Need advice on inappropriate neighbors

xomycatsxo · Sep 28, 2005

Excellent advice! I absolutely agree that you should not confront them alone.. even if it's you and your friend. You really want to avoid any kind of confrontation whatsoever, I'm always paranoid that people (thugs) are going to retaliate over something incredibly stupid. Most criminals (or people paving their way to becoming one) are the quickest to retaliate against someone/thing that is trying to bring them to justice.

My poor sister, who struggles every day to make ends meet, just had her tires slashed for a second time. Of course she can't prove it - but KNOWS it's her ex who is jealous she's with someone else. Just like animal abuse- anyone who can commit a crime against someone or something, is very dangerous and needs to be stayed clear of.

I know we may all be making a much bigger deal than what it actually is - but w/ all the psycho's in this world, it's definitely not worth chancing.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Originally Posted by Middletown

One of the best things NOT to do, is to let them know by your actions or body language is that they are getting to you and your friend. Preditors feast on fear.
Dont divert your eyes but dont stare either...show no fear only rational caution.

If possible have your husbands with you as you walk by. If anyother reason just to be seen with your hubbies.
and THEY ULTIMATE thing not to do is ANYTHING confrentational toward them when you are alone! for the safety of your cats and you!
GL
Ric

zoe'n'misskitty · Sep 28, 2005

Originally Posted by emb_78

Well I called the police today, and they asked me if I went over to talk to them? Ummm HELLO??? She was no help at all!

She said well when you go for a walk can't you walk the other way?" ::censor::censor::censor:: That just isn't right. Well with out her help I did find out the owners name. I am wondering if I should call or what to do... I really don't wanting them to know who I am!!!

You need to call back to the police department and ask to speak with the dispatch supervisor or shift commander. That dispatcher's nonchalonce could get someone hurt and should be reported to her superior officer.
I'm sure that an actual cop would be of much more assistance. And if you can, try to speak with a female officer...men, even cops, sometimes blow off things like the harrassment that you are experiencing because they A) don't know how it feels and B) wouldn't feel physically threatened by it.

Also, as others have suggested, DO NOT confront these men when you are alone.
Oh, and invest in some pepper spray...just in case.

emb_78 · Sep 28, 2005

Originally Posted by Middletown

One of the best things NOT to do, is to let them know by your actions or body language is that they are getting to you and your friend. Preditors feast on fear.
Dont divert your eyes but dont stare either...show no fear only rational caution.

If possible have your husbands with you as you walk by. If anyother reason just to be seen with your hubbies.
and THEY ULTIMATE thing not to do is ANYTHING confrentational toward them when you are alone! for the safety of your cats and you!
GL
Ric

I'm glad I read this. Yesterday I actually went outside hoping they would say something to me, and then I was going to go over there. They didn't say anything...Maybe God has a different plan.

emb_78 · Sep 28, 2005

Originally Posted by Zoe'n'MissKitty

You need to call back to the police department and ask to speak with the dispatch supervisor or shift commander. That dispatcher's nonchalonce could get someone hurt and should be reported to her superior officer.
I'm sure that an actual cop would be of much more assistance. And if you can, try to speak with a female officer...men, even cops, sometimes blow off things like the harrassment that you are experiencing because they A) don't know how it feels and B) wouldn't feel physically threatened by it.

Also, as others have suggested, DO NOT confront these men when you are alone.
Oh, and invest in some pepper spray...just in case.

I talked to a female cop when I called yesterday!!!! She was the one to tell me to walk the other way!!!

First when I called I told my story to a man, then he transfered me to the women.

xomycatsxo · Sep 28, 2005

Another very fine idea.

Originally Posted by

Oh, and invest in some pepper spray...just in case.

emb_78 · Sep 28, 2005

Oh, yeah I have pepper spray and gave some to my friend also. Its sad that there are people like this out there!!!

catsknowme · Sep 28, 2005

To find out who the landlord is, go to City Hall or the County Assessor's Office - it's public record. And if you could, carry a small tape-recorder in your pocket & hope that the creepy-ones make comments - you'd be surprised how much a recorder will pick up (since there is no supposition of privacy on a public sidewalk, it's okay to record)! AND then, call the district attorney's office -they will know more than even the police on what your rights are & aren't. The DA's are usu. very willing to help out! AFter you have some input from the DA's, you can go to the police again, and they will most likely be more willing to listen - they depend on the DA's office to prosecute for them, and it shows!! Just compare the cops' attitudes with the DAs to theirs with the Public Defenders!

I totally sympathize with you! I have had that problem throughout the years - esp. when I was single with 2 daughters, and much younger!

It's such an awful feeling when home doesn't feel private & safe! Please keep us posted on how this situation is going!

wellingtoncats · Sep 29, 2005

Sorry to hear about your troubles!

loveysmummy · Sep 29, 2005

I am going to be the lone dissenter here.

I wouldn't make a fuss. They haven't done anything to make it appear as if your personal safety is at stake, IMO. When this happens to me walking down the street anywhere (and it must have happened to you before), I usually like to make a joke or a witty comment back. I am not sure if you feel nervous because they are criminals or because they are men catcalling.

But just because they are criminals IMO is not a reason to react with police in tow.
You have to use your own judgement and I may see it differently, but just because someone "may possibly" be a criminal doesn't mean they are violent or aggressive. \\

If it were me, I would make a joke or comment back to them in a friendly funny way putting us on the same playing field so to speak. In fact, I have to do this daily walking down my street to criminals and non-criminals alike

Good luck with your situation. Stay safe but judge the situation accordingly.

xomycatsxo · Sep 29, 2005

This would be my response to the 'maybe we're overreacting here' part of me.

