When he does, he just wants to nap there, but does`nt really want to be petted while he`s there....He likes to be petted when he`s in the mood...but if he`s not, he`ll sort of slink away from your touch....so when he lays and rolls on the floor for you to give him belly rubs it feels like a real privildge to be able to do so. He loves to play ball or hide and seek or peek a boo about anytime though....unless he`s napping!
Most people prefer Tedy , who is more of an easy lover....but Toby is more of a challenge!

Linda

Thanks, I'll keep the faith that her perfect owner is out there somewhere! She is a real sweetie, so hopefully it will happen for her soon!