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I'm boring but Tazz? Well!

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
You'll have to see for yourself. I posted SOME of his pics in the pic forum.As for me, there's not a lot to say except that I have a rather different sense of humor and that life seems to put me in some strange places at the right time.(Or wrong time depending on your viewpoint) To give you an idea of my sense of humor try this on for size:
Hello All,
Though this post may not be directly to the point of this forum, if it
brings a smile to your face then it has accomplished its goal. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you! The following is a TRUE story, which happened to me.
It all started two weeks ago on one of those hot western days, the mercury
hovering just at the 103-degree mark. I was sitting at my computer with an
Ice tea in one hand and a 2-button mouse in the other. As I surfed from
site to site looking for pictures or ANYTHING cool, I noticed a small
creature creeping across my screen. I sat staring while this small
insignificant red ant trotted across the face of my monitor, zig zagging
back and forth like a ship in troubled waters. Little did I know then that
he was just the first scout of a full on invasions with ME, as the enemy in
some sort of twisted insect war!

I quickly extinguished the life of the little creature who dares to beckon
me from my surfing! The nerve of this invader to leave all those foot
prints across my screen! I returned to my search for anything cool on the
internet that would take my mind off the searing heat of the midday sun. As
I browsed through pictures of snow-covered hills in Alaska, I found myself
strangely uneasy, was this result of some sort of unconscious feeling
of guilt from having squashed that small intruder? I was soon to find
the reason for my uneasiness and the HORROR of what was happening.

I had finished my glass of tea and decided that a refill was in order. As I
rose from my chair, I was a gassed to see my feet covered in red ants!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...........I shouted! WHAT THE H*** IS THIS? Had I inadvertently started this by killing their comrade in arms? I quickly ran to the safety of the bathroom floor, the carpet in my room ALIVE with THOUSANDS of red commie invaders attacking everything in sight! This was NOT acceptable! They had pushed this Italians buttons TOO far on this HOT summer day!

This is war (I concluded) and things were about to get bloody!

I washed my feet off in the shower, the thousands of red invaders flowing
down the drain to their extinction, their screams of agony as the soap
in-cased them in bubbles. As I dried my feet, I knew what I had to do;
only one weapon in my arsenal would combat this invasion. I quickly dashed
from room to room gathering my weapons of war, an extension cord in this
had a crevice cleaner in the other! I stood in the bathroom assembling my
AWESOME weapon of red ant anti-terrorism the time had come.

"EUREKA!â€(Tm)(Also, name of weapon) I shout as my weapon of modern
technology sprang too life with the flip of the switch, it's bristles
rotating at an amazing 10,000 rpm, it's light blinding the eyes of those
red commie ******* ants. As it passed atop the enemy decapitating thousands in a single pass, I felt vindicated in some small way for this intrusion into my life, I had faced the enemy head on and WON!( Or so I thought)

Later that evening as the sun set and a cool breeze flowed through my open window, I couldn't help but wonder why and where all those tiny creatures from hell had come from, surely it couldn't be this easy to win a battle against them?! "Ah well" I said to myself as I shut off the TV and closed
my eyes for what I hoped would be a night of restful sleep.
HOLY CRAP!...AAAAAAAAAA........S***!........This IS NOT COOL!........THE GENEVA CONVENTION STRICTLY PROHIBITS NIGHT ATTACKS! I screamed as I rose from my bed covered in CRAWLING, BITING, RED ANTS! They had declared TOTALITY on their existence; the morning would end this madness finally!

The next morning I found where they had entered my room from, a crack along the window frame where the old chalking had pulled away. I quickly mixed up a toxic brew of nerve poison and spayed the area surrounding the crack. As I watched, THOUSANDS of the red invaders emerged from the wall jumping to their deaths, their tiny voices screaming "TORA TORA TORA" as they spattered on the hard cement below. The war was OVER...Finally!
They had made a fatal decision to break the rules of fair play and LOST!

It has been two weeks, all has been quiet and life is good! (Until last
night)<Jaws Music>

I awoke last night to the MOTHER of all invasions, the attack of the "NINJA
SPIDERS"! I awoke to find my room covered from ceiling to carpet in fine
threads of silk, spun by the tiny NINJA SPIDERS as they descended upon me
from every corner of my ceiling. It was as if I was starring in WWII movie
(The guns of Navarone perhaps) where the troops were scaling down the
cliffs with long ropes. I have only just begun to fight this battle; I
do not know what the outcome will be HOWEVER, I have discovered one important key piece of information; reciprocating fans do an excellent job
of slicing and dicing the enemy.

Stay Tuned Folks!

Now you know who I am, can you HANDLE the TRUTH!
post #2 of 6
I can't wait to hear what come next!!!!! welcome
post #3 of 6
Hi and welcome to TCS!!!!!!!!

See you on the forums !!!
post #4 of 6
Great story!!! Welcome to TCS!!!
post #5 of 6
Poor ants and spiders!
post #6 of 6
welcome to TCS!
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