Ever had one of those really profound moments...

... where you suddenly get hit by a random thought particle and you realise just how small and insignificant your life is in the big picture of the world and the universe and stuff? (The answer really IS 42) I think i just had one of those. I was just washing dishes and pondering about last night. I'd spent the day alone (job hunting, still) and I'd spent 2 hours cooking a traditional English beef stew with dumplings, puff pastry and all the veg that goes with it, for the Danish side of the family. After which I spent the next 3 hours not being spoken to (the Danish washes straight over my head still) - if I was spoken to, it was to ask if there was any more of something - and babysitting the two kids. I went to bed and Rune then spent until 2am playing poker online. And today I got to clear up all the dishes from yesterday and do more laundry.

What has all of this got to do with the universe you ask? I guess I don't know, but I was feeling seriously put out. I'm nobody special. I don't work, I'm no longer a mum - technically speaking, of course - I'm not a wife or a fiance..... and I guess I was wondering what on earth my purpose in life is. I don't have "direction" - and yet I can sit here and offer advice to others who ask for it, regardless of the mess my own is in. Why is that? And why is it we can sit here and feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, when we know full well that there are people out there who really do have nothing? I have a roof over my head, there is food on the table and I'm loved. Why is that simple thing never good enough? I suppose the more we have, the more we want.

So anyway, back to the universe thing. I find it funny to sit here, and muse and complain about the little things in life.... then to sit and think about the world in the bigger picture.... and then imagine, we are just one little speck of dust in this ever expanding void of nothing much else....

Why is it that the whole universe ultimately finishes up being a personal universe wrapped up in self? Just a thought... if it made sense.

Woah, a little to thought provoking for me at the moment!

I thoroughly enjoyed readin it though! Just to add that you are very special to us all!

I'll get back on this one when I'm a little more with it!

I know it's just gone noon here but thats stumped me Emma?!

Thats a conversation after the pub closes and you put the world to right!

Ok ok ok.... so it didn't make much sense and yes perhaps it does sound like it's an "after-pub" conversation...... but it's just gone 1pm here. I hate it when washing dishes makes me think.

Tell Rune you want a dishwasher!

In lamens terms are you feeling in a rut?!

I also sometimes stop in my tracks and think how one week is much the same as the last, and what is the meaning of it all. Our 2 children have grown to be responsible and happy adults, so that is one achievment, I suppose. And our new role as Grandparents next March will give us another focus. But every day live still slips us by without mch difference.

Then the other day I watched a programme on one of the Discovery chanels, about parallel universes, and it was so hard to get my head around, ,it's going to keep my brain busy for a little while till I decide I can't cope with it, and move back to "what is the meaning of life".

Maybe you need something else to do your head in, and push this to the back of your mind for a bit too. Just for a rest

Dunno... I think so. I mean I've got no direction, I've got no work to keep me occupied other than the cleaning my dearest darling leaves all over the place.... I do feel pretty empty.

Thats what you need Emma, a job so you can still have a little independance and to stop you both getting into a rut.

My mum always said you never get to know a person until you live with them, and i for one know that she was right.

Can you not get a little part time job? or help in a charity shop or volunteer in an animal rescue centre? You'd have the chance to mix with other folk and get out and about, giving you something to chat about at home. Charity shops must be full of anecdotes. Well someone must buy those hideous '70's curtains they have on display in most of them. And the dingy kitchen stuff. They must be interesting folk