Am I a bad mother for this...

My son is the only grandson on my side of the family and the youngest grandson by 15 years on hubbys side of the family. Thus he gets spoiled with tons of toys.

My son, Taylor, now 5 yrs old is infatuated with Trains, and airplanes so we have almost every thomas the tank engine train plus some real HO model trains. He could care less about the rest of his THOUSANDS of toys. yes im serious THOUSANDS. We have a 10x10 storage shed that has 16 (sixteen) of the large black garbage bags FULL and overflowing of his toys, 3 large closets in our home are filled with his toys, he has a huge cedar toy box in his room filled to the brim with toys, and his closet is filled with toys. He also has a train table that is covered in toys and 4 storage bins (large ones) below it that are filled and overflowing with toys.

I am having a garage sale tomorrow to get rid of some baby toys and such that we have since hubby wont let me have any more kids. So i figured id get rid of 75%- 90% of taylors toys-- i wont get rid of the ones that he loves and plays with but the rest of the stuff is leaving somehow someway. Whats not sold will be donated if its in good enough condition to be donated and most of it is.

I did this last year but only got rid of 25% of his toys which didnt even makea dent. I caught sooooo muh flack from friends and relatives who found out about it. I put them in one of those hard plastic kiddee pools and put a sign up take what you want 4 for a buck. Im overwhelemd with toys, stepping on them, finding them everywhere.

Does this make me a bad mom to do this? I explained to Taylor several times that he has too many toys and we need to find new homes for them-- he agrees but im not sure if he really realizes that he wont have them. Some of these toys he hasnt seen in over a year since they have been in storage and he obviously hasnt missed them.

Input anyone?

Okay, first know that I'm not a mom (of human babies, anyway ... LOL) and so you can take or leave what I say, but ...

From what I've observed and read, kids with as many toys as your son seems to have actually get CONFUSED and BORED because they have too many choices of what to play with. So yes, it's definitely better in my opinion to do some serious paring down of his collection.

The reason other people are objecting to this is because they've probably spent their hard earned money buying this kid toys and now they think you're just getting rid of them for no reason.

If I were you, rather than selling the toys in a garage sale, I would donate them to a charity like Goodwill or the Salvation Army, or to a church daycare center. If your little boy knows that his toys are going to poor kids who don't have any toys, it might make him feel a little better about them going away.

No, that doesn't make you a bad mom!. Kids don't need that many toys and if he has that many toys there is no possible way that he could play with them all. Why not let some other little boy or girl's mommy or daddy buy them from the garage sale that maybe couldn't afford them new. I think it's a wonderful idea!!

well if i were you, id be selling all the ones in the shed. If he doesnt miss them in there then he miss them when there gone. If your worried about him getting upset with the others than try to make the selling fun. Have him sort them out and turn it into a game somehow...

....i watch way to much supernanny and nanny911. i dont even have kids!

he doesnt have a problem with getting rid of them-- at least not one he has expressed to me or hubby-- he even on his own volition helped me sort some of them out last nite and i told him we could keep some of them if he really really wanted them. I know some people from my daycare are coming tomorrow to get some that i have told them about. My FIL has bought most of these toys and several are the cheapo dollar store type that break as you try to take them out of the box. My FIL knows that these toys break and every weekend or so he takes taylor to kmart or walmart and lets him have a shopping spree-- The ones we will be keeping are the nice ones that either he still plays with, have sintemental value, or he wants to keep.


i dont feel like im going to be depriving my son by getting rid of his toys (more than likely he willl be getting more this weekend to replace some that are sold )but i caught so much flack last year from other parents that we know ( most who never bought taylor a toy) and they said that they would never do what im doing-- My son has too many toys. im tooo overwhelmed.

ps-- im going thru the toys from the shed and storage today and sorting them so most of his toys are going out tomorrow.

I have no kids, but I have to say poo on everyone giving you a hard time!
What are you supposed to do, move out so that there is room for all these toys.

When I was around his age, we had a house rule, anytime we got a new toy, we had to give up two old toys.
For birthdays/Christmas, we only had to give up two toys, regardless of how many we got as gifts.

It was actually a pretty good arrangement, and we got to pick the two toys we'd give up.
They were always donated, and we were told to feel good that we were making another kid happy that may not otherwise have any toys.

At 5 years he might be interested in helping to sell his old toys if he knows he will get all/most of the proceeds. You can have part go into a savings account and part he can spend for a special event/treat/item. Part can also go to charity. This mioght help him appreciate money more.

I used to work in a daycare/playspace, btw, and can vouch for the idea that ther is such a thing as "too much" How can he know what he wants to play with if he can't SEE all the things he has?

1. go through with him and let him pick oh, say 1 in every 20 toys of all the toys he has to keep.
2. Keep any toys that YOU have a sentimental attachment to, and store the ones you care about in a serilite or tupperware container, because they stack well and are generally see through.
3. maybe give him a few containers on a large set of shelves for him to put his different types of toys into IE: A red one for trains, A green one for leggos, a yellow one for stuffies, etc, so that he knows where they are, rather than having to tear all the stuff about the room to find what he wants.
Also you can use these shelves for board games and books, ETC.
4. When he gets something new, make him donate something old that he doesn't play with to a charity to keep it in check It will also help instill in him the idea of helping people in need.

