need some advice.....

Yes it's job related yet again, sorry but I need some help.
Here's the senario:
I asked for the 31 of Dec and 1 of Jan off to celebrate my birthday. I asked for thesedays off 3 months ago and were oked by the manager. Now the problem:
she currently got back together with her kids father and found out that his birthday is Jan 1st( you'd think she'd know this since she was with him for years a long time ago but anyway back to they story ) so now she wants to take Jan 1st off even though we have made plans to be out of town then, and she wants me to come in and close, so she can have the day off. She told me she would give me the 31st off but I already told her that I'd work my birthday if there were any problems with it and just take that night off because Brad was working on that DAY also, and then take the whole day off on the 1st of Jan.
SO we got into a huge arguement with her saying that since we are no longer under Nellis(our former company) that things changed and since Mike ( one of our crew chiefs) quit that someone needed to work. Now she's saying that "technically the management staff needs to be on call on all holidays" even though she is taking Halloween off to take her kids trick or treating and also is taking X-mas eve off and making me work both (x-mas eve open to close like I do every year so that I CAN have the 31-1 off even though I'm not going to get it) becuase she " has to go to church " on x-mas.
Now tell me, is this fair in any way?
Brad is PI**ED! We've had these plans for months and now might not get to do them because she is selfish?
Tell me, what would you do in this situation? Brad says to just not show up. It'd be my first no call no show, but I've already said I'm not coming in during our fight and she told me that it'd be a no call no show and grounds for termination. I read the new handbook and "effectively July 1 2005 All employees have to have three writeups prior to being terminated". I have none this would be my first and only one.
Noone else has gotten one that has been a no call no show or that has been late for that matter. and she has been late numerous times and has edited her time to cover it up.
So I ask once again, what are your thoughts??? and what would you do in my situation?

Does she OWN the business you work for? If not, she's GOT to have someone that SHE answers to. I'd contact her superior and explain the situation. When I was in managment, I NEVER had employees work 2 major holidays in a row and when I owned my own business, I always gave them off their birthday off WITH pay. I don't think your request is unreasonable at all!

No, she doesn't own the business, but the man who bought the business says that she is in charge of everything at shop level. I really don't want to involve him if I don't have to. But I'm at wits end. I don't mind working the holidays if I can get the two times a year I ask for off. which are the weekend after Brads birthday(which she also ok'ed and now wants to go to Memphis on that date, and is mad that she cant' because I won't back down and let her) and the 31 of Dec and the 1 of Jan. Otherwise I dont' care what Holidays I work. I have no kids so It doesn't bother me to work everyone, like I said as long as I get those two times off, But unfortunately it doesn't look good for me right now, what should I do??? I'm so angry I just want quit but I can't. I need the money right now and I can't find another job(not for lack to trying mind you)

I'd give her a letter then and explain that you feel you are not being unfair or unjust in your expectation of having Dec 31-Jan1 off as previously agreed to and approved by her. Also remind her that there are only 2 times a year that are critically important to you to have time off and that if that is asking too much, you may need to find a new employer that offers more flexibility.

I would HOPE that she would realize that not too many employees are going to be as cooperative as you are with working holidays all the time!

What kind of work do you do?

I am the asst manager of Long John Silvers. I've been there for 15 years.
The trouble is, she knows that is can and will work anything, just to get those times off. I think I've asked for a total of maybe (with these days included) 6 days off this year. these four, one doctors appt, and I'm sure I've had another but I'm not sure for what. My things usually are after a certain time, like for example, I can work until 4 or 5 then my things start so it's not like I need the whole day off, just the nighttime. or I'll try and schedule my appts on my days off so I'm not comflicting with anything or anyone elses time off. I think I'm the most easy going person in the world.
she is not. She is selffish and petty. I mean comeon, she called me onetime because I'd asked for a day off to go to Brads familys for dinner well I didn't know it was mothers day and well she got all upitty and told me what a horrible person I was taking that day off and how she would work it and HUNG up on me!
I was so mad that I called her back and told her that once again to make her happy and to shut her up, I'd work it and ruin my plans and hug up on her. Well did I get a thank you? Heck no! I got to work and nothing more. While Brad got to go and explain to his mom why I wasn't coming over. I hate my job and I hate her so much I want to cry everytime I think about going to work. I leave at 5 mintues before I have to be there when before I used to go in at LEAST 15-20 minutes before I had to be there.

