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Judge says jail no solution for wife bashers

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I didn't like reading this in the local newspaper this morning. This is a kick in the face for women who have suffered abuse from their partners - Amy, I read this and thought of you. It just makes me mad!

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3440638a10,00.html
post #2 of 16
::censor::censor::censor:: I can't believe that! It makes me so angry, I feel like I can't even express myself properly
post #3 of 16
This decision was reached in a "'Western' industrialized country". What message does it send to oppressed women in developing countries? "Grin and bear it?"
post #4 of 16
No actually what the judge says is that Jail is not ALWAYS the solution rather than Jail is no solution.

I use to believe that a strict zero-tolerance policy was the way to go. I had experience many instance where such policy is actually detrimental (more on that later). But what made me change my mind was after talking the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women. Now before I proceed I think it is important that I qualify what I just said. She did NOT state that she is against zero-tolerance but rather she merely provided information to show that such policy is not free from problems. She was just examining the various solutions critically. And in case it is unclear, she is very much against violence against women.

1) Boomerang Effect
A zero tolerance policy would result in jail time thus punishing the person who batters. But the punishment could spillover especially if such person is needed to support the family monetarily. Therefore by sending the person to jail such person would lose income during the time he was in jail or may even lose the job. If the person who is battered requires monetary support or in a worse case scenario, there is a child involved and that the person who is battered may require money for the child, then sending the person to jail may boomerang and hurt the person it was meant to protect.

2) Marginalisation
Another problem with a zero-tolerance policy is the real possibility of further marginalising the person who was battered. The person who was battered obviously wants it to stop but what if the person does NOT want the other party to go to jail because of reasons as stated above. The zero tolerance policy may prevent the person who is battered from seeking help such counselling or even talking to friends for the fear that a police report may be made. Thereby resulting in the person trying to resolve this situation without any support both officially (counselling) or emotionally (friends), which may leave the person in a greater state of depression or hopelessness.

3) Criticism: Treat it like any other Criminal Battering
There is one particular criticism of the above approach on the grounds that the law should treat such attacks no different from that of someone being attacked in the street by a stranger. There is a difference because of the added layer of complexity involved when the party involved is their partner. If such concerns are not address then problems may arise.

4) To Stay or to Leave
A zero-tolerance policy is very effective if the person who is battered wants to leave but if the person wants to carry on with the relationship for whatever reason then, problems such as the above start to arise.

5) Conflicting Problems
This is a complex issue and it is quite easy to also make an argument in support of a zero tolerance which to a certain extent counters the above situation but that too is not without its problems. A hybrid solution with a general zero-tolerance policy coupled with exceptions to take into account the above concerns may be preferable.

Conclusion
In any event, whatever position you do intend to take, the key is to understand the whole situation the pros and the cons AND from there to adopt a solution that WORKS rather than a solution that sounds really good to the media and voters.
post #5 of 16
AHHHH! I cannot get the bleepin' page to open up! I'll have to try it again from home and post then.

I will say re: Bump's post....I agree with your first statement, that jailing batterers can have a negative affect on the abuse survivor in terms of financial support. However, I will say that they are better off SAFE and ALIVE than getting a monthly check from their abuser, as if they have to remain dependent on them. That's what advocates and social services are for.
post #6 of 16
Yeah, right. Let the violent offenders walk the street, but make sure those pot smokers are locked up!
post #7 of 16
The judge says that some abusers should be let off some should be let off without conviction???? ::censor::censor::censor:: Hasn't he heard of a little world called ACCOUNTABILITY?!?!?!

What this judge fails to recognize is that domestic violence is a PATTERN of behaviors. Just because an offender has no prior convictions and is "at the lower end of the scale" does not mean he will not do it again AND evolve to become MORE violent.

"He pointed out that women chose to stay with their partners in 80 per cent of domestic violence cases." Don't even get me STARTED on what is wrong with that statement. Most women do not CHOOSE to stay with their batterers the way we choose what to wear to work in the morning. They stay with their batterers because they are afraid to leave, do not know what their resources are, believe divorce is a sin, etc.

This is a sad, sad day for battered women in NZ and all over the world .
post #8 of 16
I think another reason battered women "choose" to stay in the relationship is that the batterer threatens them with harsher beatings or death if they try to leave.

In all cases, the womens' self esteem has been worn away and they are afraid they can't make their way alone, especially if they have children. BUT, they experience fear either way: 1) In the relationship they are in constant fear of being beaten and abused 2) If they leave they are afraid of poverty and the batterer coming after them.