Basically, if anyone asks why you're getting rid of the toys, let them see just how many toys he has, that's insane!

I think you're a GREAT mother to get rid of all these unused toys since other children will benefit. For the leftovers, you might want to check with your local hospitals or Ronald McDonald house. They may enjoy having some of your son's things in their playrooms. You might also try local women's shelters for victims of domestic abuse.

You might also try explaining to your families that your son is overwhelmed by their generosity and does not need more toys. They probably won't listen but you can try. Perhaps they could scale back their toy giving and donate to his college fund.

thats alot of toys. and no your not a bad mom for donateing them

Originally Posted by gemlady

At 5 years he might be interested in helping to sell his old toys if he knows he will get all/most of the proceeds. You can have part go into a savings account and part he can spend for a special event/treat/item. Part can also go to charity. This mioght help him appreciate money more.

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Thats a great idea. Another is, for you and your son to take a few to your local hospital on the childrens ward. I have three sons, teenagers now but we did the same thing when they were younger. We picked out some of the toys in really good condition and we took them to the childrens cancer ward in our area. They were nervous at first about going but when they saw how happy it made the little boys so happy to get a batman figure it made them feel good.
As long as you make this a positive thing you can really not go wrong. Be strong and don't let them get you down.

thanks for all the replies-- i just spent the last hour in the storage shed pulling not 16 but 22 bags and sterilite tubs full of toys out. he has more than i thought! -- fixin to sit down and go thru them-- I have a feeling that most of the toys wont sell so they will go to the kids that are living in our local hurricane shelter still and to salvation army.

I think that im going to take some of yalls ideas though and start a house rule that for every new toy at least one maybe 2 must be donated. I hope that will cut down on the toys in our house. Taylor (and his 18 mo old sister) already has his/their college and grad school paid for ( thanks FIL) and Taylor is on a commission allowance system that he only gets "paid" for the jobs he does-- he has certain jobs he can do for money and those he gets set amounts for if he does them. Very organized system that allows him to help with other things and get "bonuses" on top of his commission. We split up his commission in 3 different banks-- one for spending (25%) one for saving (50%) and one for giving (25%) He has goals of what he saves his money for like higher end toys and such-- usually model trains or some huge @** remote control vehicle.

Thanks again everyone for your comments and suggestions.

I'm not a mom by a long shot, but I have a very good one. So I'll tell yu what she used to do when I was a kid.

She would explain to me that sometimes, we need to let go of our old things to make room for the new. Then, she would tell me that a lot of less fortunate children could really use my toys and that they'd really appreciate it if I shared the ones I didn't play with anymore or had outgrown with them. Together, she and I would go through the toys, and fill a certain sized box with toys. Then, she would pack me and my unwanted toys up and we'd drive to Children's Memorial Hospital and go to the cancer ward and distribute toys. Or we'd go to PADS. I think it was a really good excercise for both of us

No. You are not a bad mom. Not even close. You are making a good decision. What's the point of having all that stuff that doesn't even get used?

Besides, kids who get everything under the sun end up unable to value anything they have. So, on many levels, what you're doing is a good thing.

I too am not a parent, so for what it's worth:

I think getting rid of 2 for every 1 I gain is a great idea (works for my closet anyway).

Also, don't you feel freed of stress and less depressed if you have less clutter and junk in your living space? If a child has only a few cherished toys he/she should be more happy than having so many they can't play with them all and the ones they don't love as much get in the way. Plus, you could tell those relatives that you would rather have things the whole family can enjoy together (games for the family or paid trips to zoos, campgrounds, theme parks, etc.) If you have fewer cheap toys, you can invest in things like a swing set or a moon bounce or things like that which can be as enjoyable for the adults to watch the kids play with as much as for the kids that are actually using them.

It's great to have personal stuff, but too much stuff loses its value and sentiment and weighs a body down. Even a kid's.

Originally Posted by Vibiana

From what I've observed and read, kids with as many toys as your son seems to have actually get CONFUSED and BORED because they have too many choices of what to play with. So yes, it's definitely better in my opinion to do some serious paring down of his collection.

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thats a great observation....i agree 100%....overstimulation of the child

It's all been said so well, I just want to add my congratulations on a GOOD decision. Bad Mom? Not at all!! GOOD Mom!

Hey there is another solution! Anybody who says you shouldn't do this - just give them 4 bags of the stuff and make them take it to their house - or heck give it all to the first person that makes a comment.

I would just start loading it in their car and if they asked why I'd tell them I don't have room for it so if they want it kept they can keep it.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Hey there is another solution! Anybody who says you shouldn't do this - just give them 4 bags of the stuff and make them take it to their house - or heck give it all to the first person that makes a comment.

I would just start loading it in their car and if they asked why I'd tell them I don't have room for it so if they want it kept they can keep it.

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i tried that with my hubbys family-- they all have a room dedicated to taylor and his toys-- they have about the same amount of toys at their houses that taylor has here! lol didnt work really well for me!

but its going to be over with in the morning-- my house will be a bit less cluttered.Yippeee--

again thank you everyone

I think you need to have a serious talk with the family about spoiling children! It sounds like they all love little Taylor but try to express it with 'things' and that is not good for him in the long run. I think what you are doing is great.