or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Affectionate or not?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Affectionate or not?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
This is not exactly a problem, but I would like your opinions. When I adopted my cat at the shelter 4 weeks ago, I was told that she LOVES to be petted and is very affectionate. I was looking for an affectionate cat and was not interested in cats that are too independent. She is 4 yrs old, spayed, probably a wire-hair cross from the fur. She is also pretty shy, but has come out from hidding about 2 weeks ago. She follows me around the house quite a bit, and likes to sit down on the floor behind me to watch me when I am at the computer. When I go to pet her, she also arches her back to meet my hand(I guess that means she likes to be touched?), and sometimes she would also butts her head into my hand when I am standing up. Very infrequently, she would roll over (I guess that is a sign she is enjoying the petting?) What I find strange is, usually when I go to pet her, I would be able to put in one or two pet, and then she gets up, walks a foot away, and sits back down. She also doesn't seem very relaxed when I touch her--for example, if I pet her when she's sitting down, she would get her butt up, as if to prepare to run if necessary. She has never come to sit on my lap, or even lay her head down on my legs. She does not let me pick her up or hug her. So, I can't interpret the mixed message she is sending me. Does she like to be touched or not? Do you all think that the shelter has mis-represented her?

post #2 of 11
It took my adopted kitty a loooong time to get used to me. She's probably still just adjusting, checking you out, and not totally sure of her surroundings (and You!) yet. Give her some time. It sounds like she does enjoy it, but isn't quite sure of everything. My cat still doesn't like to be picked up and I've had her for years. Good luck, and keep on loving her! She'll come around!
post #3 of 11
I agree, give your new cat some time and patience. I once had a cat who, as a young kitten, spent 6 months at a shelter before I found her. When the cat first came to my home, her behavior was very similiar to your cat's behavior. I don't think your cat was misrepresented by the shelter, it sounds like you made a good choice. My cat came around, and I'm sure yours will too.
post #4 of 11
"What I find strange is, usually when I go to pet her, I would be able to put in one or two pet, and then she gets up, walks a foot away, and sits back down."

I would agree with the other responses. . .it really sounds like she needs a little time. . .and from the sounds of it she clearly likes to be in your presence, just not ready for glomming on quite yet.

I would add that it might help tremendously if you did a little "playing hard to get".. . .it worked very well on a feral cat who previously would never let anyone pick her up, nor would she sit on laps; in a few weeks would sit on laps and shoulders.

Here's how it works, lets suppose kitty likes chin scratches. if kitty walks away at 2 chin scratches, then only give her 1 chin scratch, and do it at a full arms length away; then ignore her. Only approach her a few times a day and always give her less attention than she wants. After a few days make the motions as if you were going to scratch her, BUT hold your hand an inch or two away from her. . .that way if she wants any affection she has to initiate it and lean into your hand.Keep petting her at arms length until she starts moving her body closer and closer and accepting more pets. It may take a few weeks, but I betcha playing a little harder to get might do the trick!
post #5 of 11
4 weeks oh she is just a newbee - she needs time an lots of TLC - she'll come around just watch - also bribing with yummy treats is always a hit - hehehehehe

Congradulations on your new baby
post #6 of 11
Be aware, though, that even the most affectionate cats sometimes shun one aspect of closeness. None of my four like to be held, but they all cuddle and follow me around everywhere. It's not a matter of getting used to it, because three of the four have been in my house since birth. They just don't like it.
post #7 of 11
I think every cat is different. My cat Misty changes her moods on how she wants to be petted. lately she's been more cuddley and pushy for attention . With Ni though it's different. She waits until Misty is away from me and then comes to be petted.
post #8 of 11
Blackie very seldom asks to be petted, but he purrs so loudly when I do it. He gives head butts and likes the back of his neck scratched. He also likes his belly rubbed and will roll on his back when he wants that. He sometimes lets me pick him up, as long as I hold him so he can look over my shoulder, and he sometimes lays near me, but he doesn't like to sit on me.

Sparky likes to sit on my chest when I lay down. He can just sit there and purr without being petted, though he also tells me if he wants petted by rubbing against my hands. If he rolls on his back, I leave him alone, because that is how some cats invite others to play and that means wrestling and teeth and claws, and I don't want my hands attacked. Sometimes Sparky will come lay next to me, then wrestle my hand or elbow, as if I had put it there to annoy him.

We've only had Fred about 2 weeks and he's not quite used to us yet. He doesn't sleep with us or sit near me, but he does sleep with my daughter and he often sits where he can see me. He sometimes asks to be petted by reaching for me as I walk past him. He doesn't seem completely at ease and isn't purring much yet, but I think that will come with time.

All of the cats have that spot near their tails. Sparky really likes to be scratched there, Fred seems to like it pretty well, and Blackie isn't into ti and sometimes swats if scratched there.

So those are my experiences, all 3 are different and express their affection in different ways. Hope that gives you some insight into your baby.
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hey, thanks for all the suggestions. I think I'll give my cat some time. The difficult issue is that a kitten (about 5 months old) showed up at my door 2 days ago, crying, hungry and injured. I checked around with neighbors and no one has lost a kitten. The kitten also has a collar with no name tag! I am thinking more and more that this is someones' Christmas kitten present, and now that it's grown, they are abandoning it (bad thought, but it does happen). I took him to the vet and am thinking that I should keep the kitten. Right now my 4-year-old is not very happy, and is acting more "stuck up" than before. I guess time is the best medicine.
post #10 of 11
Well, it sounds like that kitty at least needs a temporary home. Be sure to contact local shelters, look in the classifieds and watch out for lost cat signs. He may be a very loved and missed lost kitty.

I lost my cat last summer and she was never returned. I was so stupid and a visitor lost her and she had no collar or microchip.

Good luck with the furries!
post #11 of 11
i agree with the microchip response...when you took her to the vet, did they run the microchip machine over her? i found a stray cat who had one (but her family had still abandoned her...some people are very strange).
anyway, that brings me to my next point. the stray cat i found was VERY friendly and affectionate when i first met her. she was very scared and just wanted to feel secure. when she came into my home, she became rather aloof. it's been about 4 months now since josie came to live with me and delph (my other baby), and she is coming around. she now sleeps next to me in bed at night (comes in on her own and takes the part that delph doesn't take), and will hop up on my lap. she never did any of this.
however, she still plays the game of coming, asking for attention and then leaving once she gets a bit.
just give your baby time. i am sure she will come around. like everyone, i'm sure she is just looking for security and love...and trust does take tiem to build.
steph, delph and josie
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Behavior
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Affectionate or not?