thanks for the comforting words.
I do feel much better now. I think it was another one of my nasty bouts of depression. I guess that's a good reminder for me to get help before it comes back again.
The main problem I am having with Thanksgiving is not the day itself... it just reminded me of how alone I really am. I do have a family, but I do not like most of my family, particularely my parents. So going to visit them isn't like going "home". It's a chore.
Until over a year ago, I was living with my boyfriend and felt a great deal of affinity with his family. Then after we broke up, I realised that I hadn't really created a bond with his family (I was mostly relying on him as a bond) and I never managed to get really close to them. And I know that Thanksgiving is a big family holiday for them. I had secret hopes that I would be invited but I wasn't. I know if I asked to go they would say yes and would probably enjoy seeing me, but it's not like me to invite myself somewhere. Especially to a family thing.
Now I just moved here about a month ago. I don't really have any friends. I barely even know anyone still. I always have problems making friends.
Most of the time I'm doing fine, but as soon as I start feeling sad, it just reminds me of how I have no one around to comfort me. No one I can call to just talk. Makes me feel very helpless and alone.
As for this thanksgiving, I will probably use the day off to catch up on some school work. Maybe do something nice too. I have been so obsessed with schoolwork that I barely allowed myself to go out.
Maybe I'll take myself out for dinner and a movie!