Not convicting the batterers will not solve the problem of fear. They need to be thrown in jail because their victims will be much better off in the long run.
post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 
Amy - it truly is a sad day for battered women in NZ - NZ does have a rather high rate of domestic violence. I feel so sick reading this article and I keep reading it to try and absorb what he says. A NZ sportsperson actually gets off without conviction for battering his pregnant wife. God help me if I ever see him. I don't care if he pleaded guilty but getting off without this conviction. It makes me so sick! May karma come and bite this guy on the arse!
post #10 of 16
it is horrible how it can be that way in a Western Country, Australia's domestic violence is pretty high too but as usual, no-one says anything.

iv'e had friends who were beat up by their husbands and when i spoke about it i was told 'she probably deserved it' or 'she was asking for it'

i hope it changes for New zealand soon, it's such a beautiful country, i have heaps of NZ friends


felicia
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandybear
iv'e had friends who were beat up by their husbands and when i spoke about it i was told 'she probably deserved it' or 'she was asking for it'
Sounds like there really needs to be some a consciousness-raising effort in Australia, as well as some major attitude adjustments. "She was asking for it"??? "She probably deserved it"? When does ANYONE deserve to be abused by someone who claims to love them? NEVER. How sad indeed
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
Yeah, right. Let the violent offenders walk the street, but make sure those pot smokers are locked up!
post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
Yeah, right. Let the violent offenders walk the street, but make sure those pot smokers are locked up!


I have been making that staement for about 15 years and no one listens ....

I will say for one family I know , jail wasnt the answer and the young man( he was 19) did learn and the couple are doing well... he got intensive counseling about anger management...

I would say jail for a repeat or truly violent offender..
post #14 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharky
I will say for one family I know , jail wasnt the answer and the young man( he was 19) did learn and the couple are doing well... he got intensive counseling about anger management...

I would say jail for a repeat or truly violent offender..
When someone is abusing their partner, they do not need anger management counseling...that is a common misconception. If he had an anger management issue, he would have been abusing EVERYONE, not just his partner. What most batterers have are power and control issues (and they are most often behaviors learned during childhood). THAT is what needs to be addressed through serious counseling; anger management barely scratches the surface. BTW, only about 1 in 15 batterers (if that) will ever completely stop being abusive....even with counseling, some may stop the physical battering but few ever stop the emotional/verbal abuse.

However, I do wish his wife safety and luck!


Quote:
Originally Posted by sharky
Iwould say jail for a repeat or truly violent offender..
ANYONE who commits domestic violence is a repeat offender....domestic violence by his very definition is a pattern of behaviors designed to exert power and control over another....Normally, when the police are notified of a domestic violence incident, abuse has been going on looooong before that.

Sorry, this is one area where I WILL get up on my soapbox!
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
When someone is abusing their partner, they do not need anger management counseling...that is a common misconception. If he had an anger management issue, he would have been abusing EVERYONE, not just his partner. What most batterers have are power and control issues (and they are most often behaviors learned during childhood). THAT is what needs to be addressed through serious counseling; anger management barely scratches the surface. BTW, only about 1 in 15 batterers (if that) will ever completely stop being abusive....even with counseling, some may stop the physical battering but few ever stop the emotional/verbal abuse.

However, I do wish his wife safety and luck!



ANYONE who commits domestic violence is a repeat offender....domestic violence by his very definition is a pattern of behaviors designed to exert power and control over another....Normally, when the police are notified of a domestic violence incident, abuse has been going on looooong before that.

Sorry, this is one area where I WILL get up on my soapbox!
Maybe I should tell you the situation ... He wasnt hitting her or emotionally abusing her... he was punching the walls an d the glass coffeee table ... They called it domestic vilence since the neighbor who called reproted yelling an d things breaking ..I has been almost nine years and not another insident ..
post #16 of 16
Men who abuse women are little, angry guys, and they abuse the women (whether it be hitting them, yelling at them, calling them names, withholding affection, degrading them in public places), because it makes them feel all-big and powerful and like manly-men.

The TRUE manly-men on this earth are confident and do not need to hit women, do not need to call them B-words or C-words or put them down in front of people. The real men are the men who put women up on a pedestal and treat them either equally or above them. It's called RESPECT, and there are loads of men who were raised to disrespect women, either by their own fathers dissing their mothers OR their cold, angry mothers making them into miserable little sons.

Unfortunately there are too many of these angry little guys who come off as so-confident, and it attracts the best women on the planet. It is going to take us women to be able to spot the abusers and steer clear from them once we get OUT of the relationship with the angry guy.

It's not the woman's fault, yet women take all the blame. "He yelled at me for a reason"... or the little girl to the abused mom "you must have done something really bad mommy to make daddy call you that name and cuss at you".

Jails get overcrowded, and truthfully anyone who has ever been in jail just gets out on 'good behavior'; whether it's theft-related, drug-related, or wife-abusing-related.

The one thing that will stop abuse is women standing up for themselves, recognizing an abuser & getting herself free from a current one, and not allowing herself to come into contact with those types of men again. When the man runs out of "enablers"... women who he cannot abuse because that woman will kick his butt right back with her self-confidence and her own strength (inner or outer), then maybe domestic violence will take a downward spiral.

Take it from a gal who learned the profile of an Abuser and who learned to keep them AWAY.
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