I would take the day off anyways and start looking for another job - That womans a b**ch and needs to be reprimanded - You cannot do that to employees!!!!

I think she is being selfish.

She should have to choose to work either Xmas eve or New Year - NOT BOTH.

When she originally agreeed to allow you those days off, did you get it in writing?

They really don't deserve your loyalty! If I were you, I'd get out and pound the pavement and put my application in at every place I'm qualified for. I know that's easy for me to say because maybe you live in a samll community without a lot of employment opportunities or maybe the unemployment rate is high where you live but there has got to be SOMEONE out there who would want your experience and appreciate your long term committments. I used to manage Country Kitchen Restaurants and when I saw apps. with that long of a history in a food service industry, I jumped all over those candidates! GL!!! You deserve a better work environment! Oh, and if you do find something, try to coordinate it so that you can start Jan. 2 or 3 and then give you current manager notice on Dec. 15. that you'll be DONE on Dec. 23!

This manager sounds immature, and doesn't keep her word? Oh..outta there as fast as you can.

Life is too short, you have a lot to give...give it elsewhere where it will be appreciated.

i would have quitted a long time ago.

I agree with the others. Did you get your request in writing for those days? I think even if you didn't she is pretty bold to want those days off when SHE KNOWS you have plans. I'm sorry but I think you should go ahead with those days off. She wants to take advantage of you. You have been there a long time and the person who owns the franchise should recognize that fact. Many businesses should be happy to have a long time employee of you. When I was in the corporate world there were also a couple days every year that were really important for me and I worked hard to get those days off. So stick firmly to your plans. Good luck.

I think you have a right to be mad. If she told you that you could have those days off then she should honour her word. That isn't right for her to go back on it like that.

It sounds like so far her fits and abuse have worked to her advantage. I would write it all up in a letter, including her falsifying her hours, and forward it to the owner. Let him know that as planned and approved, you will be taking the 31 and 1 off. Let him know how many holidays you worked this year. Offer to take over her job if he fires her!

Offering to take her job might be over the top, but a general reference about your management skills would not be out of order. He is in business to make money, and you could do a better job than her. Start working on getting her job.

There are two options I see. Find another job or you have to escalate the issue to her boss. Beckiboo's idea of the letter seems good. Write it in a way that just states the facts and shows your willingness to work out a compromise.

Your supervisor has shown that she is not willing to reasonably negotiate the matter and not showing up will only hurt you. Good luck.

I agree with everyone else: Dont back down. You have 15 years of experience, she wouldnt DARE terminate you for 2 days that SHE wants off. And if she does, I have three words for you: Wrongful Dismissal Lawsuit. Mention that her threatening to fire you over this is harassment, and ABSOLUTELY mention this dispute to the owner. As a business owner who is not interested in supporting the types of conflicts that can lead to almost air tight lawsuits, he will not be unreasonable. Do not be afraid, that is only letting her/them walk all over you. 15 years experience as an assistant manager is WAY more than enough for you to find a better paying higher up managerial job. If you can not make yourself stand up for this issue with the owner, and your manager is really making this too difficult on you, you need to find a different and better job. These people dont seem worth your stress and upset, and your skills and experience WILL be appreciated any number of elsewheres.

Whatever you do, put it all, what you originally agreed, in writing, and send it to her, keeping a dated copy. Then she can't get you for not showing up.

id look round for anther job,and have great pleasure in telling her to shove the job where the sun dont shine ok thats just me,i dont agree with having some one lording it over me.theres respect for one,u give a person respect u get it back in return.
good luck.

She's already approved your request. Period. Assuming you have proof of that, there's not a thing she can do about it. It is NOT a no-call, no-show.

unforutnately it's her word against mine. I never even thought to get it in writing since I've never had this problem before. So since the job market is so scarce, do I risk my job or not? The mor I hear the more she's telling everyone about it and it's REALLY making me mad. But the sad thing is, she acts like my best friend when there's noone around to gossip with, even though I hardly talk to her unless it's got to do with work. To me, she's the poop scraped off the sides of lifes litter box, and I want nothing to do with her outside of work related issues.