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Torn...need advice

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
My friend is getting married in November and moving to Pittsburgh (we are in arkansas), her bachelorette party is this Saturday. I was planning on attending but i found out that we are meeting at a girls house to do the gift thing and eat but the main event is to go out to bars/clubs. That doesnt sound appealing to me at all. I definatly dont want to go out b/c its just too much drama and i dont care to celebrate that way. I feel real bad b/c i dont want to go and i dont want to tell her that b/c it WILL hurt her feelings. I'm thinking about saying that i woke up sick saturday just to get out of it but i really dont want to regret my decision. If i just go to the girls house i'll catch all kinds of crap about not going out and will prolly feel pressured into going. I am just torn about what to do....i know that i dont want to go out to bars/clubs but i dont want to hurt her feelings being that shes moving in November.....
post #2 of 15
I would feel the same as you. My choice would be to go to the beginning part and excuse yourself for the rest of it. If they try to pressure, just tell them you aren't up to it.

It takes getting used to with the avoiding the peer pressure thing - but it is really worth it in the long run. At least for me it was - after I did that for the first few times - I felt truly proud of myself for standing up for myself!
post #3 of 15
I agree with Talon. I'm just like you. My friends who are into bars and clubs know that I'm not into them either, they're disappointed when I don't join, but they also know it's me.
post #4 of 15
i agree....chill with them at the house, but split when they go out
post #5 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebula11
i agree....chill with them at the house, but split when they go out
Agreed. Tell them you have some sort of family or work commitment early in the AM the next day so you have to go to bed early.
post #6 of 15
I don't care for the bar scene any more either, but if my friend was moving away, I might have to suck it up and make the party about her. I would be afraid that I would regret not spending the last little bit of time with my friend. The night before I left Jacksonville for Kansas City a few years ago, my dart team took me out for the evening. I thought I would have rather had a root canal, but it turned out ot be one of the most fun evenings I ever had.
Just my .
Whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful time.
post #7 of 15
Honey if you don't want to go out with them but you're afraid they'll give you a hard time, tell them you have your period and that you're just not in the "bar" mood. they'll understand, trust me, I would.
post #8 of 15
Since it's a good friend and it's only for 1 night, I'd just suck it up and go and pretend I'm enjoying myself. It would probably mean the world to your friend to have you there and maybe you could even be the designated driver for the evening so the ones who are going to get obliterated aren't risking anyone's lives by getting behind the wheel. OR, just go along but drive separately so you can leave early and aren't stuck with a bunch of squirrelly drunk women until the bars close!
post #9 of 15
I like these suggestions. The second option would be to run off home early with the male strip-o-gram. No, all joking aside, I'd just chill with them at the house, and be honest with your friend that you really don't feel up to it. If she really is a good friend she'll understand and she'll be glad that you made the effort to come and see her anyway, regardless of whether or not you're with her in a bar afterwards. Sure it's her bachelorette party, but I think she'd appreciate the honesty rather than having someone pretending to enjoy themselves. She'd rather have someone who is genuinely having fun - who knows, maybe just the two of you can arrange something special just for you, without the pubs and clubs. Try suggesting that too...
post #10 of 15
This may sound a bit harsh (so please excuse me in advance), but is this a very, very good friend of yours? If so, remember this: her wedding and the events leading up to it are about her (and him of course).

If she wants to go to a bar for her bachelorette party, humor her and go. It'll mean the world to her. It's just one night.
post #11 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
This may sound a bit harsh (so please excuse me in advance), but is this a very, very good friend of yours? If so, remember this: her wedding and the events leadingup to it are about her (and him of course).

If she wants to go to a bar for her bachelorette party, humor her and go. It'll mean the world to her. It's just one night.
I agree. Unless you have religious reasons or are allergic to bars, I would go just one night. Is it the bar aspect or the drinking aspect? It might actually be more fun than you think. I mean, it would be the same as being at the house except you don't have to make your own drinks! If you mean they're going to hop around, then you could excuse yourself after the second one because if she knows you, she'll know that was a huge effort on your part.
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the advice....i do appreicate all your input
post #13 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
This may sound a bit harsh (so please excuse me in advance), but is this a very, very good friend of yours? If so, remember this: her wedding and the events leading up to it are about her (and him of course).

If she wants to go to a bar for her bachelorette party, humor her and go. It'll mean the world to her. It's just one night.

I dont know you but, it sounds like something you CAN do for your close friend for ONE night!!
She will be moving soon, you need to take advantage of the time you have.
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
I am going
post #15 of 15
I think youve made the right decision...people watching people in bars can be quite entertaining dont forget!
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