female hissing at male

Hi,
I already have a female cat, Shasha and just got a male cat, Kirby. Kirby wants to get close to Shasha but Shasha keeps on hissing at him and even gave him the paw Is this normal? How long does it take for her to get use to him?

Nita

Cats can take up to MONTHS to get used to each other. There have even been cases where they never get along. If it doesnt stop in a few days, I would start by seperating them and letting them gradually get used to each other. Let them sniff under the door and such. It can help with the introductions.

I went through this too...
My female siamese did the same to her twin brother when he returned from the vet from being neutered at 6 months. He would lay next to her and follow her around and she would just attack him, hiss, and stalk him to no end. The poor boy could not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom without her bothering him. And this happened to two animals that were inseperable since birth.
I eventually seperated them placing her in the restroom -and basicly reintroduced them with minimal contact at first, letting Bella sniff Max under the door and introducing his smell to her by petting him with a sock on my hand to get his scent on it and using the same sock with Bella. She would still growl and attack him from under the door but within 1 week they were back to normal sleeping together and playing as usual.
This can be a very stressful time but they will eventually work it out. It was at this time that I realized Bella was the dominant feline.
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Monica

Thanks Sandie. Poor Kirby, he really wants to get close to Shasha. He comes and sit close to her all the time. And Shasha just keeps on hissing. And he'll move back. The poor boy.

and am still - I got Jinx in January and they he is just coming downstairs from his room! He still hisses sometimes and is a SCARDEY CAT! It takes a loooonnng time and a TON OF PATIENCE..... believe me - usually it's easier for females and males to hook up - I have 2 males.... just be patient and don't force it. They will get along eventually!

Apparently, this problem is not limited to cat on cat problems. We just got a small bundle of energy in the form of Kashi, a Westie (aka West Highland White Terrier). Kashi is a male puppy who's all of 11 weeks old. My female feline named Dani, has rebuffed most of Kashi's attempts to befriend her with hissing and quick paw flicks. Though, when she feels like it, the two of them take turns chasing each other through the house. Sometimes, they just get nose-to-nose about a foot apart and simply stare each other down. Now the puppy is starting to emulate Dani's swiping movement but with a 2" paw, it's just too funny.

Yeah tell me about it...sometimes Kirby would come sit close to Shasha and strecth his paws out as close as possible to her and they'd stare at each other, and then when he gets up to come closer or starts to sniff her she would start hissing and give him the paw. And he'd move back and start all over again. It's so cute and funny.

Going along with Sandie's idea of limited contact, sometimes any barrier between cats is enough to make them more comfortable. When I took my cat over to a friend's to see if her cat and my cat (both neutered males) would get along, the cats put barriers between themselves (a chair, the door of a pet carrier). My cat seemed less interested in playing but my friend's cat (who I think is a bit younger) was very interested. When the cats were on opposite sides of a barrier, the younger cat would reach out to touch the older cat, and the older cat would play as well. When they were out in the open, the older cat would hiss, and the younger cat would swat.
Perhaps you could place a baby gate or some other barrier between the cats so that they could still see each other and determine if that helps them to be more relaxed around each other.
Also, when I lived in a more rural area ages ago, I had a spayed indoor/outdoor cat (she was left behind by the previous home owners because they said she was too wild to catch). The previous owners, who apparently didn't fix any of their cats, asked about a year later if I'd take my cat's nephew - a kitten at the time. The female cat would hiss and swat at him. He was fixed not long after I got him. He grew to be bigger than his aunt and then he bullied her. Eventually, they learned to tolerate each other. They would go off into the woods together and often return with some sort of prey (I used to call them Killer Kitties).
So, give your cats some time. Hopefully they'll start to get along better.
Vikki

baby gates and it worked great! Jake had all of downstairs and Jinxy had all of upstairs - I know you may not be able to do it, but if your new kidden is in a room, just get a couple or three gates and put them up the door - that way no one can jump in/out, yet they can see each other and at least touch their noses - believe me - it works way better than a closed door - let's them get to know each other without the fear of getting their butt kicked@!!!!! GOOD LUCK and don't worry your head off like I did....