Funny story. I was in Boston to visit a customer several years back and these guys working at a construction site started whistling, etc. Well, I got really ticked and gave them a 'friendly' gesture with me hand (not too lady-like, I know) and next thing I know my heel got caught in a crack and I freaking went flying forward on all fours. I had a big cut on my knee, panty hose ripped. I was embarassed at the time but by the time I got to my customer's (who I was very close to) I was laughing and making fun of myself. I always love telling that story because it's so the type of thing that happens to only me (or so it seems)!

Originally Posted by Loveysmummy

I am going to be the lone dissenter here.

I wouldn't make a fuss. They haven't done anything to make it appear as if your personal safety is at stake, IMO. When this happens to me walking down the street anywhere (and it must have happened to you before), I usually like to make a joke or a witty comment back. I am not sure if you feel nervous because they are criminals or because they are men catcalling.

But just because they are criminals IMO is not a reason to react with police in tow.
You have to use your own judgement and I may see it differently, but just because someone "may possibly" be a criminal doesn't mean they are violent or aggressive. \\

If it were me, I would make a joke or comment back to them in a friendly funny way putting us on the same playing field so to speak. In fact, I have to do this daily walking down my street to criminals and non-criminals alike

Good luck with your situation. Stay safe but judge the situation accordingly.

pushylady · Sep 29, 2005

I was in Boston to visit a customer several years back and these guys working at a construction site started whistling, etc. Well, I got really ticked and gave them a 'friendly' gesture with me hand (not too lady-like, I know) and next thing I know my heel got caught in a crack and I freaking went flying forward on all fours.

! That would so happen to me too! At least you can laugh about it! I get very mad

when people are rude or agressive-people really need to make more of an effort to be socially acceptable, y'know, if I can then why can't they?
I know how it feels to be intimidated and not feel safe where you live. And I worry about my cats especially as people see us walking them outside. We used to have a Hell's Angel dude live next door. They were always yelling at each other and the kids and treating their dog really badly. They're the kind of people who get away with things because everyone else is too afraid to do anything. Well, one day I snapped! I was walking by (on our property) and their dog lunged and barked at me (as usual) and I just started yelling at the lady about how we should be able to walk past without worrying about their dog biting us rah rah rah....

Well, I came home that day and her husband had put up a fence!

My husband was pleased but scared at the same time - you just don't want to pi** these people off.
We also have a halfway house down the road that houses people with mental disorders. It's very unfortunate, but I guess these places have to be somewhere, right? It's not fun to have someone walking by engaged in a very loud and offensive yelling match with themselves, but I mostly just feel sorry for them as they're not threatening to other people.

Depsite my "run-in" with the neighbours, I would be very wary of getting into anything with your troublesome neighbours. Anomynity is best!

xomycatsxo · Sep 29, 2005

That's a cute story.

I laughed too because my dad (stepdad) USED to (WAY back when) ride or even be part of, the Hell's Angels. My dad is an incredibly intimidating person to look at- huge guy, tons of tatoos and scars (from who knows what) all over. Well, the minute you start talking to him - he doesn't shut up. He's the sweetest guy in the world and will talk to anyone. Some mistake him to be desperate for anyone willing to listen to him.

He's just a big teddy bear. When he calls, sometimes we don't answer because we know we don't have an hour to talk- and we tell him that when he calls again and tells us he's been trying to reach us. We'll say, "I know dad, but we didn't have an hour to chat so we figured you could talk to the answering machine and we'd call you back."- hehe. Love him though.

My unk and gram (his mother and Uncle) get the brunt of his calls (he lives in TN and owns an 18 wheeler and works for Harley Davidson). You should see it - they're in their 70's - my gram is BIG TIME religious.. and she'll go on and on about how he just won't shut up. It's funny. The two of them will sit on their rocking chairs in the living room, rolling their eyes and go on about how many time he called that day.

Okay, I think I've gone on enough.

Originally Posted by pushylady

! That would so happen to me too! At least you can laugh about it! I get very mad

when people are rude or agressive-people really need to make more of an effort to be socially acceptable, y'know, if I can then why can't they?
I know how it feels to be intimidated and not feel safe where you live. And I worry about my cats especially as people see us walking them outside. We used to have a Hell's Angel dude live next door. They were always yelling at each other and the kids and treating their dog really badly. They're the kind of people who get away with things because everyone else is too afraid to do anything. Well, one day I snapped! I was walking by (on our property) and their dog lunged and barked at me (as usual) and I just started yelling at the lady about how we should be able to walk past without worrying about their dog biting us rah rah rah....

Well, I came home that day and her husband had put up a fence!

My husband was pleased but scared at the same time - you just don't want to pi** these people off.
We also have a halfway house down the road that houses people with mental disorders. It's very unfortunate, but I guess these places have to be somewhere, right? It's not fun to have someone walking by engaged in a very loud and offensive yelling match with themselves, but I mostly just feel sorry for them as they're not threatening to other people.

Depsite my "run-in" with the neighbours, I would be very wary of getting into anything with your troublesome neighbours. Anomynity is best!

Need advice on inappropriate neighbors

xomycatsxo

TCS Member

zoe'n'misskitty

TCS Member

emb_78

TCS Member

Thread starter

emb_78

TCS Member

Thread starter

xomycatsxo

TCS Member

emb_78

TCS Member

Thread starter

catsknowme

TCS Member

wellingtoncats

TCS Member

loveysmummy

TCS Member

xomycatsxo

TCS Member

pushylady

TCS Member

xomycatsxo

TCS Member

Latest Posts

Connect with us