Originally Posted by Purr
Understand how insignificant other people's opinions are. All that matters are your friends and family--the people that know and love you. What's the worst thing that can happen if you say something and make a fool of yourself? What's the worst thing that can happen if someone does actually think: "wow, her hair is a mess?" It's not as bad as you may think.
Loved the message by Purr!!! I would also like to add to this that when it comes down to it, your own opinion of yourself must matter most of all!
I always thought my "future husband" would help me build my self-esteem, by telling me I was beautiful and making me feel special, etc., but until I met my actual husband, I never knew that my confidence had to come from within, 100% from me. Of course, he does make me feel beautiful and loved, etc., but I have gained so much self-esteem and confidence (and I do think they go hand-in-hand) from realizing that my opinions about myself are what truly matters. In the beginning, I always used to ask my husband what hairstyle he wanted me to have and what he would like to see me wear, and he would never play along. He was bluntly honest and told me that if I was happy with myself, then he would be happy, too, but until I was happy with myself, nothing he said or did would be able to help me have the self-confidence I needed. It took me a while to "get" that, but once I did, it was very freeing.
I agree with the other posts, too. Take time for yourself and figure out what you enjoy doing. Take up some hobbies you've forgotten about, or learn something you've always wanted to learn. It IS about you, because you make your own happiness. A spouse, friends, your family, can love you and make you feel blessed, thankful, comforted, etc., but confidence is about knowing that YOU count, no matter what ANYONE thinks! (And not in a callous way, of course - it is about balancing concern for others with respecting yourself as well.)
PS- Some examples of things I recently did, just for me! - got my navel pierced, learned how to knit, took a hip-hop class! My husband thought it was silly to take a class to learn hip-hop, but I've learned to laugh it off and tell him to shut up!! We actually have a much healthier relationship now that I've learned to let things roll off my back, and now NOTHING he says bothers me (and he knows how to get my goat if he wants to, too!).... Just gotta remember to have fun every now and then... You build your inner confidence because you just stop listening to the world and do what makes you happy!....