Please HELP!... Might have to give away cat soon :-(

I agree with a previous thread - that my cat has mental problems!
Kharma is 2 and we also have her daughter Sutra who is 1. Now Kharma hasnt always been the happiest of cats (prob because of teasing by my brother in law when she was little) but now she has just lost the plot. Sutra has recently had kittens and Kharma (EDIT: language removed) She can't be in the same room as Sutra -ever, she is growling almost constantly, she hisses and spits at everyone; me, my husband, Sutra, the kittens. We try and pat her and she will enjoy it for a few seconds then go to bite us and freak out. She wakes up in the morning, eats and then runs outside as soon as we open the door and stays away all day and then when she comes in at night, she will eat (not when Sutra eats cos she cant stand to be near her) and then jump on top of the kitchen cupboards and stay there for the rest of the evening - growling down on anything that moves. She is totally jealous of any attention we give Sutra and my husband is starting to really get annoyed with her - and says she might have to go away. We have tried everything! Giving them seperate attention times and spaces; Kharma's time when im on the computer chair and she sleeps in our bedroom, and then Sutra's time in the lounge room. We have tried being gentle and tried the spray bottle (i have now read that this prob isnt a good idea). And she is also losing heaps of fur every day - it flies off when we pat her.

Sorry its a long post - but i dont know what to do?!!!!

It's sounds to me that this may be more than just a behavior issue. Kharma needs to see the Vet immediately for a thorough physical exam!

For me you've basically said part of the problem which is " She is totally jealous of any attention we give Sutra ".

I know with Rosie i had to make sure i gave her my full attenion still when i got Sophie because i could see her looking at Sophie with daggers at times, but bearing in mind this was when Sophie just came into our home so she wasn't used to her.

It takes a lot of patience, but it's something that i wouldn't give up on

Just to warn you, nobody really wants a hissing growling cat that was teased as a baby. I would suggest you give her until the kittens are adopted out. And please be sure to spay or neuter any cats that aren't spayed or neutered.

Believe me - I don't want to give her away, she is my first cat and I love her dearly. I will prob take her to the vet as I want her to get better - it's just driving my hubby crazy - making things pretty stressful around the house cos I'm looking after 5 wk old kittens at the same time!@!

Now this is JUST a thought, but maybe its b/c mommy and baby are still together? I know its not like that will all cats, but 10 years or so ago when I was pretty young me and my parents adopted a stray kitten in our neighborhood. We didn't get her spayed soon enough, so she had one litter of 3 kittens. We gave one away to a friend and kept 2. So we had all three for several years, and Meeko (the mom) was much more ornery than before the kittens. After some years, one of the kittens Gizmo dissappeared. We think someone picked her up from our yard, but anyways we still had the one other baby, and Meeko. A few years later the other baby cat got some kind of disease, and died very quickly. Meeko seemed to grieve for a few days, crying and so forth, but then went back to being an EXTREMELY loving cat like she was before ever having kittens. As I said, I know it wouldn't be this way with all cats, but its just an idea!

Well she started getting grumpier when she realised that Sutra was staying unlike her other kittens that went away.We had big issues with who slept on the bed or in the bedroom. I just wonder if maybe she would have a better life if she was on her own and not part of a 2 cat household?

Did she start getting grumpy only when Sutra was there, or not until Sutra had her kittens? If it was after the new kittens, maybe it will get better once they are at their new homes. If it was before the new kittens, I think it could definately be that Sutra is still there, like you said, when the rest of her babies were gone. I would get her checked out by the vet first to make sure there is nothing else wrong. Also, maybe the vet could give you some advice on how to help them get along. I've heard of something called Feliway on here thats supposed to help calm them down, but before joining this site I'd never heard of it, so can't give you a personal review! Good Luck.

She was grumpy before the new kittens and now she is even grumpier.
Thanks!

Have you taken her to the vet to rule out any health problems? The way she's acting, accompanied with the fact that she's losing fur, is a pretty big indicator that something's going on with her physically.

I hope she's ok...

I too would get her to a vet for a full check-up before you consider any other options.

In the evolutionary scheme of things, a momcat's job is to produce as many viable offspring as possible. To that end, she will risk life and limb to mother her kittens with unswerving commitment -- until they're able to survive on their own. At that point, her instinct tells her it's time to free herself from that responsibility and... well... start dating again.

So a momcat will, at some point, become fed up with her own kittens, not because she's a bad mother, but because her reproductive instincts tell her the little ones should be out on their own by now. For Kharma, it's even worse -- not only is her daughter still living at home, but her GRANDKIDS are underfoot, too! :-)

As someone else suggested, it's possible that everything will change once the kittens are adopted out. Kharma will surely be relieved, and maybe she will cease to resent Sutra's presence as well.

But I think -- assuming your vet finds Kharma is in normal health, and all her hairloss is due only to stress -- I think the true solution is to have both Kharma and Sutra spayed. This will free them from the hormonal rollercoaster and all the hostilities that often accompany it.

And finally... have you considered letting them be strictly indoor kitties? I really think indoor cats develop a much closer relationship with their families and gradually leave behind a lot of the fight-or-flight feelings that they need out in the world. Kharma might be a happier kitty that way.

Good luck!

I think that in this case the best solution is to take Kharma and Sutra to the vet, have them both thoroughly looked over and have EVERYONE (kittens included) spayed. That will remove behaviors fueled by reproduction.

I was going to ask if Kharma was spayed. I had a cat act a lot like this, and it turned out that she had terrible ovarian cysts ALL OVER her insides. Once she was spayed she turned into a different cat.

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

I think that in this case the best solution is to take Kharma and Sutra to the vet, have them both thoroughly looked over and have EVERYONE (kittens included) spayed.

Click to expand...

This is a great idea.

Originally Posted by kluchetta

I was going to ask if Kharma was spayed. I had a cat act a lot like this, and it turned out that she had terrible ovarian cysts ALL OVER her insides. Once she was spayed she turned into a different cat.

Click to expand...

I agree that something physically must be wrong. Cats (and dogs) instinctively hide any illnesses, because in the wild, predators will target them for any weaknesses. If you read in the "Crossing the Bridge" forum you will find out that far too often, by the time a cat expresses obvious signs of pain or discomfort, it is too late for medical intervention. I hope that costof vet exam don't cause to much strain on the family budget. I know that you care very much for your first cat & prayers for the best outcome for her.

Well Kharma is already spayed (was after 1st litter) and Sutra is booked in for a couple of days time. we have been keeping them totally seperate from each other lately and Kharma has stopped losing fur and has calmed down a bit. I have also contacted an holistic vet about getting some calming drops for her! I agree that when the kitties go (2 more wks) things will be better - thanks guys!

Let us know what the vet has to say when you find anything out. (I know when i`m sick or hurting ...I feel grumpy too!)
Linda

I would also pick up some feliway and give that a try too.